Following is our collection of funniest Lizard jokes. There are some lizard reptilian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lizard areptile puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"
and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name?
The guy says, "Tiny, because he's minute"
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
A reptile dysfunction
A reptile dysfunction
Lizard: I am more in promotion
Man: What do you do?
Lizard: I rep-tile.
Must be a reptile dysfunction.
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Sorry about your reptile dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction
(I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)
You can explore lizard newt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lizard reptile dad jokes. There are also lizard puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because he had a reptile dysfunction. ...
Okay bye now
"It was delicious," says man.
A procrastigator.
A reptile dysfunction
It had a reptile dysfunction!
Re-tail.
A reptile dysfunction
You may have a reptile dysfunction.
Ereptile dysfunction.
A karma chameleon
A reptile dysfunction.
He had ereptile dysfunction.
Then he orders 0 beers.
Then he orders 999999999999 beers.
Then he orders a lizard.
Then he orders -1 beers.
Then he orders NULL beers
Then he orders asnwikfjsdf.
The stand-up chameleon.
A mariguana.
and it became a spotted lizard
... I told her I was goanna do it later.
Anole sex
Turned out he had a reptile dysfunction.
A reptile dysfunction
A reptile dysfunction.
You could say it was his hunting inskinkt.
Ereptile Dysfunction
Dragon his feet
At the re-tail store
A mariguana
The bartender says, "Nice lizard. What's its name?"
"I call him Tiny because he's my newt."
Mariguana
He's going to get a calmer chameleon.
You're one in chameleon
But he seems even more freaked out now with the big lizard crawling all over him…
It was a case of reptile dysfunction
and he orders a beer, Orders 0 beer, orders 32769 beers, orders 99999999 beers, orders a lizard, orders -1 beers, orders gksbfkagfiau.
A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller. What's your kid's name? asks the bartender. Tiny, says the lizard. Because he's my newt.
Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 9999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sjfkalrtbwc.
The hiring manager is perplexed. "How" he asks, "does inking reptiles amount to 'relevant experience' designing buildings for our firm?"
"Well for starters" the lizard tatoo artist begins, "all of my drawings are to scale."
*This is OC fam. Just put my 2 weeks notice in at my day job.*
A mariguana!
I'm not sure what the science is behind this, but I'm sure it was just a reptile dysfunction.
He could really rep tile
An independently informed people.
But rather, she only took issue when Mark would drink heavily and behave erratically, calling it a reptile dysfunction.
and the bartender says, "We don't get many lizards in here." The first lizard replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised!"
(My brother told this one when we were kids.. I don't know where he got it but think he and a friend made it up. Stupid but it still makes me laugh)
The bartender says "What's with the little lizard?" And the guy says "It's my newt."
The monitors.
It was a reptile dysfunction
The lizard asks the doctor what the problem might be.
The doc answers back, seems to me like you might have Ereptile Dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction
A beta tester runs into a bar
A beta tester crawls into a bar
A beta tester moonwalks into a bar
A beta tester jumps into a bar
A beta tester sneaks into a bar
A beta tester orders 1 beer
A beta tester orders 2 beers
A beta tester orders 0 beers
A beta tester orders 999999999 beers
A beta tester orders -1 beers
A beta tester orders qwertyuip beers
A beta tester orders a lizard in a cup
A regular user walks into the bar and asks if he can use their toilet
The bar erupts into flames and burns to the ground.
To meet his flatmate
Because he had ereptile dysfunction.
It was car ma car ma car ma chameleon.
... a pet lizard that bites people up to 5 times a day.
He needs a calmer chameleon
A man walks into a restaurant with a lizard on his shoulder. He sits down and when the waiter comes he asks for a lemonade and a water for Tiny here. The waiter goes back and evenly brings him the drinks, sets them on the table, then asks why do you call him 'Tiny'. The guy says 'Because he's my newt'.
A re-tail store
I told him that's a weird way to describe a lizard.
I said "One pint for me and one for my mate Tiny"
The bartender said, "Why do you call him tiny"
I said, "He's my newt."
A slandermander
A chameleonaire!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lizard cottonmouth jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lizard iguana piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.