Loans Jokes

What are some Loans jokes?

Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college.

I don't think I can ever repay you.

Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college.

I am forever in your debt.

Thank you banks

Thank you banks for the student loans, car loans and mortgages, which helped me survive my life.

I don't know if I can ever repay you.

Thanks, student loans, for getting me through school

I don't think I could ever repay you

Trump used to love the LGBTQ community...

Until he found out it doesn't stand for "Loans Given By The Qataris"

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail spam inbox

I find:

* 10 banks are giving me easy loans.

* I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.

* 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.

* 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.

* Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.

* 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

* And Approx 40-50 mails from different girls who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.

The Royal Honeymoon.

On the day of her wedding to Prince William, Catherine gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Catherine's feet are in agony.

The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear William say, "God, that was tight."

"There," whispers Camilla to the Prince Charles, "I told you she was a virgin."

Then, to their surprise, they hear William say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."

"That's my boy," says the Prince Charles. "Once an Etonian, always an Etonian."

I got my student loans down from 100k to 50k overnight with this super easy life hack.

Divorce

After years of hard work after college, I finally paid back my student loans.

I wish I can post this in a different sub.

Thank you student loans for helping me get through college and for all that you've done for me!

I don't know how I'll ever repay you.

A Frog goes into a bank to get a loan

He approaches the woman at the loan application desk and notes that her name tag reads: Patty Whack. The Frog says, "Excuse me, I'd like to apply for a loan." The woman, very surprised that a talking frog was in her bank immediately refuses, saying, "We only work with humans, no animals can get loans here....besides, you don't have any collateral." The Frog hurriedly pulls a little troll doll out of his pocket. "Yes I do! Take my Troll. She means the world to me." At this point the woman is upset and goes to the bank's President. "Sir, there is a frog outside trying to get a loan from us. He won't leave and he says this troll doll is enough collateral!" The President takes the doll, looks it over very carefully and says, "IT'S A KNICK KNACK, PATTY WHACK! NOW GIVE THE FROG A LOAN!"

I won't pay off my student loans until I'm an old man

Now that's what I call in-dentures servitude

Thank you so much student loans!

I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.

VERY SAD DAY.

A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying on his school loans. This just goes to show one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family. He really is a great guy and would have been a brilliant veterinarian.

So what if Jesus turned water into wine?

I turned student loans into Vodka.

^^^^Your ^^^^move ^^^^Jesus...

When I first got my student loans, I thought they were great.

Now, they're outstanding!

Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college.

How will I ever repay you?

A boomer, a millennial, and a Gen Z kid walk into a bar

They sit down at a table and order a bottle of whiskey. The boomer pours a tall glass for himself and says, "There ain't no social security left, so I'm pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!" Then, the millennial grabs the bottle an pours a medium sized glass and says, "I've got $100,000 in student loans and no one is hiring so I'M pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!" They both turn to the Gen Z kid and say "what about you? What are you drinking for?" The Gen Z kid holds up the empty bottle and says, "Nothing, you guys drank it all."

Hey cutie, are you the economy?

Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.

What do Americans with online student loans have in common with the French?

They've both signed away their future without Le Pen

What do you do with a Chemistry student after they die?

You sell their body to help pay off their student loans!

I really dont like paying interest on my student loans

I hate it on principle

What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

What do you call a well endowed midget who packages sub prime loans for mortgages

A big short

Why do we need to go to college?

Student: Why do we need to go to college?
Teacher: So we can get a high paying job
Student: Why do we need a high paying job
Teacher: So we can get lots of money
Student: Why do we need lots of money
Teacher: So we can pay off our college loans

What's the difference between back to school as a kid and back to school as an adult?

About 38k in loans.

Whenever I feel depressed in life. ..

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail inbox...

I find: 1) 10 banks are giving me easy loans.

2) I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.

3) 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.

4) 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.

5) 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

How many college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They are already screwed from student loans.

So I saw an ad near a bank for interest-free loans

I went inside to ask for one but no one gave a f\*\*\*

Get student loans so that you can go to college and get a job to pay off your student loans.

How to make Loans jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Loans to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Loans? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Loans pick up lines to share with friends.

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