Little Children Jokes

There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to c**..., however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes. One person said that he was the smartest thing that hit the face of the Earth, and that he was too smart to die. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The second person said that she was too important to die, she had children and a family to take care of, and they depended on her to care for them. So, she took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The third person said that he was too important to die because his family depended on him for survival. He was the head of household and the sole bread winner. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. Finally, there were only two people left, and one parachute. One person was a 12 year old boy, and the other was a 65 year old man. The old man said, "Well son, I have lived a good life, and you are too young to die, you have a long life ahead of you. So, you take the last parachute. The boy asked, "Why, Sir?" The old man said, "Well, there is only one parachute left." The little lad said, "Sir there are really two parachutes left." The old gentlemen asked, excitedly, "Yeah? How?" "Well," replied the boy, "you know that guy who thought he was the smartest and greatest thing that hit the face of the Earth? He grabbed my backpack."

Children brought up on a farm are often quite precocious.
A nun gave a lecture on the facts of life to the combined classes one day.
She thought the tiny tots would hardly know what her talk was all about so she left them in the classroom.
After a while she noticed little five year old Johnnie whispering with a little four year old Jane and she asked Johnnie what was the meaning of their whispering.
Johnnie stood up and asked, "Please sister, can a woman of four have a baby?"
"Of course not," answered the sister, quite flustered.
Johnnie turned to the little girl beside him and said, "Didn’t I tell you, you had nothing to worry about."

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the u**....
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their trousers, and began lifting the little boys up one by one, and held onto their 'pp' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in the 4th.'
'No, ma'am,' he replied, 'I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.'

Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class

Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class to talk about his experiences. He tells the class, "I remember one time, me and my squadron was comin' back from escortin' some B-17 and we're almost over the Channel, when one a dem Fokkers come out of a cloud..." A few kids chuckle at this but the old guy keeps going. "Me and my wingman took care of him right quick, but then two more Fokkers show up..." There's more laughter and the teacher's starting to look annoyed; the pilot doesn't care: "...and it's a real dog-fight, all of us shootin' every which way and we got 'em just about handled when outa nowhere four more Fokkers..."
The class just bursts into laughter and the teacher interrupts. "Now, children. I know you're all enjoying your little jokes, but you should know that many of the German fighter planes were produced by confiscated factories belonging to the Dutch aeronautics firm Fokker."
The pilot is nodding along to all this. "That true, ma'am, but the day I'm talking about, those Fokkers were Messerschmitts."

Is it Scotch?

For Christmas, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked,"Champagne?
"No," said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"

What's in a name?

A woman sits down next to another mother on a park bench as their kids played together on a playground in Keswick, and they got to talking.
The woman was astonished that the other Mom had eleven children, all named Jayden.
Why did you call all your kids Jayden?" she asked her new friend.
"It's a great time-saver, I can just yell JAYDEN, time for bed", and they all will come running".
A perplexed look crossed the face of the first woman But don't you find it a little confusing? What if you only wanted to call one specific child, the second youngest, or the oldest? How do you get just their attention?
Simple… said the mother of eleven …then I just call them by their LAST names

Remembering a great icon.

Dear friends,
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join
me in remembering a great icon.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time
friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he -- even
still, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no
tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The f**... was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

Three men are on an airplane...

One of them has a knife, one has a gun, and the other has a bomb. The first guy with the knife, realizes that he cannot go through with h**... the plane, so he throws the knife out the window.
The second guy, with the gun, also decides that he cannot go through with h**... the plane, and throws his gun out the window.
Alas, the third guy also makes this decision, and throws the bomb out of the window.
Their plane lands sometime later and they decide to grab a drink at the bar. Upon walking up to a bar they notice everyone is gathered around the tv, watching intently. It shows 3 children...
"what happened?" the men ask the fellow patrons.
"shh, just watch"
On TV:
Reporter: "Son, why are you crying?"
Kid 1: "My daddy got stabbed by a knife from the sky!!!"
The man that threw the knife out realizes that it was his knife and feels horrible...
Reporter: "Little girl, why are you crying?"
Kid 2: "My daddy got shot from a gun falling from the sky!!!"
The man that threw the gun out realizes that it was his gun and feels horrible...
Reporter talking to the final child: "Kid, why are you... laughing?"
Kid 3: "My daddy f**... and the house blew up!!!!"

Lifesavers

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) Of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavours by their colour:

Red......................Cherry
Yellow..................Lemon
Green....................Lime
Orange...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.
'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled,
'Oh my God!! They're a**...!'

The two troublemakers

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

Ugly Woman in the Park

A young man was sitting on a park bench when a hideous middle aged woman walked by. 
The poor crone had two children with her, a young boy and a baby girl. 
The young man smiled at the lady, gestured to her children, and asked if they were hers. 
The woman replied that yes, they were indeed her children and thank you for asking.
The young man remarked that they were beautiful children, and asked if the boy and girl were twins.
The ugly woman was a little taken aback, but thanked the man, and asked him why on earth he thought that they were twins, given their obvious age difference.
The young man replied,
"I just can't believe that you got laid twice!"

