Loads Jokes

These are 63 loads jokes and hilarious loads puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loads that are good jokes for kids and friends.

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jokes about loads

Best Short Loads Jokes

These are our top loads puns. Have fun with a good loads joke in English with simple loads humour.

  1. What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
  2. My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!
  3. Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptop or something.
  4. I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet" It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
    (England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)
  5. Somebody just threw a load of Omega 3 pills at me... Don't worry though, I only suffered super fish oil injuries..
  6. Chinese magican Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?
    I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
  7. I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow... I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.
  8. I could see my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load last night... I could see it in her eyes.
  9. I met a frail old wizard. He had bad breath and loads of blisters. He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
  10. What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after
Loads joke, What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these loads jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of loads puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Loads One Liners

Which loads dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loads?

  1. What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15? A MAGAzine.
  2. Its untrue that most women want to get married. I've asked loads and they've all said no.
  3. I put a load in the dishwasher She swallowed.
  4. Dropped my phone in a load of mayo What the Hellmann
  5. A good Internet Explorer joke. [Long] Loading...
  6. What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty? Pessimist Prime
  7. Did you hear about the two gay truckers? They exchanged loads
  8. URGENT: HOW TO SAVE NET NEUTRALITY (PLEASE READ) Page loading...
  9. Yo mama so fat... It takes more than a single processor to load her chunks.
  10. 11% of my life has been spent watching things load 12%
  11. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.
  12. Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out.
  13. How to understand girls.... Loading...
  14. What do you call a gay load of bread? A faguette.
  15. what is it called when you load a baby into a gun? infantry

Loads joke, what is it called when you load a baby into a gun?

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Unearthly Funniest Loads Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about loads to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make loads prank.

Did you guys hear about the gay truckers?

They traded loads

Art Thief

An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"

I'm not saying I hate you...

I'm not saying I hate you, but if I were locked in a room with h**..., Bin Laden, and you, and I had 2 bullets, I would shoot h**... and Bin Laden and then say loads of mean things about your mother.

Slogan idea for a Braille company

Loads of high quality Braille products,
many of which you've never seen before!

Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat

So eat loads of sweets
and pass on those vegetables

Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth.

Fang queue.

People say I've got no willpower

But I've quit smoking loads of times.

#‎BREAKING‬ Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April

Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus.

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

My dentist isn't racist.

He has loads of plaque friends.

Mahatma Ghandi never wore shoes...

Gandhi never wore shoes, and so his feet were always covered in loads of callouses and blisters. And because he never ate food, he was always very frail. Furthermore his fasting caused him to have horrible breath. So...
I guess you could say he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

How come Landscapers have huge loads?

They are always edging.

Art Thief

A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mastermind replies with "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

What are prostitutes paid?

Loads

What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels?

A towel full of loads

A black man walked into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bar man asks, "Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?"
The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

About the blind man that took up parachuting.

He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't.

Yo momma is like cheap laundry detergent

Not as soft, doesn't smell as good, but gets way more loads

What do a p**... and a laundromat owner have in common?

They both worry about how many loads it takes to break even.

Went to my first baby shower today...

Took five loads on the face at once!!!

Wrinkle Cream

Son: "Dad...what's Mum putting on her face?"
Dad: "That's her Wrinkle Cream son."
Son: "Mum that cream is really working...you've got loads of wrinkles!"

My son wanted me to buy him GTA

When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"
He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf

I should really start donating to the local s**... bank

I've got loads to offer.

What do you call Scrooge when you catch him blowing loads of dudes?

Ebekneezhurt

My boss told me to make a PowerPoint presentation about water parks.

There's loads of slides.

I've decided to open a laundry mat / brother

Bukakai Laundry: Many loads, one dollar.

For my birthday, I got loads of smiley face stickers, which I decided to send back to everyone.

Many happy returns.

I was injured the other day when loads of books fell on me.

I've only got my shelf to blame.

Ever since learning the meaning of the word exponentially my use of the word exponentially has increased

loads

Why are so many pornstars so rich?

They get paid loads.

I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet."

It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!

[OC] My poor friend Dave got 3 wishes from a Genie today.

