Little Mermaid Jokes
35 little mermaid jokes and hilarious little mermaid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about little mermaid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Little Mermaid Short Jokes
Short little mermaid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The little mermaid humour may include short mermaid jokes also.
- What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common? They're both under DC.
- How do you take a picture of the Little Mermaid? Using Ariel photography. (If that doesn't work, try your shell phone.)
- How can we tell that Ariel, The Little Mermaid, is a horrible student? Even on a curve, her grades are always under the 'C'.
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Little Mermaid One Liners
Which little mermaid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with little mermaid? I can suggest the ones about mermaid man and disney princess.
- I know The Little Mermaid's breast size. It's obvious. She's wearing C-shells.
- Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman? He had allure.
- Was The Little Mermaid directed by a pilot? Because it's mostly Ariel footage.
- Why couldn't the little mermaid get into college? Her GPA was unda da C.
- What kind of bra did the Little Mermaid wear? An Algebra
(Algae Bra) - What swims slightly faster than a shark? The Little Mermaid on her period.
- What is the Little Mermaid's favorite diacritic? The cedilla, because it is under the c.
- Why can't the Little Mermaid weigh herself? She doesn't have a scale.
- Where does the Little Mermaid shop for her dinglehoppers? At the Hair Cutlery.
Little Mermaid Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about little mermaid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean little miss jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make little mermaid pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Society is full of double standards
For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half n**..., singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"
But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
WALKS INTO A BAR... MERMAID s**...
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a bar...
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I need help. Whenever I call my redheaded wife "my little mermaid" she always lights up
How else can I politely say "your bottom half smells like fish"?
Sailor with a Small Head
One day, a man sees a sailor walking around, and he notices that the sailor has a very small head.
The man asks the sailor, "Why is your head so small?" The sailor replies, "When I was sailing, I saw a beautiful mermaid, and she said she would grant me one wish. And you know what, I thought about it for a while, until a brilliant idea struck. I went over to the mermaid, and asked, 'How about a little head?'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The little mermaid asked the prince: what so you like more-h**..., or v**... s**...? to which the prince replied:
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man walks into a bar...
...and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a tennis ball.
"I have to ask, sir," says the bartender. "Without sounding rude, what happened to your head?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Man's Three Wishes
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but noticing the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I gotta ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
A sailor walked into a bar with a shrunken head...
He sat down as all the other seafaring folk all stared in silence at the size of this mans tiny skull. He pulled up a stool and ordered a pint. Curiosity got the better of one of the other men and he just had to ask "what happened to your head?" "Ah I was out on my own fishing for months out in the middle of god knows where, one morning at dawn amongst the mist I spot a mermaid upon a rock. I couldn't believe my eyes. She said she'd grant me one wish, she would do anything I wanted. The very next day I find myself talking to ye folk." "Yes but what happened? What did you ask for?" ....
"I said all I wanted was a little head."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Little Head
A man walks into a bar and notices the gentleman next to him has a very small head. After a few beers, he finally asks the gentleman, "Pardon me, but why is your head so small?".
The man began to explain how he was in the Navy and after his ship was struck by a torpedo, and he was stuck on a deserted island for months. "One day," he said "A mermaid magically appeared. She said she could grant any wish I had. I asked to be rescued, and off in the horizon, I saw a coast guard ship heading towards me. I then proceeded to explain how long I had been stuck on the island and asked her for some s**... before being rescued. She explained that it was impossible since she was a mermaid. So instead, I asked her for a little head."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Mermaid Joke
A guy walks into a bar and sees a man at the other end with a very small head, about the size of a softball. He walks up and says, I just have to ask, whats up with your head? The guy with the tiny head says, "I was walking along the beach alone one night and a mermaid appeared. She said that she was magical and can grant me one wish. I hadn't had any luck with the ladies in a long time so my wish was to have s**... with the mermaid. She responded that she was a mermaid and it wasnt physically possible for her to have s**... with a human. So I responded, how about a little head?"
Zing!
A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a little head.......
After having a couple drinks the man asks the other guy, "hey, I don't mean to be rude, but how is it you have such a small head."
The guy replies, "well it's a bitter sweet story. You see when I was in the war my plane got shot down in the Pacific. I parachuted out and ended up on an deserted island."
He continued, "after several months on this deserted island, a beautiful mermaid suddenly appeared and granted me three wishes."
"My first wish is that I'd like to be rescued from this island I told her."
To which the Mermaid said, "tomorrow a rescue boat will find you."
"My second wish is that I'd like to be rich for the rest of my days."
The Mermaid said, "invest early in these companies, and you will be a wealthy man...and what is your final wish?"
"Well Mermaid, you know I've been stranded on this island for so long, and seeing as you are so beautiful, I'd wish for nothing more than to sleep with you."
The Mermaid sighed and said, "I cannot grant you that wish, you see I'm a half fish, it would not work."
Frustrated, the man said, "Well how about a little head then?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
