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Loans Jokes

64 loans jokes and hilarious loans puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loans that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make light of your financial situation with our collection of clever loans jokes. From interest rates to scholarships, we offer up a variety of clever puns to make you smile. No matter the circumstances, our selection of financial jokes can help you make the best of your situation.

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Funniest Loans Short Jokes

Short loans jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loans humour may include short mortgage loan jokes also.

  1. When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
  2. Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.
  3. Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you.
  4. The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan.
  5. I loaned $200 to my girlfriend 5 years ago. She returned exactly $200 after we separated. I lost interest in that relationship
  6. Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face? Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.
  7. Thank you student loans for getting me through university... I don't think I could ever repay you
  8. I loaned a blind guy some money... It's ok though. He said he'd pay me back next time he saw me.
  9. Thank you banks Thank you banks for the student loans, car loans and mortgages, which helped me survive my life.
    I don't know if I can ever repay you.
  10. Shout out to my student loan for getting me through college. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.

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Loans One Liners

Which loans one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loans? I can suggest the ones about lending money and secured loan.

  1. Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I am forever in your debt.
  2. Thanks, student loans, for getting me through school I don't think I could ever repay you
  3. Are you a banker... because I want you to leave me a loan.
  4. Why was the mortgage sad? Because it was a loan.
  5. Are you a student loan? Cause I'd like to have you around for the rest of my life.
  6. I was so bad at math my bank refused to give me a loan Thank god I had someone to cosine
  7. My girlfriend must think I'm rich and dying She keeps telling me to leave her a loan
  8. To get a loan You need to prove that you don't need a loan
  9. Are you a bank? You need to leave me a loan.
  10. What do you call an actor who finished paying-off his house loan? Mortgage Freeman
  11. Did you hear about the cowboy who worked in a bank? He was the loan ranger.
  12. I loaned my friend $15K for plastic surgery... And now I don't know what he looks like.
  13. What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you? A buffa*loan.*
  14. What's the value of a cosigned loan? It depends on θ, but between -1 and 1.
  15. I was harassed in the bank... ...So I told them to leave me a loan

Student Loans Jokes

Here is a list of funny student loans jokes and even better student loans puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dear student loan, Thank you for saving my life. I can't think of how I can ever repay you.
  • I'd like to take a moment to say thank you student loans for getting me through college. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you.
  • I got my student loans down from 100k to 50k overnight with this super easy life hack. Divorce
  • What do you call a college student who joined the paratroopers to pay off his student loans? Debt from above.
  • After years of hard work after college, I finally paid back my student loans. I wish I can post this in a different sub.
  • Due to the size of my student loans for my phd I have debts no honest man could pay.... Luckily I'm a statistician.
  • This is a 'thank you' to my student loans for getting me through university! I don't think I can ever repay you.
  • Thank you student loans for helping me get through college and for all that you've done for me! I don't know how I'll ever repay you.
  • I won't pay off my student loans until I'm an old man Now that's what I call in-dentures servitude
  • Thank you so much student loans! I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.
Loans joke, Thank you so much student loans!

Playful Loans Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about loans you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bank loan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loans pranks.

Why do we need to go to college?

Student: Why do we need to go to college?
Teacher: So we can get a high paying job
Student: Why do we need a high paying job
Teacher: So we can get lots of money
Student: Why do we need lots of money
Teacher: So we can pay off our college loans

Whenever I feel depressed in life. ..

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail inbox...
I find: 1) 10 banks are giving me easy loans.
2) I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
3) 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.
4) 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.
5) 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

So what if Jesus turned water into wine?

I turned student loans into v**....
^^^^Your ^^^^move ^^^^Jesus...

What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into v**......

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail spam inbox

I find:
* 10 banks are giving me easy loans.
* I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
* 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.
* 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.
* Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.
* 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.
* And Approx 40-50 mails from different girls who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.

How many college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They are already s**... from student loans.

When I first got my student loans, I thought they were great.

Now, they're outstanding!

What do you call an actor who took out student loans?

Johnny Debt

student loans...

that's it, that's the joke.
It takes like 1000 years to pay off your debt. Longer than it took you to earn your degree.

What do Americans with online student loans have in common with the French?

They've both signed away their future without Le Pen

Trump used to love the LGBTQ community...

Until he found out it doesn't stand for "Loans Given By The Qataris"

What's the difference between back to school as a kid and back to school as an adult?

About 38k in loans.

What do you do with a Chemistry student after they die?

You sell their body to help pay off their student loans!

What do you call a well endowed midget who packages sub prime loans for mortgages

A big short

VERY SAD DAY.

A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying on his school loans. This just goes to show one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family. He really is a great guy and would have been a brilliant veterinarian.

I really dont like paying interest on my student loans

I hate it on principle

Hey cutie, are you the economy?

Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.

Post Malone Has Started His Own Student Loan Service in an Attempt to Lift the Burden Off of New Graduates

It's called " Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

What do you call a girl who sets fire to bank loans ?

Bernadette.

Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college.

How will I ever repay you?

Why is the SBA so slow at processing EIDL loans?

You try working in the dark and see how much you get accomplished.

Today is a VERY, VERY sad day.

VERY VERY VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 7 years of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He is still paying his school loans. This just goes to show you one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family.
He really is a great guy and a brilliant veterinarian.

The people that work at my bank are so nice!

Every time they call, they say my loans are outstanding!

The employees at my bank are soo nice these days!

Occasionally they would call me and remind me that my loans have been outstanding!

A horse walks into a bar.

"Why the long face?" the bartender asks...
"Haha," the horse replies, sarcastically, "Haven't heard that one before."
"Just got the news," the horse continues, "I've been accepted into college."
Bartender says, "That's great news! You should be celebrating."
"Yeah... now I'll be saddled with student loans."

Loans joke, A horse walks into a bar.

jokes about loans