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Little Thing Jokes

94 little thing jokes and hilarious little thing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about little thing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Little Thing Short Jokes

Short little thing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The little thing humour may include short little person jokes also.

  1. For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus It's the little things that count
  2. I am starting a charity to teach short people maths. It's called making the little things count.
  3. Yesterday, for Valentine's Day, I got my girlfriend some new beads for her abacus 🧮... It's the little things that count.
  4. My girlfriend told me I'm bad in bed I told her she should learn to enjoy the little things in life
  5. I'm starting a business.... I'm gonna do math tutoring, but solely for midgets. I'm calling it Making The Little Things Count.
  6. For valentines day, I bought my girlfriend beads for abacus. It's the little things that count.
  7. "It's the little things in life that make you laugh" I never understood that until I saw two midgets fighting in Wal-Mart.
  8. I'm starting a business to teach short people maths. It's called, "Making The Little Things Count."
  9. I visited a strange, small shop on my trip to Egypt... They had some really weird goods for sale. Honestly, the whole thing was just a little bazaar.
  10. Say what you will about molecular biologists... But they sure know how to appreciate the little things in life.

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Little Thing One Liners

Which little thing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with little thing? I can suggest the ones about little guy and little man.

  1. Make the little things count... teach midgets arithmetic.
  2. I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area. I'm making little things count.
  3. Today, I made the little things count by teaching math to midgets.....
  4. Three things that never lie..... Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants
  5. Why are dwarfs so good at math? Because it's the little things that count.
  6. Make the little things count. Teach dwarfs Mathematics
  7. "I find pleasure in the little things"... ...Said the pedofile to the court.
  8. I got a miniature abacus for my birthday. It's the little things that count!
  9. I'm starting a school to teach short people math. It's called little things count.
  10. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
  11. Protons, neutrons and electrons Are the little things that matter.
  12. Every day, we have to make all the little things count. ~ The math teacher of dwarfs.
  13. I highly respect microscopes they teach us to enjoy the little things in life.
  14. So the past, present and future walk into a bar Things got a little tense
  15. What's the most ironic thing about being a little person? It's hard to fit in.

Little Thing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about little thing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean small baby jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make little thing pranks.

Ever since my wife has been seeing a therapist, we're having s**... much more often.

My wife says it's because the therapist has helped her appreciate the little things in life.

A multimillionaire goes to a psychologist

So, the multimillionaire is lying there on the couch, and he says, "I have this problem where I buy things. Big things, little things. It doesn't matter if it's a good deal or not. It doesn't matter whether or not I need it. It's the thrill of the purchase. In fact, yesterday I pulled out my wallet, and I bought an entire mall."
So the psychologist thinks for a little while, and finally says, "Then it sounds like you have a shopping complex."

A blonde driver and a blonde cop....

A blonde woman is speeding down the highway and gets pulled over by a blonde cop, the cop goes up to the blonde's window and says "I need to see your license ma'am." The driver says she doesn't know what that is and the lady officer says "It's that little thing in your purse with your face in it." The driver pulls out her compact mirror and holds it up to the cop, "You mean this?" The blonde cop looks at the mirror and says, "I'm so sorry ma'am, I didn't know you were a cop, have a nice day."

This has been seen before, but this is my favorite version.

I rear- ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Well, i couldnt believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, " Well, then which one are you?"
And thats how the fight started....

What did the Mammoth say to the n**... caveman?

How can you even breathe outta that little thing?

a Cake Day joke

I always wondered why my wife brings me cake when we have s**.......
Turns out she likes to celebrate the little things.

What did the elephant say to the n**... man?

How do you drink out of that little thing?

A Gentleman happening to turn up against a House to make Water,

did not see two young Ladies looking out of a Window close by him, 'till he heard them giggling, then looking towards them, he asked, what made them so merry? O! Lord, Sir, said one of them, a very little Thing will make us laugh.

Did you know tall people are usually bad at math?

... cus it's the little things that count

My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...

