Little Susie Jokes
23 little susie jokes and hilarious little susie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about little susie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Little Susie Short Jokes
Short little susie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The little susie humour may include short little suzie jokes also.
- Little Johnny asked one day, "Mommy can little girls give birth?" "No son. Of course not"
"Oh OK... Hey Susie! Its OK to keep playing the game now!" - Little Susie goes to the doctor... Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, "Ok now, big breathes."
Susie says, "I know! And I'm only 12!"
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Little Susie One Liners
Which little susie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with little susie? I can suggest the ones about little suzy and little miss.
- Where did little Susie go after going into a minefield? EVERYWHERE!
- Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
- Where did little Susie go after she heard the bomb blast? Everywhere!!
- I heard Jared lost about 7 inches. .. But little Susie isn't sure.
Amusing & Witty Little Susie Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about little susie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean little mary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make little susie pranks.
A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b**... with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.
Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's b**...."
Helpful Daughter
Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.
Susie perked up: " That's because it's empty", she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."
Little Johnny is in Catholic School
The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"
Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."
Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."
Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."
The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.
Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
Little Susie came home from school and told her mum the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels
"you should tell them No, they only want to see your knickers" said her mum
"I know that, that's why I hide them in my bag"
Put Something In It
Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
"That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up, "That's because it's empty," she said.
"You'd feel better if you had something in it."
So a Sunday School teacher asks her class where Jesus is.
Little Susie says, In Heaven!
Little Amy says, In my heart!
Little Johnny says, In my bathroom!
Perplexed, the Sunday School teacher asks little Johnny why Jesus would be in his bathroom.
I don't know, I just hear my dad every morning b**... on the bathroom door and yelling 'Jesus Christ are you still in there?!'
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her first-grade class.
"Class," she said, "what were the first words Jesus said when he walked out of the tomb on Easter morning?"
A little girl waved her hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! I know!" she said. "Pick me! Pick me!"
The teach smiled and said, "All right, Susie. What did Jesus say when he walked out of the tomb?"
Susie stood up proudly. "He said, 'TAH-DAH!'"
One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...
So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.
"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"
"An o**...," answered Little Johnny.
For all the animal lovers out there
A teacher is in front of the class teaching word problems. She asks little Susie,
Teacher: If you had 5 pets and someone wanted 3 of them, how many would you have?
Susie: 5, I'm not going to give them away.
Teacher: Alright, if you had 5 pets and someone forcibly took 3 of them, how many would you have?
Susie: 5...and a dead body.
The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"
Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.
Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone." The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone, Little Johnny?" "Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should
see all the sports cars outside our house!"
Legs up in the Air
One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier."
The next day when Susie's dad came home she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today." Flustered, her father said, "Honey what happened?" And Susie said, "Well Mommy's legs were up in the air and she was screaming 'Oh Jesus I'm coming I'm coming' and if it wasn't for the milkman holding her down she would have been a gonner."
Little Susie
Little Susie came home from school one day and shouted "Mom! Mom! I made $5 today!" Her mother asked "How did you do that, Little Susie?" Little Susie said "I was walking home from school when a man offered me $5 to climb a pole!" Her mother was appalled and said "Little Susie, don't do that! That man just wanted to get a look at your underwear!"
The next day, Little Susie came home from school and shouted "Mom! Mom! I made $5 today!" Her mother angrily said "Little Susie! What did I tell you about that? That man just wants to look at your underwear!" Little Susie smiled and said "But mom I tricked him... I wasn't wearing any underwear."
Using the word 'definitely'
A 3rd grade English teacher stood in front of her class and asked for volunteers to use the word 'definitely' to describe something.
The first student, Johnny, raised his hand and said "Teacher, the sky is definitely blue!"
The teacher responds "Well Johnny, sometimes the sky can be grey and sometimes it can be black." Defeated, Johnny put his hand down.
The next student, Susie, looking to make Johnny look bad proudly said "The grass is definitely green."
Teacher responded "Not so true Susie. When the grass dies, it can be brown, or yellow." Susie was embarrassed.
The teacher looked around the room and saw a puzzled look on her student's faces. Just as she was about the help her students out, little Billy threw his hand up.
"Yes Billy?"
"Teacher, are farts lumpy?" Little Billy asked.
"No Billy, farts are not lumpy."
"....Then I definitely just pooped my pants."
EDIT - Names...D'oh. Face meet palm