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Load Jokes

163 load jokes and hilarious load puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about load that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article looks at the various types of 'loads' which have become part of everyday language. We explore each of these to understand the origin and meanings of these phrases, including lorry load, oversize load, wide load, shed load, truckload, pile, and reload. Read on to find out more!

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Funniest Load Short Jokes

Short load jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The load humour may include short laden jokes also.

  1. What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
  2. My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!
  3. Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptop or something.
  4. I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet" It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
    (England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)
  5. Somebody just threw a load of Omega 3 pills at me... Don't worry though, I only suffered super fish oil injuries..
  6. Chinese magican Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?
    I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
  7. I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow... I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.
  8. I wanted to become a professional sperm donor I already had my slogan ready: "Wait till you get a load of this guy!"
  9. I could see my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load last night... I could see it in her eyes.
  10. I met a frail old wizard. He had bad breath and loads of blisters. He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Load One Liners

Which load one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with load? I can suggest the ones about fetch and lift.

  1. What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15? A MAGAzine.
  2. Its untrue that most women want to get married. I've asked loads and they've all said no.
  3. I put a load in the dishwasher She swallowed.
  4. Dropped my phone in a load of mayo What the Hellmann
  5. A good Internet Explorer joke. [Long] Loading...
  6. What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty? Pessimist Prime
  7. Did you hear about the two gay truckers? They exchanged loads
  8. URGENT: HOW TO SAVE NET NEUTRALITY (PLEASE READ) Page loading...
  9. Yo mama so fat... It takes more than a single processor to load her chunks.
  10. What is a snowman's favorite winter solstice song? "Frosty the Loaded Thermometer."
  11. 11% of my life has been spent watching things load 12%
  12. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.
  13. Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out.
  14. How to understand girls.... Loading...
  15. What do you call a gay load of bread? A faguette.

Down Load Jokes

Here is a list of funny down load jokes and even better down load puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after
  • You can never just do a little laundry. You always have to do loads of it.
    Just came up with this while doing laundry. I'm sure it's not original though.
  • It's statistically proven that having a ladder in your home is more dangerous than a loaded gun that's why I have 12 guns in case some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here
  • Girl are you a dishwasher? Because I would like to fill you with my dirty load in the evening, turn you on, and fall asleep before you finish
  • A truck loaded with Vicks vaporub overturned on the highway amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
  • Teach a man how to joke and he'll get 6 upvotes Teach a man how to repost, and watch him get loads of awards
  • Why don't trucking companies like to hire women? Every time you give them a load, it takes them 9 months to deliver.
  • A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours.
  • Three old women sneak some Jack Daniels into a baseball game, taking shots after each half inning. What inning is it now? It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.
  • Facebook So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook.
    It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...

Lorry Load Jokes

Here is a list of funny lorry load jokes and even better lorry load puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • News just in, a lorry carrying onions has sheded its load all over the M1 motorway. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on
  • A lorry load of wigs has been stolen from down town. Police are combing the area.
  • Load of animals in the back of a lorry.. The cow says "mooooooooove over"
    The chicken says "fkaaaf"
  • A lorry carrying a load of tortoises crashed though a railway crossing into a train full of terrapins . What a turtle disaster .
  • A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way. The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.
Load joke, A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it'

Wide Load Jokes

Here is a list of funny wide load jokes and even better wide load puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does your mom and a truck have in common. They both carry a wide load.
  • You know you're a r**... if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

By The Wagon Load Jokes

Here is a list of funny by the wagon load jokes and even better by the wagon load puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A large wagon contaning menthol mints has crashed and shed it's load over the highway. Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 4 miles.
Load joke, A large wagon contaning menthol mints has crashed and shed it's load over the highway.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about load can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of load puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comedy Load Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about load you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean dump jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make load prank.

I got fired from the s**... bank yesterday

Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward

The state trooper is driving down the highway when...

he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times, and then drive away. Two miles down the road he does the same thing. Another two miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the truck driver to explain and the driver says "The load limit is ten tons, and I'm carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I've got to keep some of them flying around."

what do you do with someone that is having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway...

... he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " Why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself?".
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Blind pilots

A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.
As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.
In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it.

A caring son

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "

I hide my condoms in a box of Nyquil...

...if I use either, I'll blow a load and be asleep in 10 minutes.

Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks...

...one of them was charged, and the other was let off.

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

The whole "Pavlov's Dog Experiment" is such a load of bunk I'm sick of people bringing it up...

...at this point just *hearing* the name "Pavlov" makes me mad.

I was almost in a devil's t**... once, but at the last minute the other guy backed out. So i looked at the girl and said...

"Well that's a load off your back"

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

A man walks into a s**... bank,

The lady at the desk says,
"Get a load of this guy."

Thinking about opening up a s**... bank in New Jersey.

Gonna call it: "Get a load of this guy over here!".

Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth.

Fang queue.

Someone told me flowers had s**... organs...

....what a load of Poppycock!

Why do woman make terrible truck drivers?

Because you give them one good load and it takes them nine months to deliver.

I've become quite independent since my wife left...

I just put my second load of washing through the microwave.

What did she say while cleaning herself after s**...?

