Little Sister Jokes
104 little sister jokes and hilarious little sister puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about little sister that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Little Sister Short Jokes
Short little sister jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The little sister humour may include short little brother jokes also.
- My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"
"Your daughter"
courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago - My little sister's cat died... ...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat.
- I called my boss this morning and told him i was sick. "Just how sick are you?" he said.
"well im in bed with my little sister, is that sick enough" - A joke my little sister thought of today A blue man lives in the blue house, a purple man lives in the purple house, a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house?
An orange man. - A little boy says to his sister: "Guess what sis, I have two Blow Pops!" Sister: "Oh thank God, that means he won't make me do it tonight."
- What do you call a funny hill? Hilarious ...
My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all. :| - I once told story about pregnancy that nobody understood except for my twin sister It was our little inside joke
- What's the difference between my house and my little sister? I don't use the back door when entering my house.
- My little sister hated that our mother was addicted to cigarettes so she took a fork and stabbed the packet repeatedly. Mom was not pleased. Holy smokes!
^(Based on a true story) - After my parents got divorced my little sister gained a lot of weight I hope they don't make fun of her at school... She has enough on her plate.
Share These Little Sister Jokes With Friends
Little Sister One Liners
Which little sister one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with little sister? I can suggest the ones about older sister and little girl.
- What do little sisters love to ride? A nissan.
- What does a little sister ride? A Niisan.
- When i was little i wanted to be a babysitter but then i got a baby sister.
- My sister told me to make the little things count So I taught midgets math.
- My sister started using a pencil to do her eyebrows. It looks a little sketchy.
- Why didn't Billy want to toss his little sister in the air? He didn't want to harmonica!
- Why did the bear put on some socks? Because it was bear-foot
Source: my little sister - What do you call an angry traveler? A so mad nomad
(Credit to my little sister) - My little sister asked me which state is Detroit in I said, "Turmoil".
- My little sister started to choke and my mom told me to heater in the back.
- I caught my little sister reading h**... comics. Her face was well red.
- Did you guys know Charlie Sheen has a little sister, Fartma?
Great Little Sister Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about little sister you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean little miss jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make little sister pranks.
A fourth grade teacher asks the class, "Have any of you ever saved somebody's life?" A little boy raises his hand, "Yes, my little nephew's."
"Wow, what a little hero you are! How did you do that, sweetie?" asks the teacher. The little guy replies, "I hid my sister's birth control pills!"
Little Bobby's teacher asked everyone to draw something exciting.
Isabel drew a puppy, Jeffrey drew a cake, and little Bobby drew a period. The teacher looked puzzled and asked Bobby, "How is this exciting?" Bobby said, "Well it may not be to you, but my sister is missing two, so there is a lot of excitement at my house."
Children brought up on a farm are often quite precocious.
A nun gave a lecture on the facts of life to the combined classes one day.
She thought the tiny tots would hardly know what her talk was all about so she left them in the classroom.
After a while she noticed little five year old Johnnie whispering with a little four year old Jane and she asked Johnnie what was the meaning of their whispering.
Johnnie stood up and asked, "Please sister, can a woman of four have a baby?"
"Of course not," answered the sister, quite flustered.
Johnnie turned to the little girl beside him and said, "Didn’t I tell you, you had nothing to worry about."
Two little boys go into the grocery store.
One is nine, one is four.
The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.
The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."
Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."
The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"
The nine year old says "They’re for my four year old little brother."
The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?"
The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!"
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
"Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts."
A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…
"Now she knows."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married.
My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea!
My girlfriend?
She is a dream!
But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister…
This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses.
Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear.
She never did that in front of someone else!
One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations.
When I arrived she was alone.
She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them.
She also said that she desperately wanted to have s**... with me just once before I marry her sister.
I was shocked and could not say a word…
She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her.
I froze and looked at her going up the stairs.
Going up, she took her p**... off and threw it at me.
I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door.
I opened it and I walked to the car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!"
Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?"
"Because I helped her."
"But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?"
"I helped her eat her gummy bears."
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister.
" Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Satan in Church!
A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute." returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity??" persisted Satan.
"Yep." was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?!" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me? "
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
A little girl tells her dad she wishes she had a sister
In an attempt to be clever, her dad explains, "You do, it's just you don't see her. Every time you come in the front door: she leaves out the back door.". The little girl replies, "ohhhh, just like my other daddy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a misunderstanding
teacher to class: can anyone use the word fascinate in a sentence?
little johnny: my sister has ten b**... on her shirt but she can only fasten eight
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny Has A Question
A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.
His father says to him "That's an easy one", "Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000."
