"...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"
You're high ness
A little weird, sure, but it's always nice to see some random axe of Kind Ness.
when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, Oh, my God! Please help me!
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, I thought you didn't believe in Me!
Come on God, give me a break!! the man pleaded. Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the LochNess monster either!
(Credit. The Joke Cafe)
When all of a sudden, the Loch Ness Monster comes up and begins thrashing his boat around. The monster tosses him into the air. On his way down he shouts "God, help me!"
Everything stops. He is mere feet from the monster's mouth. Then a loud, booming voice comes from the heavens and asks:
"You have not followed me for your entire life and have discouraged those who did. Why should I help you now?"
The atheist thinks for a moment before saying:
"Look, five minutes ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."
The truth is kept under Loch and key.
Bubba Windsor and Earl Spencer had just finished a leisurely tour of The Fitzwilliam Museum at Grove Lane and a gourmet repast at Loch Fyne Restaurant Ltd. on Trumpington St. On this fine afternoon they were proceeding northwest toward King's Parade and their destination, St Catherine's College of Cambridge University in order to attend a lecture by Malcolm Longair, CBE FRS on astrophysical cosmology. As the two foppish gentlemen strolled they discussed Einstein's concern with the Lorentz transformation which left Maxwell's equations invariant. As they approached Little St Mary's Lane, they espied a British Bulldog, lolling about, giving his willy and bollocks a proper polishing. Bubba posited that he had a deep desire to do the same, saying "I dare say, I do wish I could perform such a maneuver" To which Earl Spencer responded "I'm quiet sure, if you asked nicely, he would let you"
Fish & ships
It's because there's always a loch on the door! :D
IM the world record holder.
Wednessday
A Ford F-tree-fiddy
A Nissan tree fiddy!
But no one's actually seen either
Nick all the sturgeon
"Very sorry Your Honour, I got held up"
Messie
Thank you and goodnight.
An atheist was
rowing along in Loch Ness and WHOOSH! The Loch Ness monster rears up in front of him, hissing and ready to eat. The terrified man said, "Oh God, help me!"
An angry voice booms from the heavens, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
The atheist says, "Oh, come on! Ten seconds ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
Under loch and quay
He needs free tiddies
The cute ness monster.
Such monsters include: Sasquatch, The Loch Ness Monster, and Mike Wazowski.
about tree fiddy.
He said "Imma need about 8-bitty."
About tree fiddy
This did not go swimmingly at all
Loch Ness' celery.
About Tree Fiddy.
I like the random Ness of it.
They called him the Loch Ness Mobster.
Synchronized swimmers would have kept their story straight.
I'm keeping it under loch and quay.
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