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Loading Jokes

68 loading jokes and hilarious loading puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loading that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

The perfect way to pass the time while waiting for your browser to load or slow dishwasher to finish is with a few jokes! This article will provide a list of hilarious jokes about loading screens, loading artist, carb loading and load shedding. Get ready to laugh - it may be a while before everything is loaded up!

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Funniest Loading Short Jokes

Short loading jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loading humour may include short loaded jokes also.

  1. What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
  2. My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!
  3. Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptop or something.
  4. I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet" It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
    (England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)
  5. Somebody just threw a load of Omega 3 pills at me... Don't worry though, I only suffered super fish oil injuries..
  6. Chinese magican Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?
    I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
  7. I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow... I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.
  8. I wanted to become a professional sperm donor I already had my slogan ready: "Wait till you get a load of this guy!"
  9. I could see my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load last night... I could see it in her eyes.
  10. I met a frail old wizard. He had bad breath and loads of blisters. He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Loading One Liners

Which loading one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loading? I can suggest the ones about reload and laden.

  1. What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15? A MAGAzine.
  2. Its untrue that most women want to get married. I've asked loads and they've all said no.
  3. I put a load in the dishwasher She swallowed.
  4. Dropped my phone in a load of mayo What the Hellmann
  5. A good Internet Explorer joke. [Long] Loading...
  6. What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty? Pessimist Prime
  7. Did you hear about the two gay truckers? They exchanged loads
  8. URGENT: HOW TO SAVE NET NEUTRALITY (PLEASE READ) Page loading...
  9. Yo mama so fat... It takes more than a single processor to load her chunks.
  10. What is a snowman's favorite winter solstice song? "Frosty the Loaded Thermometer."
  11. 11% of my life has been spent watching things load 12%
  12. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.
  13. Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out.
  14. How to understand girls.... Loading...
  15. What do you call a gay load of bread? A faguette.

Loading The Dishwasher Jokes

Here is a list of funny loading the dishwasher jokes and even better loading the dishwasher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Girl are you a dishwasher? Because I would like to fill you with my dirty load in the evening, turn you on, and fall asleep before you finish
  • Last September my wife asked me to put a load in the dishwasher. So long story short, happy fathers day to me.
  • Finished putting a load in the dishwasher when I thought to myself.. She's on the pill right?
  • Over a year ago, I left a full load in my friends dishwasher when I stayed at his home. Lucky me, he's the father.
  • She was amazing, she always took my load so well I can't believe that dishwasher broke.
  • My wife was happy to hear I'd put a load in the dishwasher. until 9 months later.
  • I don't understand... My wife keeps telling me to load the dishwasher... Then she gets mad when I pour her a double...
  • Whats the difference between your mom and my dishwasher? My dishwasher doesnt follow me around for two weeks after I put a load in it.
  • I finally figured out how to perfectly load the dishwasher Just leave all the dirty dishes out until someone else does it
  • What cleans the dishes, spends most of its life in the kitchen and occasionally takes a load from the husband... A dishwasher

Loading Screen Jokes

Here is a list of funny loading screen jokes and even better loading screen puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Car rides and plane rides are just like video game loading screens if you think about it. Most of the time they both take way too long.
  • I was told water cooling a computer would make it faster So I threw my laptop into a pool, and now I never have to see a loading screen again!
  • My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen. I was repeatedly tricked into thinking there was a connection
Loading joke, My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen.

Loading joke, My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen.

Quirky and Hilarious Loading Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about loading you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lifting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loading pranks.

Two r**... flew to Canada on a hunting trip.


They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.

They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.

The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the two r**... survived the
c**....

After climbing out of the wreckage, Billy Ray asked Billy Bob, "Any idea where we
are?"

Billy Bob replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

So people are loading into an airplane

And the pilot of this airplane is blind. At the end of the take off s**... is a huge lake. All the people on the plane are relaxing reading books and talking to each other as the airplane starts to roll down the s**.... A few people see that they are heading towards a lake but they assume the pilot knows what he's doing. The airplane is going dangerously close to the lake and the plane is still not taking off, at this point people are starting panic. The plane is still not taking off and it's way too close to the lake. At this point everyone on the plane is screaming and yelling because the plane is about to plunge into the lake at the end of the s**.... The plane is about 10 feet away from the lake then it lifts off the ground and takes off. The passengers calm down slowly and return to reading and talking . In the front of the plane the pilot laughs to himself and mumbles "one of these days the passengers won't scream and we'll all die."