So the boy does as he is told. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. "She said yes, dad." "So," said his dad "Find your mother, now, and ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well."
The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.
"She said yes too, dad." "Well, there you go." said the dad.
The boy looked at his father, puzzled.
He smiled, "Potentially we're sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of w**...!"
There were two sisters...
Once upon a time, in the wild, wild West there were two sisters, Jill and Susie. A relative of theirs dies and leaves the two sisters a ranch. The ranch was run down and they had little else to their name besides the ranch so they thought they'd invest what they had left into a stud bull to mate with their cows.
They found an ad in the paper for a healthy bull for sale for $500 and decided Jill would go down and see if the bull would be suitable and Susie would stay back and manage the ranch. If Jill decided the bull was fine she would send a telegraph back home to have Susie come down and help bring the bull back up.
Jill travels out to look at the bull and decides that it is worth the money. She pays the $500 and goes to the telegraph office to send word to her sister. She told the operator she'd like to send a message to her sister that the bull was fine and that she should come down to help bring it back to the ranch.
The operator told her it would cost $1 per word. All Jill had left after buying the bull was $1 and she thought long and hard about the message she could send. Finally, she told the operator to send the word "comfortable." The operator shook his head and said, "I don't get it, why the word comfortable?" Jill said, my sister is blonde, she'll look at the word and read it slow. COM-FOR-DA-BULL.
Important Punctuation
So little Timmy is at school and for show and tell, he drew a dot on the board.
The teacher asks him, what's that?
Timmy then replies, it's a period!
Teacher, what's so special about it that you brought it in for show and tell?
Timmy, I don't know, but this morning, my sister said she missed hers. Mommy fainted, Daddy got a heart attack, and the man next door shot himself in the head.
Why did the little girl drop her ice cream?
She got hit by a bus.
Sequel:
Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream?
Someone threw a fridge at her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Little Timmy is Playing with His Legos...
...when all of a sudden his mother comes up to him. She tells him "Timmy, when your father comes home can you tell him to come to our room? Tell him it's very very important". Timmy agrees and continues to play with his legos. A couple of hours later the father comes home and Timmy runs to him and says "Daddy! Mommy says she needs you go to your bedroom, she said it's very very important!". The father starts heading to the bedroom, but Timmy begins to get curious. He secretly follows his dad and waits for him to close the door. He peeks through the keyhole and sees his mom rip off all of her clothes. Standing there n**..., she tells the father very bluntly "John. I want a baby". 9 months later, Timmy receives a new baby sister. A couple days at home pass and Timmy goes up to his mom. He tells her "Mommy, when daddy comes home can you tell him to come to my room? It's super important!". A couple hours pass and the father comes home and greets his wife and newborn. She then tells him "John, Timmy wants you to go to his room, he said it was important". The father heads to Timmy's room, and after walking in Timmy begins to rip off all of his clothes. Standing in front of his father n**..., Timmy says very bluntly "Daddy. I want a bike".
So it's little Johnny's turn to present for show and tell...
So it's little Johnny's turn to present for show and tell. He goes up to the chalkboard and draws a period. The teacher then asks "What is so special about a period?" Little Johnny replies "I don't know, but when my sister said she missed hers my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the neighbor shot himself!"
Little Johnny is in Sunday School,
and little Mary Margaret in the front row pipes up, "Sister Jean, what part of our body gets to heaven first?"
And the sister Jean smiles and asks, "Well what do you think, class? What part of your body gets to heaven first?"
Tommy raises his hand, "I think it's your hands, 'cuz that's what you pray with."
"Oh lovely, Thomas." says sister Jean
Then little Mary Margaret chimes in again "I think it's your heart, 'cuz that's where Jesus lives"
Sister Jean clutches her chest, "Beautiful, dear."
But then Johnny shouts, "It's your LEGS!"
Sister Jean looks stunned, "Your legs, John? Why?!"
"Last night I went in my mommy and daddy's room, and mommy was on the bed, with her legs in the air going 'OH GOD, I'M COMING!'"
A Sunday School Teacher . . .
A Sunday School Teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "Honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, filled Luke in on a little secret. Princess Leah is Luke's sister! Luke was obviously distraught! Freaking out, he went to find his master, Obi Wan Kenobi. Luke said to him, "Master Obi Wan! My beautiful wife is my sister! What do I do?!"
Master Kenobi, keeping his cool, looked his apprentice in the eye and said, "Luke, use divorce."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Theory vs Reality
Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have s**... with the mailman for million dollars.
The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have s**... with the mailman.
Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have s**... with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of w**....
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman...
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney, Australia.
