Living Jokes
170 living jokes and hilarious living puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about living that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the fun side of living with this witty article. Learn about the different aspects of living from living room design to living in Maine, living the dream to living alone, living together to living environment, and everything in between. Explore vida, apartments, and being alive. Get ready to laugh and enjoy living!
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Funniest Living Short Jokes
Short living jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The living humour may include short alive jokes also.
- North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media. When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
- Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Thank god I live in Canada
- My housemates are convinced our house is haunted I don't get it. I've lived here for 273 years and not noticed anything strange.
- I live in Pripyat and I just finished watching Chernobyl And I gotta say I counted 17 inaccuracies on my right hand alone.
- The doctor gave me six months to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.
- When you live alone, the only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat Is a warm toilet seat
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
- Alligators can live up to 100 years... Which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.
- A man is on is death sentence and he gets to choose his last meal He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life, they never found a working machine.
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Living One Liners
Which living one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with living? I can suggest the ones about working and lifetime.
- I put a black hole in my living room. It's great. Really pulls the room together.
- I threw a boomerang a few years ago I now live in constant fear
- Racism is like nickelback... I like to joke about it, but I never want to see it live.
- It turns out vaccines cause cancer. You'll actually live long enough to get it.
- From my 7-year-old: What room are zombie not allowed in? The living room.
- If I don't perfect Human Cloning... ...I won't be able to live with myself
- What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
- What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus.
- I saw a homeless man living in a tire today, so I popped it Now he lives in a flat
- I just found out that i have two weeks to live My wife just went on vacation
- Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long? Because old Hobbits die hard...
- Male bees die after mating. That's basically their entire lives. Honey. Nut. Cheerio.
- Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live.
- Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!
- I just gave my cat some 7UP. Now he's got 16 lives.
Living Room Jokes
Here is a list of funny living room jokes and even better living room puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My ex is like the Mona Lisa It's not that she is pretty or anything, but I would be ecstatic if I came home to find her hanging in the living room
- What room doesn't have ghosts? Living room.
- I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room. For Jesus.
- I bought a christmas tree today. The guy asked me if I was going to put it up myself. I said, "No, I'll probably put it in the living room"
- What's that one room zombies can never enter? the LIVING room
- I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot? Myself.
- What room can't a skeleton enter? The living room.
- There's a father and a son sitting in their living room. The son asked, "What's it like to have the greatest son in the world?"
The father replied, "I don't know, you'll have to ask your grandpa" - When I told my mother I wanted to put the Christmas tree up myself... she suggested that I should put it up in the living room instead.
- I went to buy a Christmas tree. The guy said, "Are you gonna put it up yourself?"
I said, "No, I was thinking the living room."
Living Together Jokes
Here is a list of funny living together jokes and even better living together puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Finally bought a puppy for the wife and I, but it turns out my wife's allergic to dogs, so we had to get rid of her. The dog and I live happily together now.
- We were out having dinner when my girlfriend said We've been living together for three years now and you still haven't popped the question Good point, when are you moving out? I asked.
- What do you call 2 eggs living together? Coeggsistence
- Did you see that movie with the bugs living together in an apartment? It's about ten ants.
- I know you're wondering… why do bees live huddled together in hives? 'Swarm
- An engineer and art major were living together. One day, the house burned down, but only the engineer survived The reason: The engineer was at work
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broomates
- Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony... Then everything changed when I dropped my mix tape.
- My wife and I live together So we'll have to go back to your place
- A Mexican and a Black woman are in a car together, who's driving? Neither, they live there.
Living Alone Jokes
Here is a list of funny living alone jokes and even better living alone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- To the many people out there who live in haunted houses... YOU ARE NOT ALONE
- There's nothing like the laughter of a baby at 1 AM... Unless you live alone
- My roommate thinks I have schizophrenia Which is weird because I live alone.
- I live alone, so I am ironing my own clothes Oh, the irony.
- While living alone and always wearing a mask in public, I grew a mustache without anyone knowing. It's my secret 'stache.
