The Best 71 Load Jokes

Following is our collection of Load jokes which are very funny. There are some load washer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these load load shedding puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Load Jokes and Puns

I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward

The state trooper is driving down the highway when...

he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times, and then drive away. Two miles down the road he does the same thing. Another two miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the truck driver to explain and the driver says "The load limit is ten tons, and I'm carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I've got to keep some of them flying around."

Load joke, The state trooper is driving down the highway when...

what do you do with someone that is having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime


A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway...

... he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " Why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself?".
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Facebook

So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook.
It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...

Load joke, Facebook

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Blind pilots

A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.

As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.

In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it.

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins.

What a turtle disaster.

You can explore load reload reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean load laden dad jokes. There are also load puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A caring son

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "

"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "

"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "

"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "

"Under the wagon. "

Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks...

...one of them was charged, and the other was let off.

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

Why don't trucking companies like to hire women?

Every time you give them a load, it takes them 9 months to deliver.

Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes.

It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.

Load joke, Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes.

The whole "Pavlov's Dog Experiment" is such a load of bunk I'm sick of people bringing it up...

...at this point just *hearing* the name "Pavlov" makes me mad.

I was almost in a devil's threesome once, but at the last minute the other guy backed out. So i looked at the girl and said...

"Well that's a load off your back"

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.


My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher...

Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!

A man walks into a sperm bank,

The lady at the desk says,

"Get a load of this guy."

Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey.

Gonna call it: "Get a load of this guy over here!".

Someone told me flowers had sex organs...

....what a load of Poppycock!

I've become quite independent since my wife left...

I just put my second load of washing through the microwave.

A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...

The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.

The Russian takes a case of fine Vodka, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."

Seeing the Russian's generous gesture, the Syrian takes a bag of fine hibiscus tea, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty in my country."

Finally, the German, seeing that it is his turn, throws the Syrian overboard and says, "We have plenty of those in my country."

My girlfriend and I use "laundry" as a code-word for sex.

Her dad asked me why I couldn't do the laundry by myself so I told him "it's a big load".

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

Girl are you a dishwasher?

Because I would like to fill you with my dirty load in the evening, turn you on, and fall asleep before you finish

Gun loading announcement...

Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun.

But I never got the bulletin.

Put a load in the dishwasher last night

She was mad I didn't pull out.

I bought a racehorse today

and I named him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

What is the difference between women and washing machines?

Washing machines don't follow you around for weeks after you drop a load in them.

I could see my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load last night...

I could see it in her eyes.

11% of my life has been spent watching things load

12%

[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

I'm going to open a sperm bank.

I'll call it "Get a load of that guy"

I'm thinking of opening a sperm bank and calling it...

"Get a load of this guy"

I got fired from my job at the sperm bank

I said "Get a load of this guy," every time someone walked in.

Young couple codewords

The bashfull newlyweds decided to talk about "laundry" when one was interested in sex. A Year later, when the new was off, the Husband asked "do you want to help me do the laundry tonight?"
Wife: "No, I am too tired".
The next night: "I have a headache". Next
On the following night: "I just don't feel like it".
Finally wife says: "How about doing the Laundry tonight".
Hubby's reply: "No worries, Dear, it was just a small load and I did it by hand!"

A mother cleaning her 12 year old's bedroom

A mum is cleaning her 12year old son's bedroom and finds a load of bondage gears and fetish magazines.

She asks her husband, "What do I do?"

He says, "I'm not sure, but whatever you do, don't spank him!"

I put a load in the dishwasher

She swallowed.

Dropped my phone in a load of mayo

What the Hellmann

What do you call a gay load of bread?

A faguette.

Somebody just threw a load of Omega 3 pills at me...

Don't worry though, I only suffered super fish oil injuries..

Husband and wife decide to make a password...

...for sex,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.

A girl told me to blow my load on her face...

But when I tried, it just dribbled out and she started laughing.

I said "Hey! Don't make fun of my shortcomings."

I just ate a load of scrabble tiles.

Now I'm terrified my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster.

I just put C4 in my washer

And blew my load

Yo mama so fat...

It takes more than a single processor to load her chunks.

Why can't you send sailors through the mail?

You try explaining to the postman why you have a load of seamen for him.

Are you a washing machine?

Because I wanna fill you with my dirty load.

I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.

"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"

Revitalized, we picked up the pace.

"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point any minute now."

I opened my birthday card and a load of rice fell out

I know exactly who sent it. It was my Uncle Ben.

I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday.

I kept saying, "Get a load of this guy!", when someone walked in.

What's the difference between a 15-year old and a washing machine?

When i throw a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week saying it loves me.

I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder

So I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people

I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow...

I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.

She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.

At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."

He ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

Over a year ago, I left a full load in my friends dishwasher when I stayed at his home.

Lucky me, he's the father.

Finished putting a load in the dishwasher when I thought to myself..

She's on the pill right?

Sperm banks be like:

Get a load of this guy

Last September my wife asked me to put a load in the dishwasher.

So long story short, happy fathers day to me.

I went to a spiritual healer last night... what a load of rubbish

Even the guy in the wheelchair got up and walked out

A bus full of Catholics and a coach load of Jews all arrive at the same church

There was mass confusion.

Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently they were mad at me for saying Get a load of this guy every time someone walked in.

What does a prostitute and a laundromat have in common?

If you run out of time you will need more change to finish your load.

I always keep a loaded gun on my night stand in case there's an intruder

That way, I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.

Apparently the police have been going to a load of house parties as lockdown rules are getting implemented.

Ridiculous, one rule for us and another for them.

I got fired from the Sperm Bank today.

Every time a man walked in I'd say Get a load of this guy .

Final words

A man is holding his wife's hand as shes lying on her death-bed.
"Jerry , I have something to tell you before I pass on," she whispers."
"No, no, dear," says Jerry. "Everything is forgiven now. All is well."
"No Jerry" she mumbles." I've been carrying this load for years now, and I must tell you. I... I've been unfaithful to you. I slept with your best friend, Phil. I'm so terribly sorry."
"Yes,dear I know," Says Jerry. "Why do you think I poisoned you?"

What's the difference between your washing machine and your wife

You don't have to say I love you every time you put a load in the washing machine

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the load hamburg jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working load by the wagon load piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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