The Best 62 Loads Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Loads jokes. There are some loads colt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these loads load shedding puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Loads Jokes and Puns
Did you guys hear about the gay truckers?
They traded loads
Art Thief
An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"
I'm not saying I hate you...
I'm not saying I hate you, but if I were locked in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and you, and I had 2 bullets, I would shoot Hitler and Bin Laden and then say loads of mean things about your mother.
Slogan idea for a Braille company
Loads of high quality Braille products,
many of which you've never seen before!
Chinese magican
Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
I was at a Real Ale festival the other day
and I got talking to a bloke who knew loads about beer, he was telling me about all the different aromas and brewing processes.
I said, "You sound like a connoisseur."
He said, "No, my name's Graham."
I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet"
It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
(England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)
Well it took four whole loads, but now my girlfriend is finally satisfied.
I hate it when she gets onto me about laundry.
Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat
So eat loads of sweets
and pass on those vegetables
What do landfills and hookers have in common?
Uncovered loads cost double
My girlfriend is a longshoreman and a prostitute.
I only get to see her between loads.
You can explore loads bethesda reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean loads chests dad jokes. There are also loads puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth.
Fang queue.
People say I've got no willpower
But I've quit smoking loads of times.
#BREAKING Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April
Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus.
What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?
A denom-nom-nominator!
My dentist isn't racist.
He has loads of plaque friends.
Mahatma Ghandi never wore shoes...
Gandhi never wore shoes, and so his feet were always covered in loads of callouses and blisters. And because he never ate food, he was always very frail. Furthermore his fasting caused him to have horrible breath. So...
I guess you could say he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
How come Landscapers have huge loads?
They are always edging.
Art Thief
A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mastermind replies with "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
What are prostitutes paid?
Loads
Why are modern computer processors idle most of the time?
The have loads of cache.
What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels?
A towel full of loads
A black man walked into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bar man asks, "Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?"
The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"
About the blind man that took up parachuting.
He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't.
My wife hates my huge loads.
She says I should split them in two or else it could break the washing machine.
Did you hear about the two gay truckers?
They exchanged loads
Yo momma is like cheap laundry detergent
Not as soft, doesn't smell as good, but gets way more loads
What do a pimp and a laundromat owner have in common?
They both worry about how many loads it takes to break even.
Went to my first baby shower today...
Took five loads on the face at once!!!
What do the US government have in common with firearm fetishists?
They both blow loads on ammunition.
An apple farmer opens his fridge and sees loads and loads of apples
"There's nothing to eat!", he muttered.
Wrinkle Cream
Son: "Dad...what's Mum putting on her face?"
Dad: "That's her Wrinkle Cream son."
Son: "Mum that cream is really working...you've got loads of wrinkles!"
My son wanted me to buy him GTA
When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"
He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf
I should really start donating to the local sperm bank
I've got loads to offer.
What do you call Scrooge when you catch him blowing loads of dudes?
Ebekneezhurt
My boss told me to make a PowerPoint presentation about water parks.
There's loads of slides.
Why does the Navy wear white?
It makes the loads of seamen harder to see
What takes more dark loads than a washing machine?
A Kardashian.
I've decided to open a laundry mat / brother
Bukakai Laundry: Many loads, one dollar.
I went train spotting for the first time
It was really easy. They are absolutely massive and make loads of noise.
For my birthday, I got loads of smiley face stickers, which I decided to send back to everyone.
Many happy returns.
I was injured the other day when loads of books fell on me.
I've only got my shelf to blame.
Did you hear about the World's Sexiest Sweaty Man?
He had loads of fangirls.
Ever since learning the meaning of the word exponentially my use of the word exponentially has increased
loads
Why are so many pornstars so rich?
They get paid loads.
I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet."
It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
[OC] My poor friend Dave got 3 wishes from a Genie today.
He always wanted loads of money, but instead he spoke to the Genie and said, "I wish for people to be uncertain. Secondly, I also wish to change my name."
I haven't seen him in a while but I think he's Rich now.
A girl was giving me
A girl was giving me a hand job last night.
You're really good at this, I said, what's your secret?
Years of practice, she giggled.
You've done this to loads of guys then? I asked.
No came the reply, my name used to be Derek.
My douchebag nephew puts on loads of deodorant and I have a hard time understanding him.
He has too strong of an axe scent.
My dog came up to me with loads of cerumen on his nose.
Ear boy.
People often tell me I have no willpower or self-control
Rubbish I say. I've quit smoking loads of times
Anyone want my old copies of Chiropractor Monthly?
I've got loads of back issues.
What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?
Ambu-Lance Armstrong
Why should you respect pornstars more than structural engineers?
Most pornstars I've seen are better at handling distributed loads.
Double standards are ridiculous
How is it that when sleeps with loads of women he's a stud, but when a woman does the same thing, she's a lesbian
I bumped into an old school friend the other day.
He seemed to be doing very well for himself, fancy clothes, new car. You could tell he was now very successful and wealthy.
I asked him how he had been doing and he said great, I've got loads of money, fancy cars and a big house.
I asked him how he came to be so rich and he replied I've been using animal carcasses and boiling them down to a concentrate and selling that for a profit. I've made a killing on the stocks market.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks where'd you get that? And the frog says in France. There's loads of them
My gaming friends told me if I posted here today I'd get loads of upvotes...
But the cake is a lie.
Its untrue that most women want to get married.
I've asked loads and they've all said no.
What do relationship advice and communist propaganda have in common?
There are loads of red flags involved.
Teach a man how to joke and he'll get 6 upvotes
Teach a man how to repost, and watch him get loads of awards
I put all my copies of Chiropractors Weekly on eBay
I have loads of back issues.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the loads galore jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working loads by the wagon load piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.