- My wife left me because apparently I'm to paranoid I'm ok with that. Rather live alone than with a clone
- What do you call an area where a cat lives alone? Catalonia
- Im moving out Son: mom, i am finally living alone
Mom: Thats great honey! Under her breath: they grow up so fast
Son: your bags are in the driveway - The worst thing about living alone is the strange noises you hear. It makes me think the owners are home.
- Did you hear about the woman who lived alone with her bird? She's had a cockatoo over the years, but never a husband.
Living The Dream Jokes
Here is a list of funny living the dream jokes and even better living the dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.
- I just had a terrible dream. In a dystopian future, robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Good thing my alarm woke me up.
- My best friend is a full-time professional sleep walker. He's living the dream.
- Old man here, I've lived my life.
But when I was young man, I dreamed of sleeping with a strange woman every night.
I just didn't think it would be the same one. - I finally got to live out my dreams of joining a reggae band with my triangle. I just stand at the back and ting.
- When I lived on the street, I always wanted to become a plumber, get a home, and run a business... But that was just a pipe dream.
- I called an old friend and asked how he's been. He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder. - My Nana's ninety three, but she's living the dream. The one where you go out in just your underwear and your teeth fall out.
- I made the love of live choose between me and her dream of being a professional athlete... She left me and became a famous tennis player, I should have known love meant nothing to her.
- [OC] My therapist asked me "How's it going?"..."Living the dream!" I replied. The joke's on him though... a nightmare is technically a dream.
Living In Maine Jokes
Here is a list of funny living in maine jokes and even better living in maine puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- We used to live on a very busy main road. But after our 4th child got run over, we decided to move in to a house.
- Have you lived in Maine your whole life? Not yet
- My girlfriend lives in Portland, she's my Maine h**... But I got a girl in Boise who's my Sidaho
- What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine An L.L.b**...
Gather Around for Fun Living Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about living you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lives jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make living pranks.
A weather report for you
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
A Pakistani living in England (offensive)
A Pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human f**... and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.
Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
A married couple is lying in bed.
The wife leans over and says, "I want you to say dirty things before we start". So the man starts to caress her neck and whispers to here. "Living room, Bathroom, Kitchen".
There were 3 moles living in a hole...
One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."
Two small boys meet on the first day of school
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Jehova
This morning someone was ringing the doorbell, so I opened the door and there was a young man standing there. "Hello sir" he said, "I'm a Jehova's Witness". I invited him in, offered him something to drink and we sat down in the living room. "So, what would you like to talk about?" I asked. He looked up from his cup of tea and said "To be honest sir, I havn't got the faintest idea, I never made it this far..."
My dog, Grandpa
The other day, my professor asked me what I'd name my dog if I got one.
I said, well I'd name him Grandpa.
That way, when people asked how my day was, I can say things like:
Oh man, I forgot to feed Grandpa today.
I feel bad for leaving Grandpa outside last night.
Grandpa pooped in the living room again.
I had to put grandpa down today.
Grandpa ran away again.
I caught Grandpa h**... my friend's leg again.
And people who don't know me, won't know what I'm talking about.
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
The guy was in the store buying a fake Christmas tree.
The shop attendant asked him, "Are you going to put that tree up yourself?"
The guy replied, "Don't be disgusting! I'm going to put it in the living room!"
Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...
As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."
A kid walks into the living room
And tells his dad, "Dad, I'm freezing!"
The dad says, not looking away from the TV, "Go stand in the corner."
The kid is surprised, what did he do wrong? "But why?"
The dad looks at his son and grins evilly. "The corner is 90 degrees!"
"DAD!"
They say there's safety in numbers...
Tell that to 6 million Jews
Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia.
Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - its hilarious.
A Jewish man is in a car accident.
A Jewish man is in a car accident and is laying bleeding on the side of the road. A cop runs up, and rolls him on his back. He looks down on him and says, "the paramedics are coming. Are you comfortable?"
The Jewish guy say, "eh... I make a decent living."
A boy wants to know the difference between hypothetically and realistically
His father says, "Go ask your mother and sister if they would have s**... with somebody for a million dollars."
The boy returns and tells his father they both said yes.
"Well son hypothetically we're sitting on two million dollars, realistically we're living with a couple of w**...."
What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
They are both living off of dead beatles.
