Loch Ness Monster Jokes
31 loch ness monster jokes and hilarious loch ness monster puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loch ness monster that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Loch Ness Monster Short Jokes
Short loch ness monster jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loch ness monster humour may include short loch ness jokes also.
- Have you heard the Scottish National Party's proposal to reduce Loch Ness monster sightings? Nick all the sturgeon
- Some monsters have a medical condition in which it is actually imposible to take a cohesive picture of them Such monsters include: Sasquatch, The Loch Ness Monster, and Mike Wazowski.
- If the Loch Ness Monster exists, does that also mean it has a favourite vegetable? Loch Ness' celery.
- What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster? Messie
Thank you and goodnight. - If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws. - A very pixelated Loch Ness Monster showed up at my door... He said "Imma need about 8-bitty."
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Loch Ness Monster One Liners
Which loch ness monster one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loch ness monster? I can suggest the ones about frankenstein monster and mythical creature.
- What do you call the Loch Ness monster on drugs You're high ness
- What does the Loch Ness Monster eat? Fish & ships
- What's the best day to marry the Loch Ness Monster? Wednessday
- What kind of car does the loch Ness monster drive? A Nissan tree fiddy!
- What did the Loch Ness monster call his baby? The cute ness monster.
- Why didn't the Loch Ness monster tip the strippers? He needs free tiddies
- How much money would it cost to find and capture the Loch Ness Monster? About tree fiddy
- How many times has the Loch Ness monster been sighted as of late? About Tree Fiddy.
- How much is the Loch Ness Monster mod on Steam? about tree fiddy.
Cheerful Fun Loch Ness Monster Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about loch ness monster you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monster jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loch ness monster pranks.
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
She snatched the atheist up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing thim up in the air. Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"
Turns out there are TWO Loch Ness Monsters. One of them is quite mean, but the other actually gives away his forestry tools.
A little weird, sure, but it's always nice to see some random axe of Kind Ness.
An e-girl hit my dms and asked if I wanted to buy n**....
I said nah I'm broke I don't have any money. She said cmon they're really cheap. And I said no Im still broke and she said pleeeeeeeaaaase it's only 3.50 and then I realized that this e-girl was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era. I said d**... Loch Ness monster I ain't giving you no tree fiddy.
Checkmate, atheists.
An atheist was
rowing along in Loch Ness and WHOOSH! The Loch Ness monster rears up in front of him, hissing and ready to eat. The terrified man said, "Oh God, help me!"
An angry voice booms from the heavens, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
The atheist says, "Oh, come on! Ten seconds ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
Loch Ness
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
She snatched the athiest up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing the atheist up in the air. Just before he was about to fall into Nessie's jaws he cries out :
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheistand God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing
when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to s**... both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, Oh, my God! Please help me!
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, I thought you didn't believe in Me!
Come on God, give me a break!! the man pleaded. Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the LochNess monster either!
(Credit. The Joke Cafe)
An atheist is fishing in a boat on Loch Ness
When all of a sudden, the Loch Ness Monster comes up and begins thrashing his boat around. The monster tosses him into the air. On his way down he shouts "God, help me!"
Everything stops. He is mere feet from the monster's mouth. Then a loud, booming voice comes from the heavens and asks:
"You have not followed me for your entire life and have discouraged those who did. Why should I help you now?"
The atheist thinks for a moment before saying:
"Look, five minutes ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."