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Locking Jokes

38 locking jokes and hilarious locking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about locking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Locking Short Jokes

Short locking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The locking humour may include short locks jokes also.

  1. Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes? Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
  2. I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.
  3. EA's microtransaction policy is so bad that... [This punchline is locked. Please pay 20,000 credits to unlock]
  4. I accidentally locked my key in my car in front of an abortion clinic... They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.
  5. I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger
  6. What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.
  7. What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
  8. Your dog loves you more than your wife does. Want proof? Lock them both in the trunk of your car. Let them out an hour later and see which one is happy to see you.
  9. The thing I learned from beauty and the beast: Any girl can fall in love with you given you lock her in the basement long enough.
  10. I went to the zoo today and saw a bagel locked up in a cage. Apparently it was bread in captivity.

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Locking One Liners

Which locking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with locking? I can suggest the ones about unlock and lock unlock.

  1. If Trump really wanted Hillary to be locked up... He should have just hired her!
  2. I like my women like I like my wine 12 years old and locked in the basement
  3. What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn o into an O .
  4. I like my women like I like my bikes. Chained up and locked down in my garage.
  5. I just learned how to lock pick Its opened so many doors for me
  6. What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison? They both turn "o" into "O".
  7. Why couldnt the laptop take off his hat? He had caps lock on.
  8. I went to a store that sells door locks for little people. Low key, it was pretty nice.
  9. What do you call a crippled kid locked in a hot car? Steamed Vegetable.
  10. Why don't jamaican people secure their homes? Because they dread locks
  11. Why did the black man walk into a bar? Because the cell door was still locked.
  12. What do you call a lock with low self-confidence? Insecure.
  13. Learning to pick locks really opened a lot of doors for me
  14. What do you call Elsa when she locked herself in her room for years? Iceolated
  15. The local wig shop got broken into last night They've had to replace all the locks

Locking joke, The local wig shop got broken into last night

Delightful Fun Locking Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about locking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sealed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make locking pranks.

I'm s**... attracted to metal boxes with locking systems.

But don't worry. It's safe s**....

What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic?

When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

What do locking your keys in the car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both are easily fixed with a coat hanger.

What's the worst thing about accidentally locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go in and ask for a coat hanger.

What's the worst part about locking yourself out of your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger

My son said he couldn't sleep last night because of the thunder.

I feel bad for locking him out now.

Some women love playing hard to get.

Closing their blinds, locking their doors, calling the police...

Little Jimmy is sitting on the floor playing with his toy trains

A man walks in and says to little Jimmy,
Jimmy! I am you from the future!
Awesome! Says little Jimmy. What do I become in the future ?
A p**...... he replied, locking the door.

HAGS disease

"I am afraid you have HAGS disease," the doctor explained, "That is h**..., Aids, Gonorrhea, and s**..., so we are immediately putting you on a pizza and pancake diet."
"Those foods will cure me?" he is asked.
"No," says the doctor, "But those foods we can slide under the door to the room we are locking you up in!"

Locking your keys in the car is a lot like getting your girlfriend pregnant.

A coat hanger should take care of the problem.

what is worse than locking your keys in your car parked at planned parent hood?

going inside to borrow a coat hanger

Grocery store

I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

I had doubts about buying a big metal cabinet with a locking door for my guns

It turned out to be a safe purchase.

What's the definition of safe s**... in Alabama ?

Locking your car door before h**... your cousins

Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today...

I said no way, we should be concentrating on locking them up!

I have 6 locks on my door...

When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?

Plenty of coat hangers.

Who loves you more - your SO or your dog?

Try locking them both in the your car and see who's happier to see you when you return 4 hours later

My mom always gets violent with my dad during s**......

You'd think he'd try locking my bedroom door behind him by now.

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

The first rule of charades club is

*pantomimes zipping lips, locking them, and throwing away key*

Locking joke, The first rule of charades club is