I installed a skylight in my apartment.
The people living above me are furious.
A hero comes to a village...
The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen. "There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it will come down and eat one of our v**... girls" the villager reply. The hero then promise to help. Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.
Why are pizza makers always poor?
Because they knead dough to make a living.
I should clean mirrors for a living.
It's a profession I see myself in.
They say that a person's surname is named after whatever their ancestors did to make a living
I feel sorry for the guy who's dad was the first person to be called "Dickinson"
People say to me Jesus was not Jewish
## I say ofcourse he was Jewish
+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents
+ Working in his father's business
+ His mother thought he was God's gift
## He's Jewish. Give it up
****
_by Robin Williams_
Happy Birthday Robin!
Today I asked my mom what she did for a living, she replied "I'm a headmaster".
To which my dad replied "yeah she is"
A Scotsman moves to London
How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps b**... his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.
About 4,000 years ago:
God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!
I'm living in a rough neighbourhood...
Some t**... tore the front and back pages of my dictionary out!
It just goes from Bad to Worse
A boy was having suspicions that he was adopted...
He decided to sit down with his dad in the living room to express his worries.
Clearly anxious, he hesitantly asked "Dad, am I adopted?"
His dad looked quite surprised but promptly replied: "Not yet, we haven't found anyone who'll take you"
While I was living in Japan a woman approached me on the train...
She said to me, "What's black and white and red all over?"
"Wow," I said, "You can speak English?"
"Just a riddle," she said.
Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
My dad and i were driving past a cemetery
When suddenly my dad said in a serious toned voice
"I know something you don't know about this place.The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried in here"
And i was really confused so i asked why and he said
"Because they are still alive."
Original: tumblr user @hello.
A man and a woman rotate to the same table in a game of speed dating.
"Hi!" says the woman cheerfully, "Just so you know, I'm deaf, but I can read lips. Just talk as you normally do and I'll let you know if I didn't catch something. So, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a ventriloquist," says the man.
"What?" says the woman.
I capture lions for a living...
I guess you could say I take pride in my work.
A woman searches for something in the living room.
After an hour, worried, she asks her husband:
- Have you seen my book?
- Which one?
- How to live to become 100 years old.
- Ah yes. Yesterday, i threw it away.
- But why?
- Your mother started reading it...
Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
There's a man living near me who has 5 p**....
Rumour has it his underwear fit him like a glove.
Since I'm going away to college, my Dad sat me down to have a talk.
He said OK, Dan, you're going off to college. You're going to be living away from home, in a dorm, surrounded by beautiful girls. So I got you something from the drug store.
I said It's ok, Dad- I already know about condoms.
He's said No - anti-depressants.
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
Working holiday
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I'm going to Las Vegas. I can earn $200 for a b**... there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do for you for free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.
"Where are you going?" the wife asks.
"I'm coming with you. I want to see how you can live on $200 a year."
I s**... wire for a living
It's not a glamorous job, but at least I can make ends meet
I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea
"I can't complain" he wrote back.
Cleaning mirrors for a living might not pay much
But it's definitely something I could see myself doing
Playing the piano is like living.
I gave up on piano at 7 years old.
Can you call the British PM a fool?
During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".
I went to a brothel and met a p**...
I asked her what are the prices?
She said:
£20 for a h**...
£50 for a b**...
£80 for s**...
And for £120, i'll do anything!
Anything hmmm....
She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.
You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!
Saudi Arabian seems really behind on the times.
It's like they're living under Iraq or something.
Welsh pub
One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer.
All the other men in the bar looked at him and the bartender asked, "You're not from around here, are you lad?"
"No," replied the man, "I'm from London."
"So, boyo," said the bartender, "What do you do for a living then?"
"I'm a taxidermist." Replied the man.
"A taxidermist?" asked the barman, "What's one of them do?"
"Well," replied the man, "I mount animals."
The bartender then turned to all the other welshmen in the bar and said, "It's o.k. lads, he's one of us!"
My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.
The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.
I walked into the living room to find my wife breast feeding our son...
"How long do you have to do that for?" I asked. "When is he going to be too old for it?"
"Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age."
