The Best 12 Livestock Jokes

Following is our collection of Livestock jokes which are very funny. There are some livestock rancher jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these livestock graze puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Livestock Jokes and Puns

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

A dying grandma tells her grandchild....

A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."

An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.

"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.

"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.

"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls.

(This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.


What rodent helps reduce your risk when trading livestock futures?

A hedgehog

I just found out that Santa Clause raises livestock in between Christmas...

I guess you could call him a Jolly Rancher

How do you get ranchers to quickly react to offerings at a livestock auction?

A cattle-list

Did you hear about the dairy farmer who got kicked off his farm for not having any livestock?

It was a no cows eviction.

Whenever someone asks, I recommend to invest in cattle

They're livestock in a market that's always bullish

What do you call a secret agent that owns livestock?

Jason Barn

You can explore livestock crop reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean livestock animals dad jokes. There are also livestock puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man purchases some livestock....

but has no way to get it home. He walks to the only pay phone for miles which has a rate that charges the user $5 per word spoken and recieved. Not one to waste money, he places a call to his wife and says "Com-for-ta-ble"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the livestock range jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working livestock chickens piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes