lmao Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious lmao puns

Can?

Doctor: Make sure when you address me, you say 'can' first.

Patient: Can sir?

Doctor: Lmao got em. You have cancer.

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Personally, I'm fed up with LOL, ROFL, and LMAO.

I say we ban all acronyms in the U.S.A.

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How do Chinese people laugh?

LMAO ZEDONG!

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Best cat jokes lmao

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.

Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.

What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap.

Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!

How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.

How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.

What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.

If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.

What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!

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Boss just installed watsapp.

My boss just installed watsapp and texted me:


Boss: Hey, send me some jokes or something.


ME: Ok boss but please first tell when will I get a rise.


Boss: LMAO Nice one send more.

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What do you call a laughing monk?

Dalai Lmao.

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My last too brain cells trying to have a conversation lmao

Now there's won.

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My dad had a college teacher that told the same joke every day...

At the start of every day he would say (in a heavy af accent), "hello my name is Mr Habawidishco and I'm from turkey........ BUT I AM NOT ONE" then he would just die of laughter.. Every fucking day lmao

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Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman - slide

There is an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman. A genie tells them that they can go down the slide. When they do, whatever they call out they will land in at the bottom.

The Scotsman goes down the slide and shouts Silver and lands in a pile of silver

The Irishman goes down the slide and shouts Gold and lands in a pile of gold

The Englishman goes down the slide and shouts weeeeee ....

Thanks for letting me waste your time lmao

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My boss texted me...

My boss texted me: "Send me one of your funny jokes"


I replied: "I will send you one l8r, I'm working right now"


He replied: "LMAO, send me another one!"

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China has introduced more stringent censorship policies on the internet

Chinese citizens will now no longer be able to indicate merriment using lol on WeChat, they must now compulsorily use lmao, or roflmao as a tribute to communist heritage.

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What's the funniest condiment?

Lmao

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If a friend tells you a half-assed joke that's not worthy of an LMAO, give them a LOCO - laughing one cheek off

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What did the alien say when he landed in Canada?

Eh lmao

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Why are console games so much fun?

Because you press Ayy, lmao.

^^^What ^^^am ^^^I ^^^doing ^^^with ^^^my ^^^life...

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What do Canadian aliens say all the time?

ehh lmao

I'm actually Canadian meself...

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My friends bakery burnt down...

It was toast =D lmao

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What do Canadian Aliens say?

Ehhh lmao

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Two alien forms are speaking to each other

Ayy lmao

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lmao funny

What did the runner say to the wave?
nothing

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What do you call a Chinese guy when he's laughing?

Lmao

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What did Santa say to the troll?

sleigh lmao

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RED, WHITE, AND BLUE,

More like hepatitis type 2 ayyy lmao

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How do Canadians laugh?

eh lmao

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What four letters come after A?

LMAO

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How does an alien get back to his home planet?

ayy lmao

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What's pirates' favourite meme?

Ayy lmao

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What did the pirate say when he saw the dank meme?

arrr lmao

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What's a dank memer's favorite letter?

'A' lmao

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Hilarious every time

Taco Bell Order: I want a burrito with no beans!

LMAO!

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I really wish my French cat would stop laughing at me.

Cat: "Lmao"

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why did the minion crosss the road?

BAZINGA XD GOT U XD LOL LMAO ROFL

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What do horses eat on the internet?

Hayy lmao

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What did the man say to the bee who wanted to learn the alphabet?

Nothing lmao bees cant learn.

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What does an alien who come to Canada say?

Ehh Lmao.

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What are the most funny Lmao jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Lmao? Well, here are the best Lmao dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Lmao pick up lines to share with friends.

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