"The view is fantastic, the beer excellent and the food exceptional," said the Scotsman, "but I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow, there's a little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, that's nothin'," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you'd like. Then, when you've had enough drink, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid - ALL on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims, but he swears every word is true.
"Well," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not myself personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."
Hidden Bible code
"Sister Agnes?"
"Yes, Martha; what is it?"
"Today's reading, from Malachi. I don't understand it."
The old nun approached the bench where Martha sat between two other visually-impaired students, and wedged herself in between the three. She looked down at the weighty braille Bible Martha was reading. "What don't you understand, my dear?"
"Well," continued Martha. "It seems to be a story all about the birth of Satan, the one that was prophesied about."
Alarmed, the elderly sister snatched the Bible from Martha and ran her leathery fingers over the little dots. Then she burst out laughing, "Oh, you silly child. You are holding the book upside down."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kindergarten
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting, and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude, but eventually his turn came.
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well, the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.
It's a period, reported Johnnie.
Well I can see that, she said, But what is so exciting about a period.
d**... if I know, said Johnnie, But this morning my sister said she missed one. Then, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.
A man went to New York on a business trip...
When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man's expense, so he asked, "My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was the third?"
The passenger had no idea.
The driver replied, "The third one was ME!"
The man went home to his wife and said to her. "Hey honey, here's a riddle for you. My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was the third one?"
His wife was stumped and said, "I don't know, who?"
The man responded, "Believe it or not, some cab driver in New York."
I raise you the joke my sister improvised when she was 7 and I was 10.
We were playing Star Wars. She was Leia and I was Darth Vader, obv.
Me: What have you done with the Death Star Plans??
Her: They're over there in that little box?
Me: How could a disc for in that little box?
Her: It was a floppy disc.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When Little Johnny grew out of diapers, his dad had to teach him how to pee like a man...
"Listen here, son, this is how you do it," says Daddy.
1. Unzip your pants
2. Pull out your equipment
3. Pull back your f**...
4. Relax the muscle that's holding in the pee
5. Push back your f**...
6. Put your equipment back,
7. Zip back up.
Later that day Johnny's sister, Little Jane, runs up to her dad exasperated. "Daddy, Daddy! Johnny's hogging the bathroom!" "That's fine," responds Daddy, "he's learning how to pee like a man." "No he's not!" yells Jane. "He's just in there shouting, 'Three, five, three, five, three, five..."
A Christmas Wish
Little Johnny wrote a letter to Santa,
Dear Santa Claus
Please send me a sister for Christmas
Santa wrote back,
Dear Little Johnny
Please send me your mother
My little sister's sick burn
She's 7, which makes this so much better.
Her: Hey /u/Teeplaysgames, wanna know why Mom named Noah (our brother) Noah?
Me: Sure, why?
Her: Because the first time she saw him, she yelled "NOO! AHHHH!" and the doctor just wrote that down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... ed
One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having s**.... He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having s**.... When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"
Q&A
Q: What did Norman Bates call his little sister?
(You know you see it coming...)
A: Psycho-sis!
(I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)
The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...
All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.
The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"
Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period, and my sister just missed hers, and it's causing a lot of excitement at our house!"
Florence
"Dad, why'd you and mom named my little sister 'Florence'?" - "Because we made her in Florence, my son." - "Thanks, dad." - "No problem, Rear Seat."
Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives
His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.
A mother of twins went into labour and passed out.
A mother of twins went into labour and passed out. She woke up hours later to find her (not so bright) sister carrying her twins. Nervously the new mother asked her sister whether the children has been named. To which the sister replied yes. The new mother shocked and scared then asked the sister what she named the children to which she replied she named the niece Denise. The mother feeling a little better then asked what she had name the boy to which she replied Denephew.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, Billy ate a can of BBs..
Later on, his sister goes up to their mom and says, "Mommy Mommy! Billy peed out a BB!". and the mom just says, "well its gotta come out somehow.."
an hour or two later, the sister goes up to the mom and says "Mommy Mommy, Billy peed out another BB!". and the mom says, "well, its gotta come out some time.."
a little bit later she goes up to her mom and once again says, "Mommy Mommy!", but the mother interrupts and says, "I know, I know. Billy peed out another BB-..."
"No! Billy was m**... and he shot the dog!"
Why did the little girl eat her money for lunch?
Because her mom gave her money for lunch.
8 year old sister told me this joke, gave me a good laugh.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little kid walks into his parents' bedroom while they're having s**...
The little boy asked, "What are you doing?"
His mother explains, "Your dad was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out."
The boy says, "That's really funny. Whenever you go out for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Sister: What's a pedestrian?
Me: Ask mom.
Her: No, it sounds dirty!
Me: Well then you're the biggest pedestrian I've ever seen!