"Honey, it's the little things that count!"

What did the elephant say to the n**... man ?

How do you breath through that little thing?

A man goes to a f**... ...

After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:
"Mind if I say a word?"
No, of course not , she says. "Please do."
The man stands up, clears his t**... and says:
"Abacus"
Then promptly sits down.
The widow leans back and says: "Thanks, it's the little things that count .

Historical wife

Two men are at the pub and it's 2 AM. One of them says it'd be in his best interest if he would leave now. "When I stay away for too long, my wife gets historical."
The other man replies: "That's not a bad idea actually. I can tell you've had enough beer. You're looking for the word 'hysterical'."
"No," replies the man, "I really meant historical. She will remind me of every little thing I ever did wrong in the past."

Snow White started a tutoring center for the Dwarves to teach them math.

She called it "Making the Little Things Count"

I'm planning to start a business on teaching math to short people.

Gonna call it "making the little things count".

Really made me smile when I walked past a group of midget mathematicians today...

It's the little things that count.

I told my wife that she needs find joy in the little things in life.

She replied, honey, I am not in the mood right now for s**....

I'm working on book that teaches midgets how to do math.

I call it making the little things count.

The real troublemaker ...

While examining a female patient, doctor tells her:
Ur heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.
Woman immediately started taking off her top and jeans..
Doc shocked said:
No! No! Plz put on ur clothes.
Just show me your tongue..."

The Good Old Days

> You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

- Emo Philips

I follow my mother's advice and make little things count...

Although I'm not sure if she meant me teaching midgets math.

Do you know why Worf holds so many grudges?

He klingson to every little thing you say.

What did the midget say to the asian man?

Enjoy the little things

Although "Appreciate the little things" is good life advice,

It's not something to say in bed.

My sister told me to make the little things count

So I taught midgets math.

Penn State has missed two extra points today

which is weird because they are usually pretty consistent about doing the little things.

Men shouldn't be so concerned about having a small d*c**......

As they say don't worry about the small things in life, and it's the little things that count.

For Valentine's Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.

It's the little things that count.

My wife is very fond of saying "It's the little things in life..."

I just wish she wouldn't say it after s**...

New I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis.

I thought it was a little thing, but it was much bigger once we got into it...

Appreciate the little things..

Hug a midget today.

The first time my girlfriend saw me n**... and laughed saying Who are you supposed to please with that little thing?

Myself

You know the joke about that little thing whose name you can't remember?

It's a doodad joke.

I once dated a 3 foot tall model who played a supporting role in Cat and the Hat

She was a pretty little thing

I had a girl come over last night

She was a shy little thing and offered her honor to me. Being a gentleman, I honored her offer.
And all night, it was honor and offer, honor and offer.

What's the dirtiest little thing that comes to bed with me?

...my phone.

I'm starting a charity about teaching maths to midgets...

I'm calling it "making the little things count"

s**... is a lot like life

You got to take in the little things

Couch potato joke

I have a fat roommate that loves to stream but every time he does it he commentates on every little thing! hes such a common tater!

What did Bob Marley say when his miniature house was struck by an earthquake?

Every little thing is gonna be alright.

My Canadian wife gets so mad that I buy every little thing I see online.

But she's the one that keeps shouting at me to "Maintain CTRL+A"!

I haven't done much in my life, but I did teach basic arithmetics to ants...

It's the little things that count.

don't worry about the little things in life

said Bill Cosby

Melania, about why she's not concerned with Donald's affairs:

**"it's all about the little things in life!"**

So there's this new white supremacist reggae song...

It's called 'every little thing is gonna be alt-right'

s**... with me...

It's the little things in life.

Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They make little things count

Singin' Don't Worry 'Bout a Thing

Cos every little thing is gonna be alt-right.

Little things come in small packages

That's how I lost my job at the parcel delivery company

My girl always tells me "Life is about the little things", but I just hate when she talks about her Ex.

"It's the little things that count"

Said the teacher when she taught Math to midgets.

Me and my step son were watching letters and numbers

Letters and numbers is a show where contestants are given a certain number of letters and 30sec to make the biggest word or 6 different numbers and 30sec to reach a target number using only those given once with the standard 4 operations.
So I'm watching with my son and one of the contestants is a dwarf/midget (the politically correct term) and he is smashing it! He managed to reach the target number in less than 10 seconds! And I go wow! He's so smart at maths.
My son turns to me and says
Because it's the little things that count.

Life...

is made up by little things: a small villa, a small yacht, a small fortune

"Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks" reminded me of this one.

A man and his wife were driving from New York to California. Along the way the wife would find every little thing wrong with her husband's driving.
"You're driving too fast." "You missed that exit." "You're tailgating."
This went on throughout the trip. As their car crossed the border into Colorado, a cop flashed his lights and the man pulled over. The cop walks up to the driver's side and the man rolls down his window.
"Hey, Buddy, didn't you notice your wife fell out of the car about a quarter-mile back?"
The man said to the cop: "Thank God, I thought I went deaf."

Frontotemporal dementia is no hindrance

My grandma lives in a nursing home cuz she got several kinds of dementia, 99% of the time she stares at something distant and quietly repeats what we've just said to her.
Last time we visited her my mother asked what they had eaten yesterday, when my grandma remembered correctly my mother said "It's great you remember! I can't remember what I had for dinner yesterday."
Without missing a beat my gandma looks my mom straight in the eyes and says "That's how it starts!"
It's the little things that count.

Adam is a little lonely...

About a month or so after Adam was introduced to Eden, God and Adam are meeting for dinner. Adam expresses his admiration for the plants and the animals and the joy and beauty of it all, but admits that there is one little thing that he feels sad about: he feels a tiny bit lonely....
God quickly points out that he is already working on a solution: it is called a "woman," and is stunning to behold, beautiful and slim, would make company for Adam, would care for him when he's sick, attend to cooking and cleaning, make love to him whenever he wanted, and basically be a joy to be around.
Adam is suitably impressed, and expresses his eagerness for this "woman" thing to be created. He is practically beside himself.
"There is a catch, though," says God, "to create the woman I described I need both of your legs, and at least one arm."
Adam hems and haws for a while, and then asks: "what can I get for one rib?"

Three fruits discuss marriage.

Doug the Banana is chatting with his buddies about his upcoming wedding. Doug says, "Yeah you know, the wedding planning has been a huge hassle. Everything's expensive, everyone's telling us what we should do, and we're worried about offending people we don't invite. There are so many little things to take care of and its taking a toll. Marsha and I have actually considered eloping, if you can believe that. It would make things so much easier."
Fred the Grape pipes in and says, "Yeah its funny you mention that. Darla and I have actually thought about eloping. Her mother is crazy and don't want her meddling with the wedding. The family issues are just a lot to manage and its really taking away from the magic of it all. It would just be a lot simpler to get away on our own."
Finally, Doug and Fred turn to Bob, a Melon, and ask him, "What about you Bob? Will you and Sandra ever elope?" And Bob says, "I can't."

A grandfather takes his grandson hunting for the first time

They are on the look-out when a young deer appears in the middle of the clearing, the little one raises his rifle but his grandfather stops him saying "that one is too young, let's wait a bit more".
They wait, and a magnificent deer in the prime of his years struts into the clearing and the young lad raises his rifle again. Again the grandfather stops him and explains "we need strong young deer to keep the population healthy."
They continue to wait and eventually a scraggly little thing covered in scars, with only three legs and missing an eye stumbles onto the clearing. The grandson looks questioningly at his grandfather asking "Is this one ok?" -"Yes, we always shoot at that one!"

A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded.
One day a woman knocked at his door.
“Is that your big dog outside?”
Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?”
She said "I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!”
“What?” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?”
“A Peke” Replied the woman.
“A Peke? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?”
“I think it got stuck in his t**...!” replied the woman.