Polish Moose Hunt

Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both. And he had exactly the same airplane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.
However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**.... After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

So a woman is at a supermarket...

She is loading all her items on the conveyer belt for the chasier to scan.
Her items are; A litre of milk, a carton of eggs, and a head of lettuce.
The cashier looks at her and says, "Are you single?"
The customer, shocked at her assumption says, "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."

My internet is so slow...

Loading...

the secret to life

loading...

How do you keep an idiot busy?

loading...

What did the guy with bad internet get?

Loading...

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

Loading...

How do you keep a fool in suspense?

Loading...

What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading?

He gives it an F5

A Pirate's Life

A pirate goes into a bar and sits down.
The bartender says:
"Wow, you look like you've had a long life. Tell me about it. How did you get your wooden leg?"
" Arrr.... me ship capsized and a shark bit me leg off. Then while loading a canon it blew me hand clean off".
"What about the eye-patch?".
"I happened to look up when a gull flying overhead crapped on me eye".
"Well, that doesn't qualify an eye patch, now does it?"
"Arrrgh, it was the first day I got me hook".

Gun loading announcement...

Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun.
But I never got the bulletin.

So a sexist man is having s**... with another mans wife...

The husband comes home from work and sees this man drilling his wife on the kitchen counter.
The man says, "Oh hey Paul, I'm just loading the dishwasher!"

What do a loading bar and my girlfriend have in common?

Both equally inefficient at letting me know when they are actually ready.

Got this new game today called "Real Life"

Tried to login as a female in the china server but it always crashes on the loading sceen

Job Security

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired by a warehouse.
One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.
Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the repairs.
"How much will it cost?" asked Joe.
"About $5,500," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Joe. "I've finally got job security!"

I found a website for broken guns.

It's not loading!

My girlfriend said she wanted a puppy for her birthday so I got her one.

The next day she saw me loading it into the back of my car and said, "Hey. Where are you going?"
I said, "I'm sending him back."
"Sending him back!" she yelled. "Why?"
I said, "It's not your birthday any more."

The FCC walks into a bar

We still don't know what happened. It's been loading for five hours

What do you get when you repeal net neutrality?

[punchline loading, please wait]

You know when you're a r**......

When loading the dish washer means getting your wife drunk.

I keep loading paper into my printer but it keeps saying "I just can't get enough"

I think it's stuck in Depeche Mode.

A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...

A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"
The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."

A new shipment of dark blue shirts arrived at the loading dock at work today.

My coworker and I checked the boxes and the shirts felt differently so we started asking questions like, what distributors is this? and who makes it? . Finally after a lot of questions we ask from who? . The delivery driver looks at us and shouts Scan the Navy in!

I hate when I turn on my computer at work

And it says loading your personal settings.
I'm like "Woah, this is strictly a professional relationship".

A clergyman was walking and saw a farmer loading hay and struggling with the work.

"you look tired son,take a rest" he said.
No,my father would hate that" he replied
"Don't be silly, everyone needs a break sometimes. Come take some cold water" the clergyman replies.
Again the farmer declined. This continues for about two minutes, until the clergyman says "your father must be a s**... driver. Tell me where he is so I can give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well", says the farmer," he's under the hay"

An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.
He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.
"Did you see my face?"
"Yes"
BANG, he shoots him.
He then points it at the second guy.
"Did you see my face?"
The second guy points at a woman sitting far off in the reception area.
"No, but my wife did!"

What do you call someone with bad internet?

Loading...

I made a website for orphans

But its homepage is not loading....

Corny joke from a warehouse worker.

Was loading semi trailers and it was raining like h**.... Asked my team lead to step inside a trailer with me.
"Hey Billy, I keep hearing a weird noise every time I step in a trailer."
"What's it sound like?"
(While pointing at the roof) "It sounds like autotune."
"Autotune?"
"Yeah, it's just a Lil Wayne."

An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.
He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.
"Did you see my face?"
"Yes"
BANG, he shoots him.
He then points it at the second guy.
"Did you see my face?"
The second guy points at a woman sitting far off in the reception area.
"No, but my mother in law did!"

I tried pigeon shooting.

But I had a hard time loading them into my gun.

First day as an undertaker

A brand new undertaker walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How was the first day on the job?" the bartender asks. "Not good. Had my first f**... today and I managed to drop the casket as I was loading it into the car," the undertaker says. "Luckily my boss was understanding. He told me I just need to rehearse it."

Loading joke, A good Internet Explorer joke. [Long]

jokes about loading