I replied, "Shut up, Harry. I was talking to your mother."
So, my 3 year old cousin was over this morning.
I needed to grab a quick shower as I let him watch cartoons in the living room. When I came out, there was black permanent marker all over my 55 inch TV screen. I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT. Does anyone know what is best used to clean blood out of a carpet?
My dad just called a family meeting.
Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".
A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room
He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud b**... and rumbling
Dad: Son what happened?
Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs
Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt
Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it
My wife crashed our car this morning.
When the police came she said the guy involved was on his mobile and eating a pie at the time.
The police advised her the guy was entitled to do what he wanted in his own living room.
Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi?
He's still alive.
(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren)
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks.
The cost of living has gotten so high that my wife began having s**... with me again
so she wouldn't have to buy batteries.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"
m**... is like buying IKEA furniture.
At first, it sounds like a great idea.
But then you're on your knees in the living room, with a mess on the carpet, wishing you'd have just paid someone.
Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago
Because he's still alive
After 37 years I'm finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I've accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means...
...and the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50
I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living.
He can't take it, but he can dish it out.
a Jewish man living in Moscow applies to move to Israel.
At 3:00 AM there's b**... on his door. It's the KGB.
You! Jew! You applied to move to Israel?
He nods.
Here in Russia, you have food to eat?
Yeah, I can't complain.
And here in Russia, you have place to live?
Yeah, yeah, I can't complain.
And here in Russia, you have job to work at?
Yeah, I can't complain.
So, Jew, why you apply to move to Israel?
Because *There* I can complain!
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.
He said he can't complain.
The D.J. at a wedding reception yelled, "Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
A Jew living in the Soviet Union applies for an exit visa so he could emigrate to Israel.
As a result, he is summoned to the KGB headquarters.
I see that you applied to move to Israel? asks the KGB officer. The Jewish man nods.
Here in the USSR, don't you have food to eat?
Yeah, I can't complain.
And here in the USSR, don't you have place to live?
Yeah, yeah, I can't complain.
And here in the USSR, don't you have job to work at?
Yeah, I can't complain.
So, Jew, why did you apply to move to Israel?
Because There I can complain!
A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...
They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it's a nice ride. They both end up saying it's a Good Car. The Mandalorian walks around the corner and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.
My neighbor visited my house the other day
He said: Isn't your house the same as mine? How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your living room when you moved in?
12 I said.
A few days later he came back, pretty p**.... "I just finished, and I have 7 rolls of wallpaper left!"
Yeah, so did I.
\*Heard in Dutch and translated.
A Japanese business man living in nyc goes into the bank to exchange a large amount of US dollars into Yen....
He does the transaction with the teller, offer a polite bow accompanied by an 'ah so', and leaves.
He comes back in a week with another large amount of usd to exchange. This time he gets much less yen. He looks quizzically at the teller and she says to him, 'fluctuations'!!
He angrily grabs the cash and storms out. As he's leaving the branch he comes back in and yells at the top of his voice: 'fluc you Americans too!!!'
I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings
Apparently it's an Apartment Complex
An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading the Tehran Times
A friend sees him and says, "Oy, Moishe! How can you read that rag? Don't you know the things they say about us?"
To which the man replies, "Well, I used to read to read the Jewish papers, but they're so depressing. Every headline is 'Jews Being Persecuted!' 'Jews Living in Poverty!' 'Jews Being Oppressed!'. But now I read these Arab papers and the headlines are all 'Jews Own All the Banks!' 'Jews Control the Media!' 'Jews Run the World!'. It's much more uplifting!"
Satan arrives to welcome a new d**... soul to h**....
"Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!"
"Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not a adult living in my father's basement."
Drunk man: "Is life worth living?"
well, it depends on the liver.
I can guess what people do for a living just by looking at their hands.
I mean, I'm usually wrong. But, I can guess.
Dad explained the difference between theory and reality.
Dad told me to ask mom if she would sleep with the neighbor for one million dollars. Mom said she would. Dad then told me to ask my sister if she would sleep with the neighbor for one million dollars. Sis said she would. Dad said right. In theory, we are sitting on two million dollars. In reality, we are living with two w**....
