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Located Jokes

69 located jokes and hilarious located puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about located that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Located Short Jokes

Short located jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The located humour may include short location jokes also.

  1. The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
  2. So my girlfriend got a new tattoo...... Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.
  3. The moon landings were faked… But the director was such a perfectionist that he demanded they be filmed on location.
  4. I misplaced something at the office. A nice man in a turban helped me locate it. I guess it's true what they say. Sikh and you shall find.
    (
  5. The US government hired Stanley Kubrick to film the fake moon landing. ...but he was such a stickler for doing it right that he insisted that they film on location.
  6. I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting. I turned off the wifi router and simply waited in the room where it's located.
  7. Americas covid numbers are only because the population is so dense There are also a lot of people in certain locations
  8. Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty.
  9. You ever heard of the ocean located at 5.694647° S, 136.987557° W? I like to call it the specific ocean.
  10. NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to help fake the moon landings But he was such a perfectionist, he filmed on location.

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Located One Liners

Which located one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with located? I can suggest the ones about based and contained.

  1. Why are the pyramid located in Egypt? They were too big to transport to England.
  2. Where is a tech support's bathroom located? At their I Pee address!
  3. The moon landing was faked.... but the director was so good he shot on location
  4. Where is the bathroom for I.T people located? At the I pee address.
  5. Where is Macau located? In MaFarm
  6. How do you set your digital location to Skyrim? You use NordVPN
  7. What do you call a building you can't locate? A warehouse
  8. Where was Soloman's temple located? On the side of his head.
  9. Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan I heard the girls are hella thirsty
  10. Do you know where Engaged Ohio is located? It's in between Dayton and Marion..
  11. What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The location of the dirtbag.
  12. What do you do when you want to find a mythical location on a map? Well legend has it...
  13. What is the flower that is located between your nose and chin? Two Lips
  14. The Dyslexia Research Trust in UK is located in a town called Reading
  15. A guy with an inverted sight boarded a bus to a random location. Whoops, wrong sub.

Located joke, A guy with an inverted sight boarded a bus to a random location.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about located can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of located puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Ridiculous Located Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about located you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean oriented jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make located prank.

So an old lady's husband dies...

The old lady depressed and wants to kill herself goes to the doctor and asks him "Where is the heart located?" The doctor tells her it is under the left breast. The old lady goes to the gun store and buys a gun, goes home and puts the gun under her left breast and pulls the trigger. The old lady was soon admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound to her left knee.

An old lady was tired of her hard life and wanted to commit s**....

She decided the best way to die was to shoot herself through the heart, but she doesn't know where the heart is. So she called her doctor and asked.
The doctor told her the heart is located 2 inches below the left n**....
The old lady hung up and shot herself in her knee.

Ending It All

A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left n**....
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.

An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery.

But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.
A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".

A blonde

Is at her friend's house when the kitchen catches on fire, so she calls 911. "My friend's house is on fire!" she tells the operator. The operator asks for the address but she can't remember. The operator thinks for a moment then says, "Well, we are located in the center of town, how do we get to there?" The blonde replies, " Duh! A big red truck."

Achy breaky heart.

At the age of 98, Mildred was distraught to be left a widow. She decided to ended it all with her husband's revolver and join him in death. To make sure she did it properly she called the doctor and asked exactly where the heart is located. The doctor replied that the heart is just below the left breast. Hearing that she took the revolver and placed it on the spot and fired. Half an hour later she was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound-to her left knee.

A farm

Grandma on her deathbed is saying to her grandchild:
-"I want to leave you a my farm, which includes fields, a tractor, other equipment and 2.000.000 dollars."
Now grandchild becomes so happy because he became a millionare and says:
-"Oh, grandma, you're so kind to me I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it located?"
With the last breath grandma lets out:
-"On facebook..."

Canada's navy has 3 submarines!!!

Unfortunatley 2 of them are located in west Edmonton mall

What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?

Monica Lewinsky's teeth.

My mother is like cloud storage.

Everyone shares her and i have no idea where she's located.
Ps: I don't know if i phrased everything correctly.

The s**... is made up of Glucose........

MBBS Professor:
The s**... is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of.
A Girl raised her hand:
"Then why doesn't it
taste like Sugar?"
Suddenly silence in hall.
Girl:Oops.
Then Professor's reply was also a Medical master piece:
My dear, Thats because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your t**...
Killer .

The zookeeper said he'd tell me where the bathroom is located if I can say the alphabet.

"A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z"
He asks: "where's the D?"
"It's out for Harambe"

New BMWs don't have a d**... located in the engine anymore

They're now located in the driver seat

A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery.

He was found praying with friars.

If you're on Wall-street, where is your nearest welfare office located?

Inside of the U.S. tax code.

What you call a healthy, large aquatic mammal living in a structure that gives access to ground water that is located west of England?

A well Welsh well whale

TIL there are two Slavic nations located on the opposite sides of the globe.

They are North and South Poles.

