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Lobsters Jokes

110 lobsters jokes and hilarious lobsters puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lobsters that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Lobsters Short Jokes

Short lobsters jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lobsters humour may include short jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a lobster and a chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
  2. What do you call a belt made out of lobsters? A waist of good seafood
    I know it's bad but I heard it in a dream and had to share
  3. I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious
  4. Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
  5. Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2 I paid my $2 and he says "once upon a time, there was this lobster....."
  6. A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians.
  7. I was on the beach with my daughter. After a while, she turned to me and said, "Dad, you look like a lobster."
    "Oh no," I replied, "Am I burning?"
    She said, "No. Just very ugly."
  8. Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit? Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.
  9. I passed by a roadside stand that said "lobster tails: $2" So I stopped, paid my $2 and the man said,
    "Once upon a time, there was a lobster..."
  10. I was at a restaurant last night... and I asked the waiter "How do you prepare the lobster?" And he said "We just tell him the truth, man. This is the end of the line."

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Lobsters One Liners

Which lobsters one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lobsters? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. In which part of the bread factory do lobsters work? The crust station.
  2. I slept with a rich girl once. Got lobsters.
  3. I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving... One day I lobster and never flounder again.
  4. What's a lobster's favorite part of a build-your-own-pizza bar? The crust station.
  5. Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys? Because he was... shellfish.
    hahahaha
  6. Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish...
  7. Lobster tail and beer. My 3 favorite things.
  8. What do you call a lobster that won't share? Shellfish
  9. What do you call a territorial lobster? Shellfish.
  10. Why didn't the lobster want to share? Because he was shellfish
  11. I always say Lobsters are sketchy.... They are always getting caught Red-Handed. 🦞
  12. Dad joke alert: why didn't the crab and lobster get along? They were too shellfish.
  13. What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank? The lobsters in the kitchen.
  14. What's a let down Chinese lobster called? A crushed asian
  15. What do you get when a cow bangs a lobster? Surf-n-turf

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about lobsters can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of lobsters puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Lobsters Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about lobsters you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make lobsters prank.

What's the difference between a greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster?

One's a crusty bus station, the other is a b**... crustacean

Difference between Port Authority and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station...
The other's a b**... crustacean!

A man goes to a p**...

and later he finds out he has c**.... When he goes back to complain, the p**... says "It was only five dollars, what did you expect, lobster?"

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a voluptuous lobster?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a b**... crustacean.
:D

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a b**... crustacean.

A guest at a restaurant asks the waiter...

"do you have lobster tails?"
The waiter replies: "Of course! Once upon a time, there was a little lobster....."

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

"You're two shellfish."

What's the difference between a dilapidated bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

…One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a b**... crustacean!
(My husband groaned loudly when I told him this one, so I knew it was pretty good.)

A John gets c**... from a 10$ h**......

he goes back to complain, and the h**... tells him "what did you expect for 10$, lobster?"

What's the difference is between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy bus depot?

One is a b**... crustacean and the other is a crusty bus-station!
*edited because I s**... up my original punchline...

So I walked by a restaurant in Maine!

It had a sign up " Happy hour special:
Lobster tail and beer!"
I said to myself. Jesus, my three favorite things!

TIL the word "Muppet" is a combination of "marionette" and "puppet".

It's like how the word "mobster" is a combination of "man" and "lobster".

I was tanning on the beach with my son.

After a while, he looked at me and said, "You're look like a lobster."
"Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?" I asked.
He said, "No, you're just really ugly."

Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

The answer is (B) a flounder.
The other two are crushedAsians.

kids eat free today

Waiter: Can I take your order sir, kids eat free today.
Me: Oh, well in that case i'll just have a glass of water and my son will have the grilled lobster,a 15oz steak and a small bottle of champagne please.

A man goes to a $3 h**...

He contracted c**....
When he goes back to complain, the h**... laughs and says, "What do you expect for $3, a lobster?"

A man goes to a $10 h**... and gets c**...

He calls her out on it, and she replies, "I was only $10. What did you expect, lobster?"

I saw an expensive p**...

She gave me lobsters.

A crab, a lobster, a dolphin...

and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?
[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

Life is all about perspective

The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle!..to the lobsters...in the ships kitchen.

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

**c**... on your o**....**

Guy comes back the next day after seeing a 5$ h**.... "I have c**..."

It was 5$ did you expect lobster?

A man goes to a $5 lady of the night and he gets c**....

So the next day, he goes back to complain and the woman says 'Hey it was only $5, what did you expect? Lobster?

What's the difference between a $62 and a $285,000 h**...?

You'll get c**... from the cheap one, and lobsters from the other.

Why was Sean Connery giving away his lobster costume?

He was trying to be a little less shellfish.

Lobsters are greedy. They never give anything to charity. They're just shellfish.

