Livestock Jokes
19 livestock jokes and hilarious livestock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about livestock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Livestock Short Jokes
Short livestock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The livestock humour may include short cattle jokes also.
- What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock? barn and no-bulls.
(This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.) - Did you hear about the dairy farmer who got kicked off his farm for not having any livestock? It was a no cows eviction.
- I just found out that Santa Clause raises livestock in between Christmas... I guess you could call him a Jolly Rancher
- How do you get ranchers to quickly react to offerings at a livestock auction? A cattle-list
- Whenever someone asks, I recommend to invest in cattle They're livestock in a market that's always bullish
- Became a vegetarian after I saw the terrible conditions of livestock I just couldn't stomach it
- Q: How do you fit 10 Amish in a VW Beetle? A:Tell them you are going to the livestock auction
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Livestock One Liners
Which livestock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with livestock? I can suggest the ones about poultry and farm animal.
- What do Chinese call their pets? Livestocks.
- What rodent helps reduce your risk when trading livestock futures? A hedgehog
- What do you call a secret agent that owns livestock? Jason Barn
Playful Livestock Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about livestock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cows jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make livestock pranks.
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"
"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
A dying grandma tells her grandchild....
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a commercial livestock hauler, my main responsibility is transporting donkeys.
My clients..have their a**... handed to them.
I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.
The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.
Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.
A man purchases some livestock....
but has no way to get it home. He walks to the only pay phone for miles which has a rate that charges the user $5 per word spoken and recieved. Not one to waste money, he places a call to his wife and says "Com-for-ta-ble"
Spelling bee
A Nebraska Huskers fan was in the finals of the state spelling bee.
"Okay, your word is 'farm,'" the moderator said to the Husker.
He sat there for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. "Um... Can I have a definition?"
"Sure," the moderator said. "It is a plot of agricultural land, used for the raising of crops and livestock."
"Uhhh..." The Nebraskan sat there for several more minutes, continuing to ask for alternative pronunciations, word origins, etc. The moderator was getting frustrated. Finally the huskers fan asked, "Uh, can you use it in a sentence?"
"Old MacDonald had a FARM!" the moderator shouted.
"Oh!" said the Husker.
"E-I-E-I-O!"
