Following is our collection of funny Lizard jokes. There are some lizard reptilian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lizard lot lizard puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"
and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name?
The guy says, "Tiny, because he's minute"
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
A reptile dysfunction
A reptile dysfunction
Lizard: I am more in promotion
Man: What do you do?
Lizard: I rep-tile.
Must be a reptile dysfunction.
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Sorry about your reptile dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction
(I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)
You can explore lizard newt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lizard reptile dad jokes. There are also lizard puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because he had a reptile dysfunction. ...
Okay bye now
"It was delicious," says man.
A procrastigator.
A reptile dysfunction
It had a reptile dysfunction!
Re-tail.
A reptile dysfunction
You may have a reptile dysfunction.
Ereptile dysfunction.
A reptile dysfunction.
Then he orders 0 beers.
Then he orders 999999999999 beers.
Then he orders a lizard.
Then he orders -1 beers.
Then he orders NULL beers
Then he orders asnwikfjsdf.
The stand-up chameleon.
A mariguana.
and it became a spotted lizard
Turned out he had a reptile dysfunction.
A reptile dysfunction.
At the re-tail store
A mariguana
The bartender says, "Nice lizard. What's its name?"
"I call him Tiny because he's my newt."
Mariguana
He's going to get a calmer chameleon.
But he seems even more freaked out now with the big lizard crawling all over him…
It was a case of reptile dysfunction
and he orders a beer, Orders 0 beer, orders 32769 beers, orders 99999999 beers, orders a lizard, orders -1 beers, orders gksbfkagfiau.
A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller. What's your kid's name? asks the bartender. Tiny, says the lizard. Because he's my newt.
Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 9999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sjfkalrtbwc.
The hiring manager is perplexed. "How" he asks, "does inking reptiles amount to 'relevant experience' designing buildings for our firm?"
"Well for starters" the lizard tatoo artist begins, "all of my drawings are to scale."
*This is OC fam. Just put my 2 weeks notice in at my day job.*
A mariguana!
I'm not sure what the science is behind this, but I'm sure it was just a reptile dysfunction.
He could really rep tile
An independently informed people.
But rather, she only took issue when Mark would drink heavily and behave erratically, calling it a reptile dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction
A beta tester runs into a bar
A beta tester crawls into a bar
A beta tester moonwalks into a bar
A beta tester jumps into a bar
A beta tester sneaks into a bar
A beta tester orders 1 beer
A beta tester orders 2 beers
A beta tester orders 0 beers
A beta tester orders 999999999 beers
A beta tester orders -1 beers
A beta tester orders qwertyuip beers
A beta tester orders a lizard in a cup
A regular user walks into the bar and asks if he can use their toilet
The bar erupts into flames and burns to the ground.
Because he had ereptile dysfunction.
A re-tail store
I told him that's a weird way to describe a lizard.
I said "One pint for me and one for my mate Tiny"
The bartender said, "Why do you call him tiny"
I said, "He's my newt."
A slandermander
A chameleonaire!
To the retail store
A reptile dysfunction
Turns out they don't mean the lizard.
These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.
Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Hawaii.
Chuck can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass..................at night.
When Chuck is in Rome, they do what HE does.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one questions why.
Villager 2: Meh, why bother. We're doomed from the gecko.
A-reptile dysfunction
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes
I turn to the local tribesman and said That lizard is really funny.
The tribesman replied That's not a lizard…
He's a stand up chameleon…
Because it had an ereptile dysfunction.
After some time the lizard becomes thirsty and decides to go to the river to drink some water.
When he gets there, he falls in and is saved by a crocodile. After Explaining how he got high, The Crocodile decides to investigate.
When the crocodile reaches the tree, he calls out to the monkey. Still high, the monkey looks down and almost falls in shock: "Yo Man, How much water did you drink?"
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
A cold-blooded killer
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
Because they dragon.
A guy walks into a bar with a small lizard on his shoulder. He says to the barman, "One for me and one for Tiny." The barman says, "Why do you call him Tiny?" And the guy says, "Cuz, he's my newt."
Monitor lizard
He had e-reptile dysfunction
It's called a reptile dysfunction
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lizard iguana jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lizard areptile piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.