Well, that's a load off my shoulder

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a toilet

The toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you dump a load in it.

A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...

The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.
The Russian takes a case of fine v**..., throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
Seeing the Russian's generous gesture, the Syrian takes a bag of fine hibiscus tea, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty in my country."
Finally, the German, seeing that it is his turn, throws the Syrian overboard and says, "We have plenty of those in my country."

My girlfriend and I use "laundry" as a code-word for s**....

Her dad asked me why I couldn't do the laundry by myself so I told him "it's a big load".

I don't understand... My wife keeps telling me to load the dishwasher...

Then she gets mad when I pour her a double...

A student calls his college to enrol in a calculus course...

A student calls his college and says "I want to take calculus, but the system won't let me enrol". The woman on the other line looks at his record and says: "it looks like you're already taking a full course load! don't you know what the limit is?", to which he replies:
"That's what I'm trying to find!"

What did Dorothy do to the mean Asian Munchkin?

She swallowed the yellow p**...'s load.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

Gun loading announcement...

Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun.
But I never got the bulletin.

I bought a racehorse today

and I named him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh t**... shouting, "Come on My Face."

[True Story]: I was following a semi-truck full of coffins...

I tried to get as close as possible to read the bumper sticker on the back. When I could finally see the writing, it read "Drive safely. Yours may be on this load."

What is the difference between women and washing machines?

Washing machines don't follow you around for weeks after you drop a load in them.

I'm going to open a s**... bank.

I'll call it "Get a load of that guy"

Doing laundry is a lot like m**...

the longer I wait the larger my load

I'm thinking of opening a s**... bank and calling it...

"Get a load of this guy"

I got fired from my job at the s**... bank

I said "Get a load of this guy," every time someone walked in.

Young couple codewords

The bashfull newlyweds decided to talk about "laundry" when one was interested in s**.... A Year later, when the new was off, the Husband asked "do you want to help me do the laundry tonight?"
Wife: "No, I am too tired".
The next night: "I have a headache". Next
On the following night: "I just don't feel like it".
Finally wife says: "How about doing the Laundry tonight".
Hubby's reply: "No worries, Dear, it was just a small load and I did it by hand!"

A mother cleaning her 12 year old's bedroom

A mum is cleaning her 12year old son's bedroom and finds a load of b**... gears and f**... magazines.
She asks her husband, "What do I do?"
He says, "I'm not sure, but whatever you do, don't s**... him!"

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

A man and his wife were thinking of a code name for when, when they're around their kids.

The husband says, "let's call it laundry."
His wife replies, "why laundry?"
Husband says, "Because if it's a small load. I can do it by hand."

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.

A little boy playing in front of his house saw him and called,
What've you got in your truck?
Fertilizer, the farmer replied.
What are you going to do with it? asked the little boy.
Put it on strawberries, answered the farmer.
You ought to live here, the little boy advised him. We put sugar and cream on ours!

My wife was happy to hear I'd put a load in the dishwasher.

until 9 months later.

I was at McDonalds earlier today, just chilling when a really hot, girl walked up to me.

She grabbed me and took me to her car. She ripped my clothes off and starts s**... me as if she's dying of thirst. She s**... long and slobbery and I let out a huge load. She looked up with the face of satisfaction.
Then I realised I'm a straw.

Husband and wife decide to make a password...

...for s**...,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.

A girl told me to blow my load on her face...

But when I tried, it just dribbled out and she started laughing.
I said "Hey! Don't make fun of my shortcomings."

On the train today, the guy next to me starts jerking off, and says he's going to blow his load all over my left arm

I said, "Sorry buddy, not on MY watch."

I just ate a load of scrabble tiles.

Now I'm terrified my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster.

I just put C4 in my washer

And blew my load

Why can't you send sailors through the mail?

You try explaining to the postman why you have a load of s**... for him.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't keep calling you after you dump your load in it

My wife shouted at me...

You're so useless! You never tidy up or help with the housework, you're lazy and s**... and I bet you don't even know how to keep a house tidy!
I decided to prove her wrong so I did the washing up, ha! You should have seen her face when I showed her I knew how to load the dishes into the tumble dryer...

Are you a washing machine?

Because I wanna fill you with my dirty load.

She was amazing, she always took my load so well

I can't believe that dishwasher broke.

I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.
"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"
Revitalized, we picked up the pace.
"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point any minute now."

Old washing machine

Husband is walking behind his wife and says, Your bottom is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine.
The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.
Bedtime comes round and the husband starts getting amorous.
Wife says, I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!

I opened my birthday card and a load of rice fell out

I know exactly who sent it. It was my Uncle Ben.

I got fired from the s**... bank yesterday.

I kept saying, "Get a load of this guy!", when someone walked in.

What's the difference between a 15-year old and a washing machine?

When i throw a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week saying it loves me.

I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder

So I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people

Husband comes home to his wife putting a load into the dishwasher

Husband: "Hey Honey, what are you doing?"
Wife: "Just putting a load into the dishwasher, how about you?"
Husband: "Trying to put a load into the dishwasher."

So I just found a load of clay in my back yard...

Didn't know what to make of it.

Load joke, So I just found a load of clay in my back yard...

jokes about load

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these load jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.