A man walks into a bar located at the lowest point on earth near the dead sea

some 420m below sea level. He orders a drink and then tells an absolutely dreadful joke, but the bartender laughs heartily anyway, because the bar has been set low for this joke

A teacher says to a boy: "Answer one question i'm gonna give you and you can go home."

Boy :"Ok."
Teacher:"What state is Las Vegas located in?"
Boy:"That state"
Teacher:"What state exactly?"
Boy:"Woah, that's already the second question."

After years of searching for his missing journalist father, a man gets a call from the U.S. Embassy...

I regret to inform you that we've located your father's remains. They were found buried in a sack somewhere in Iraq.
Oh no! Baghdad?
Try to remember how he lived, not how he died.

Why is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in New York City, when the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is located in Cleveland?

Because the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is located in Cleveland

For those who don't know how to satisfy a woman...

The 'G' spot is located at the end of the word shopping.

Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand:

Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the right sock, no matter where it is located in the universe.

For those who know nothing about pleasing a woman:

The g spot is located at the end of the word 'shopping'.

A man walks into a butcher shop...

A man walks into a butcher shop and asks if the butcher has any duck meat.
The butcher says of course he does, but can only give it on a special condition.
"You can only get the duck if you stab yourself with a butcher's knife" the butcher tells the man.
The man was confused and Immediately demands an explanation for the absurd rule.
The butcher simply points to a sign located outside his store and it clearly reads
"No Harm No Fowl"

I told my wife I wanted a change and I was leaving for a remote area...

So I got up from the sofa and went to the coffee table where the remote was located.

A man went on a semi-guided hunting trip in the remote wilderness.

Before setting off on the first day the guide instructed him to shoot three times into the air if he should get lost. Sure enough, the man the man became lost and did as instructed. Nobody came. This continued over the course of the next four days. Finally, on the fifth day a search party located the lost man and just in the nick of time as he only had one arrow left.

Where are graveyards located?

In the dead center of town.

Where are graveyards located?

In the dead center of town.
Why are there fences around them?
Because everyone is just dying to get in.

A man decides to open up a business...

Sadly, he is located right between two other shops in the same line of business he wishes to enter. To his left, a large sign reads "Smith and Co.", to his right theres "Winstons Finest". So, after a bit of pondering, he decides to name his shop "Main Entrance"

A depressed old woman decides it's time to end it all..

so she purchases a p**... and decides she is going to shoot herself in the heart. However, wanting to make sure that death is quick, she visits her doctor to inquire the exact location of the heart. Her doctor informs her that the heart is located just under the left breast, after which she thanks him and returns home.
Later that evening the old woman is rushed to the emergency room with a gunshot to the left knee.

Police are reporting that they have just located a truck of stollen goods

Though they are not hopeful that anyone will come forward to claim the German fruitcake.

My uncle got a severe allergic reaction while staying in a remotely located hotel near Barcelona...

he would have died certainly as there were no hospitals close by. Suddenly we heard someone knocking on the hotel's door. Miraculously it was the hotel's in-house doctor.

We were quite amused by how the doctor showed up at the exact time he was needed.

Nobody expected the Spanish Inn Physician

Meanwhile at Walmart....

As I shopped, the following announcement came over the store's PA system...

"If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining... Towels are located in aisle five."

A teacher asks her student where the English Channel is located.

I'm not sure, the student answers, we switched cable companies last month.

A cop pulled a car over, with a driver that matched a description of a thief. Turns out the guy was not too smart.

The cop had a basic description of the thief, but seeing the matching tattoo, would seal this guys fate. The tattoo would be located on the guys forearm.
The cop says, "show me your forearms"
The driver looks confused
The cop gets louder, "show me your forearms!!"
The driver looks confused, and says, "I only have two"

I don't care where states are located

If Oklahoma was right next to Maine that would be ok by me.

The year is 1921. Eastern Poland, the new border with Russia is forming after WWI.

One of the officials coordinating this process stumbles upon an old house that is located just on the path of where the border would be set. Property, with an old shed and few acres of land, is habited by one old farmer.
"This is your lucky day, old man. You can choose whether you prefer to be on the Polish or Russian side of the border" says the officel.
"Polish" the farmer answers without hesitation.
"And why is that if I may ask?"
"Cause Ruskies have very harsh winters."

A 90 year old woman decided to commit s**....

She wanted to shoot herself in the heart but she wasn't sure exactly where it was located on her body so she called the doctor and asked where her heart was. He told her it was directly under her left breast. So she shot her kneecap off.

why are pyramids located in egypt?

they were too heavy for british people to steal and put in british museums

A private eye recounts one of the cases he's worked in: "From the moment I saw her outside my office window, I knew she was in big trouble."

"Mainly because my office was located on the 7th floor."

Where is the largest nursing home in the whole United States of America located?

Washington D.C.

What kind of neighborhood was Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks located in?

A gaited community.

Located joke, What kind of neighborhood was Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks located in?

jokes about located

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these located jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.