But that's being too hard on them. Not everyone can afford to be a philanthropod.

What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws?

A crabomination

A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.

A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.
He has two in his boat when the police approach him.
The man claims he's not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he's just taking them for a swim.
"I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they come back to me."
So the police let him place the lobsters in the water and command the man to call them back.
"Call who back?"

A koala walks into a restaurant.

He says, "I'll have the minestrone."
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of chili.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of lobster bisque.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of gazpacho.
After a while the waitress says, "Wow, you must be hungry."
The koala answers, "No, I'm just a moresoupial."

I went to a Mary Poppins themed restaurant yesterday....

Super cauliflower cheese, lobster was atrocious.

So a guy orders a five dollar p**... and contracts c**... from her, the next day the man calls the agency to complain

The receptionist answers with For five dollars what did you expect, lobster?

Whats the difference between a greyhound station and a big titted lobster...

Ones a crusty bus station. The other is a b**... crustacean

First Date

A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne...the works. Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."

I asked my girlfriend if they serve whales at red lobster.

That way next time we go we know if we can bring her mother.

What's the difference between a double D lobster and a 50 year old bus depot?

...One's a crusty bus station and the other's a b**... crustacean

$5 h**...

A man goes to see a 5 dollar h**..., he does his business and the goes home. The next day he was furious, he got c**... from the h**.... He decides to go back to the h**... and complain.
Man: This is outrageous I pay you and I get c**...!!!
h**...: Well what did you expect for 5 dollars? Lobster?

A man visits a p**... who charges 20$ and ends up with c**... so he goes back and complains.

She replys: "It was only 20$. What were you expecting? Lobster?"

The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish.

So a guy buys a $5 h**........

They have s**... and the next day the guys realizes he has c**.... The guy goes back the next day to complain and demand a refund
The h**... goes "It was only $5, what did you expect? Lobster?"

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with t**...?

Ones a crusty bus station and the others a b**... crustacean.

Where do c**... and lobsters park their public transport vehicles?

At the Bustacean

A man goes to a $10 s**... worker and contracts c**....

When he goes back to complain, the s**... worker laughs and says, "What do you expect for ten dollars? Lobster?"

A man walks into a seafood restaurant and was told they had Lobster Tails on offer for $1.

They must be small," he says.
"No, they're normal size," replies the waitress.
"Well they're old then."
"Fresh today," she answers.
"Then I'll have one," says the man, smiling.
The waitress takes him to table and he sits down.
"Once upon a time," she begins, "There was a big red lobster ..."

I stopped at a roadside stand where a sign read "LOBSTER TAILS $5."

I paid my $5 and the guy said....
"Once upon a time, there was this lobster....."

Anniversary dinner

A husband takes his wife out to dinner for their anniversary. They both order lobster and a salad.
After a few bites of her salad the wife started holding her mouth as if in pain. The husband asks whats wrong? She said "This salad is extremely cold!" The husband replied "Of course, it's made with iceberg lettuce."

A guy goes to a five dollar lady of the night and he gets c**....

So the next day he goes back to complain.
And the woman says, "Hey, it was only five dollars. What did you expect, lobster?"

A guy asked a waiter "How do you prepare the lobster?"

and the waiter said, "We just flat out tell them that this is the end of the line."

I went to the beach yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign that said "Lobster Tails $1".

I thought that was a good deal, so I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."

Red Lobster cut me off the all-you-can-eat buffet after one plate!

Shellfish b**...!

What's the difference between the Grayhound depo and a lobster with t**...?

Ones a b**... crustacean and ones a crusty bus station.

What's the difference between an old bus terminal and a big boobed lobster?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a b**... crustacean

I asked my waiter for drawn butter with my lobster…

He said no. When I asked why not, he said he couldn't clarify.

Today I stopped at the road-side stall that said "Lobster Tails: $2"

So I paid my $2 and the guy goes "Once upon a time there was a lobster...."

Why won't a pair of lobsters share their best jokes with each other?

Because they are two shellfish

My 4 year old nieces jokes:

Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea w**....
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
What did the little flower say to the big flower?
Hi ya bud.
Knock knock.
Whose there?
Ice cream .
Ice cream who?
Ice cream so you can hear me!

I went to a Mary Poppins themed restaurant last night.

Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious!

c**...

A guy picks up a five-dollar h**... and gets the c**... from her. Seeing her the following week, he confronts her and says, "You gave me the c**...!" She replies, "What did you expect for five bucks, lobster?"

What's different between Red Lobster and Facebook ?

At Red Lobster, the servers are responding.

Did you hear about the lobster that got a job at pizza hut?

He's working in the crust station.

A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked a blonde waitress for a lobster tail.

She smiled sweetly and said, * Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster… *

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these lobsters jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.