He always wanted loads of money, but instead he spoke to the Genie and said, "I wish for people to be uncertain. Secondly, I also wish to change my name."
I haven't seen him in a while but I think he's Rich now.

A girl was giving me

A girl was giving me a h**... last night.
You're really good at this, I said, what's your secret?
Years of practice, she giggled.
You've done this to loads of guys then? I asked.
No came the reply, my name used to be Derek.

My d**... nephew puts on loads of deodorant and I have a hard time understanding him.

He has too strong of an axe scent.

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

Why should you respect pornstars more than structural engineers?

Most pornstars I've seen are better at handling distributed loads.

Double standards are ridiculous

How is it that when sleeps with loads of women he's a stud, but when a woman does the same thing, she's a lesbian

I bumped into an old school friend the other day.

He seemed to be doing very well for himself, fancy clothes, new car. You could tell he was now very successful and wealthy.
I asked him how he had been doing and he said great, I've got loads of money, fancy cars and a big house.
I asked him how he came to be so rich and he replied I've been using animal carcasses and boiling them down to a concentrate and selling that for a profit. I've made a killing on the stocks market.

French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head

The bartender asks where'd you get that? And the frog says in France. There's loads of them

My gaming friends told me if I posted here today I'd get loads of upvotes...

But the cake is a lie.

What do relationship advice and communist p**... have in common?

There are loads of red flags involved.

Teach a man how to joke and he'll get 6 upvotes

Teach a man how to repost, and watch him get loads of awards

I put all my copies of Chiropractors Weekly on eBay

I have loads of back issues.

My friend asked for help with a crossword:

Friend: 4 down - Busy postman
Me: How many letters?
Friend: Loads, I guess

There are loads of jokes about white sugar, but the ones about brown sugar…

demerara

t**... isn't a good name for a c**....

Didn't the real t**... horse burst and loads of little guys came pouring out of it?

So my dad died last year

We were in a car accident and my dad lost loads of blood. EMT came onto the scene but nobody could remember what his blood type is in time for them to give him a transfusion.
Even as he died, Dad kept telling us to "Be positive" but it's hard without you here Dad. Hope you're in a better place.

Wedding night confessions

Husband: Honey I have to confess, I've slept with loads of prostitutes before I met you!
Wife: I just knew l'd seen you somewhere before!!

A man walks into a rough pub near Glasgow docks...

..."here, lads, there's been a big department store fire in town, loads of stock's been written off, I can sort you out with a few things, if you'd like, what're you after?"
After doing the rounds and taking orders for various items of clothing, and even a few bigger items, someone up the back of the pub pipes up, "here, I didn't see anything about a big fire on the news, when was it?"
"Tomorrow".

Man walks into a Pharmacy

"Can I buy some silicon dioxide?"
"Sorry sir, we don't sell that."
"But you have loads in the window."

I went for an audition at a talent agency today.

They asked "so what's your special talent?"
I said "I do bird impressions!"
They said "sorry, that's not original we have had loads of them!"
I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window.

A young lad sees the Director of the company he works at park up in a brand new Aston Martin.

'Nice car' says the lad.
The Director looks at him coolly on the eye and says 'See this lad, if you work hard, do loads of unpaid hours and consistently exceed your punishing sales targets, well lad, this time next year ...... I can buy another one.'

I work at a laundromat

It's always loads of fun.

Never date someone that loads and unloads airplanes for a living

They have so much baggage

My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel.

Luckily we still won on aggregate.

You can never just do a little laundry.

You always have to do loads of it.
Just came up with this while doing laundry. I'm sure it's not original though.

A doctor specializing in circumcision is about to retire...

Over the years he has kept all the foreskins and approaches a leather smith to see if he can make them into something.
A few weeks later the leather smith delivers a small wallet to the doctor, the doctor is confused saying "I gave you loads of foreskins and you only made this tiny wallet?"
The leather smith replies with "ah you see, if you rub it the right way it turns into a briefcase"

Apparently loads of people turned away from voting for Trump coz he wanted to ban shredded cheese

He wanted to Make America Grate again.

Loads joke, Apparently loads of people turned away from voting for Trump coz he wanted to ban shredded cheese

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these loads jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.

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