Her: MOM! HE CALLED ME A PEDESTRIAN!
Little Johnny was learning about punctuation
The teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.
She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.
He asked: Why are periods so important?
The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?
Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself
A little boy was looking through the keyhole of his sister's room
Mom says with a smile, "why are you concerned with what your sister is doing in there?"
Boy replies, "I am not concerned with her, I am wondering what dad is doing."
Today I learned that the elevator was named after Darth Vader's little sister.
Ele. Ele Vader.
Little Johnny was sitting on the porch with his sister
He said, "Look, there's a quarter in the street!"
His sister jumped up and ran into the street to get the money and was promptly squashed by a truck. And Little Johnny just laughed and laughed, because he knew it was only a nickel.
A child writes a letter to Santa...
A child writes a letter to Santa. He writes " Dear Santa, I want a little sister for Christmas." Santa writes back to the child "Dear Billy send me your mom."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's f**.... Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..
I got off on the wrong foot.
In class the teacher ask to students
In class the teacher ask to students if their parents have everything in life, a boy answer his family is wealthy and they have everything, the teacher ask him if they have a plane and the boy answer they dont, so they dont have everything in life, then a girl say their family is rich and they have a plane, the teacher ask him if they have a submarine, the girl answer they dont, so they dont have everything in life, then this little girl rise her hand and say "my family have everything in life, because last night my sister brought her punk boyfriend for dinner and my dad sayed Oh no, the last thing we needed".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Father's Occupation
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."
Little Johnny and His Baby Sister
Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day.
Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from.
"From Heaven," replied his mom.
"Well, I can see why they threw her out!"
A boy went to his father:
Daddy, why don't I have any brothers or sisters?
Well, son, when I was a little boy, just like you, my mom used to tell me that it is alright to make mistakes, as long as you don't make them again.
Telemarketer
A telemarketer calls a house, and a little boy answers the phone.
"Hello, little boy, is your father home?"
"No.
"Well, is your mother home?"
"No."
"Well, is there anyone else here I can speak to about an incredible opportunity?"
"Um, my sister's here."
"Can I speak to your sister, then?"
"Sure".
The boy puts down the phone and there's mostly silence for the next 5 minutes. Then the boy returns to the phone.
"Sorry, but my sister can't come to the phone right now."
"Oh, unfortunate. Why not?"
"I can't get her our of her crib"
My parents always told me when you fail try again while growing up,
And that's why I have a little sister.
My little sister confessed her feelings for me and i feel like this is not normal.
She said she hates me more than anything.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do little sisters and men with an interest in f**... have in common?
They love being called s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little sister told me an elementary school rhyme today.
Women go to college to get more knowledge
Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a farm and 3 pigs, well had 3 pigs. I resently sloughterd them IT was my mom dad and little sister IT was my mom dad and little sister
A little boy and his sister were taking a bath
They both looked down and said, "what's this?" So the girl came to her mom, and pointed down saying,"what's this?" Her mom replied, "that's your garage, dont let any boy park his car in it. The boy came to his dad, and pointed down, saying, "what's this" the dad said, "that's your car, you park it in a girl's garage. The next day, they took a bath again and the girl came out covered in blood. The mom asked her, "OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED!?" The girl replied calmly,"oh, it's ok mommy, he tried to park his car in my garage, but I popped his back 2 tires."
Sorry I wrote this on mobile.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My little sister joke
A s**... man took his door to a door repair services to fix it.
His friends asked he if wasn't afraid that someone might break into the house and rob them.
He said, I am not afraid because I still have the keys.
The son wanna date a neighbour
\- Dad, can I date Lisa next door?
\- No, she is your sister.
\- How about Anna in block 59?
\- No, she is your little sister.
\- Ok, this is weird. How about Karen the waitress? Can I date her or is she my sister too?
\- No, she is your brother.
The upset son goes tell his mother about what his dad said.
The mother gentlely comforts him:
\- You can date whoever you want, teddy bear. You are not his son.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke my cousin sister told me when I was 9.
For 12 years Maya was the only child. She was coddled and adored by her mom and dad who gave her all the attention. So when her little sister was born, and she began to recieve less attention, she grew resentful.
She hated her little baby sister and wanted her dead. So while watching her mother breast-feed the baby, she hatched a plan.
That night, while her parents slept, she sneaked into their room and rubbed poison on her mother's n**....
When she woke the next day, she found out her dad had died.
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Darned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
Not my joke but my 5 year old sister's
Mom is cooking up some mac and cheese for my little sis and says," Come get your macaroni and cheese."
To which my sister replies," I said I want mac and cheese, NO Caroni!"
My 5yr old sis is smarter than me
