The Best 22 Loch Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Loch jokes. There are some loch tay jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these loch builder puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Loch Jokes and Puns

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

"...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.

She snatched the atheist up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing thim up in the air. Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out

"Oh god help me!"

Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"

The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"

What do you call the Loch Ness monster on drugs

You're high ness

Loch joke, What do you call the Loch Ness monster on drugs

Turns out there are TWO Loch Ness Monsters. One of them is quite mean, but the other actually gives away his forestry tools.

A little weird, sure, but it's always nice to see some random axe of Kind Ness.

An e-girl hit my dms and asked if I wanted to buy nudes.

I said nah I'm broke I don't have any money. She said cmon they're really cheap. And I said no Im still broke and she said pleeeeeeeaaaase it's only 3.50 and then I realized that this e-girl was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era. I said dammit Loch Ness monster I ain't giving you no tree fiddy.

The government has covered up the existence of monsters for centuries...

The truth is kept under Loch and key.

What does the Loch Ness Monster eat?

Fish & ships

Loch joke, What does the Loch Ness Monster eat?

Scotland know the right way to deal with corona virus...

They've gone into full loch down.

Did you know you have to swim to get into Scottish Houses?

It's because there's always a loch on the door! :D

What's the best day to marry the Loch Ness Monster?


Have you heard the Scottish National Party's proposal to reduce Loch Ness monster sightings?

Nick all the sturgeon

You can explore loch pond reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean loch angus dad jokes. There are also loch puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Lochte: My record is the most credible, because...

IM the world record holder.

What kind of car does the loch Ness monster drive?

A Nissan tree fiddy!

Lochte turns up late for his Brazil hearing...

"Very sorry Your Honour, I got held up"

Some monsters have a medical condition in which it is actually imposible to take a cohesive picture of them

Such monsters include: Sasquatch, The Loch Ness Monster, and Mike Wazowski.

What did the Loch Ness monster call his baby?

The cute ness monster.

Loch joke, What did the Loch Ness monster call his baby?

Why didn't the Loch Ness monster tip the strippers?

He needs free tiddies

I decided to hide my fortune beneath a stone docking platform next to a Scottish lake...

I'm keeping it under loch and quay.

Someone told me that a Loch Ness sighting can happen at anytime.

I like the random Ness of it.

If the Loch Ness Monster exists, does that also mean it has a favourite vegetable?

Loch Ness' celery.

What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster?


Thank you and goodnight.

Checkmate, atheists.

An atheist was
rowing along in Loch Ness and WHOOSH! The Loch Ness monster rears up in front of him, hissing and ready to eat. The terrified man said, "Oh God, help me!"

An angry voice booms from the heavens, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"

The atheist says, "Oh, come on! Ten seconds ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the loch dall jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working loch lagoon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes