Livid Jokes
40 livid jokes and hilarious livid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about livid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Livid Short Jokes
Short livid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The livid humour may include short furious jokes also.
- My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one. She was livid, "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
- A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. ...and his wife is livid.
You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!
"No," slurs the mathematician...
I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12. - I didn't realize how bigoted my family was until I brought my gay black boyfriend home My parents were fairly upset but my wife was absolutely livid.
- I spent all of last night trying to remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500 and couldn't.... ...I'm so LIVID right now.
- My carpenter friend brought me a single plank of wood by 5 o'clock today. I was livid! "Whats wrong?" he asked.
"You told me you'd bring me 2 by 4!" - My History teacher got so angry that I couldn't translate the sequence 50,1,5,1,500 into Roman Numerals You could almost say he was Livid.
- Some guy just tried to tell me i can't be 443 years old and i don't undertand roman numerals i'm LIVID
- Roman I'm Having trouble finding out what
51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals!!!
I'm LIVID - I get angry when I forget Roman numerals. But when I forget the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500... I'm LIVID.
- I was absolutely livid with my doctor. He told me I had a brain tumour. Naturally, I panicked at first. But I lost it when he said,
It's all in your head.
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Livid One Liners
Which livid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with livid? I can suggest the ones about incensed and enraged.
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- I forgot the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500. I am LIVID.
- Can't remember the Roman numerals for 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500. IM LIVID.
- I can't write 51, 6, or 50 in Roman Numerals. I'M LIVID!
- I forgot how to write "1, 1000, 51 5 1 500" in Roman numerals. I M LIVID!
- I keep on forgetting what the Roman numerals are for 1, 1000, 51, 6, & 500 are. I M LIVID

Hilarious Fun Livid Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about livid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean infuriated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make livid pranks.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m and his wife is livid.
You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!
"No," slurs the mathematician I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12.
At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...
... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"
"Because I just imagined dad holding up the bank with my violin."
My wife agreed to a t**... with two girls.
She was inexplicably livid when I told her she was neither.
A man walks into a bar...
Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.
Mexico was pretty livid when Donald Trump announced his plan to build a wall along the southern border of the United States...
...But once it's erected and complete, I'm sure they'll manage to get over it.
A woman and her baby get on a bus to head out for some errands. The bus driver mumbles: 'Wow, that's one *ugly* baby!' The woman was absolutely livid and storms to the rear of the bus to sit. The man next to her asked if she was OK. She replied: 'No, the driver just insulted us!'
The man replied: 'You should go back and tell him off! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'
I told my Girlfriend my ultimate fantasy is to have s**... with two women at the same time. She actually agreed...
She was livid when I told her she was neither of them.
A hot woman was standing in a bus.
A kid saw her standing, got up and said, "hey lady, you can sit here. I've vacated my place for you."
At this, woman got real livid and slapped the kid.
"These days you can't even be nice to anybody", said the boy and went back to sit on his father's lap.
Mr. No-One and Mr. Nobody are sitting in a tree.
Under them, Mr. s**... is sitting on a bench.
Suddenly Mr. No-One spits on Mr. s**...'s head. Mr. s**... is livid and storms off to the Cops to report him.
He bursts through the door and yells:
'No-One spat on my head and Nobody saw it!'
The officer looks at him dumbfounded and asks: 'Are you s**...?'
'Yep, that's me!'
I was feeling really down the other day so decided to give myself a coffee e**...
It worked a treat, but the manager of Starbucks was livid.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She was livid. What am I going to do with two dead dogs?
My girlfriends dog died, so to cheer her up, I bought her an identical one
She was livid. She said "this s**... jokes gets reposted almost everyday"
Just went on vacation in another country and met a local named Lavee. Nice enough gal but when she gets angry she becomes
Livid Lavee the Local
My wife never has s**... with me anymore
She's always wanted kids so I suggested we start trying to conceive.
So far the s**... has been great, but she's going to be livid when she realises I've had a vasectomy.
I gave up on fitness and angrily buried my juicer. I was livid when my friend dug it up again and told me to man up.
Did you just exhume my blender?
The school board is discontinuing the teaching of cursive writing and Roman numerals.
I'M €%¥&@# LIVID! (but not anymore).
I opened my son's bedroom door and there was an o**... happening. I was livid.
That they noticed me standing there so soon...
Roman prison
On my first day in a Roman prison they took away my name and gave me a number - I was **LIVID**