The Gorilla and the r**...

A small zoo in Georgia obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became impossible to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the gorilla was in heat, and her aggressive behavior could only be relieved with s**... interaction with a male counterpart. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
After considering nearly all possible options, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a r**... part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, a very strong physical man, had little sense but was always bragging about his h**... tonk women. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this, and I mean no one." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", Bobby Lee said, "In the event that there are offspring, I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00."

The Ressurection

The pastor of a Baptist church had called all of the little children to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit around him.
He said, "Today is Easter and you all look so handsome and beautiful. Today we're going to talk about the resurrection. Does anyone know what the resurrection is?"
One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said, "Please tell us what the resurrection is."
The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear loud voice, "When you get one lasting more than four hours, you gotta call a doctor!"

An old one my late grandmother used to tell

In a Catholic school English classroom, a nun was giving the lesson.
"Today, children, we'll be talking about rhyme. Does anyone have a rhyme they'd like to share?"
Several little hands shot up. The nun pointed to the smallest girl, Sally, in the front.
"Hey, d**..., d**...,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon."
"Very good, Sally." said the nun. "Who else?" She called on a little boy, Jack.
"It has my name in it!
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe."
"Wonderful rhyme, Jack!" replied the nun. Now, in the back of the class sat Michael. Michael came from a loud Irish family and was known as a troublemaker. The nun had tried to pick the other students before him, but he was beginning to make a commotion so she sighed and called out "yes, Michael."
"I've got a rhyme for you, Sister" he said.
"Mary came from Boston, Mass. and went into the water up to her knees."
"Michael," began the nun, "that doesn't rhyme."
"Oh, I know Sister. But wait until the tide comes in."

Maybe it's scotch?

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit…She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?"
"No," said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"

How to Get to Heaven

I was testing children in my Sunday School class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.
I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered in unison.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, the answer was a unanimous "NO!"
"If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, they all answered "NO!"
I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
This time, there was no shout in unison. Finally, the silence was broken whan a little boy shouted out, "You've got to be dead!"

45th birthday

Two weeks ago was my and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!" and probably would have a present for me.
As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember.
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.
I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day."Let's go!" We went to lunch.
We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable".
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake -- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And I just sat there --on the couch -- n**....

The Resurrection

While the priest was presenting a children's sermon.
He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial,
but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that
lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor".

It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue

A day at the races

Two female teachers took a group of pupils from years 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Epsom Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the u**.... Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants, and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their 'willies' to direct the flow away from their clothes and shake them dry.
As she lifted one boy up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring at his equipment the teacher said, 'You must be in year 3?
'No ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Atlantic Jewell in the next race, but I really appreciate your help.

"Now little ones, where do children go when they do bad things...?", Mrs Mary asked.

"I know! I know!", Little Johnny said with vigour, " they go behind the bushes in the playground!"
"Please little Johnny, mind what you say"
"Oh its true Mrs Mary!", voiced Susan enthusiastically, "T.J took me there and showed me his w**...."
The teacher gasped in horror as T.J smiled mischievously.
"Oh, it was like a peanut it was!"
"Hah, so it was tiny?", the teacher relieved, asked.
"No, salty!"

Rabbi's w**...-bang

The Rabbi and his wife were expecting a baby. The Rabbi went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Rabbi's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Rabbi's pay situation. You can imagine there was much yelling and bickering.
Finally, the Rabbi got up and spoke to the congregation, "Having children is an act of God!"
In the back of the room, a little old man with a full beard stood up and in his frail voice said, "Point of information - snow and rain are also 'acts of God,' but when we get too much we wear rubbers!"

A church is auditioning for bell ringers in the bell tower.

Many children show up and finally the priest gets to the last one. Suddenly a little boy with no arms runs through the door and says, "Am I too late?" The priest wants to go home but asks the child, "How if you have no arms will you ring the bell?" Without question the child runs head first right into the bell, barely making a noise. The priest tells the little child, " I am sorry but that is not loud enough. But thank you for trying my son." All of the sudden the kid runs full force smacking into the bell with all his might and creates the loudest ring the priest has ever heard. Suddenly the bell falls and crashes down to the ground below causing the child to fall also to his death. When the police show up the officer asks the priest, " Do you know his name?" The priest sadly says, " No, but his face rings a bell."

An old guy walks into a church...

"- Father, I'm 92 years old, am married to a 70 year old wife and have 3 children, 7 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I gave a ride to 2 young college girls; they were beautiful, nice, modern, you know? After a little chit chat we stop by a motel. I had s**... with each one of them 3 times."
The priest remains silent for a few moments, but seeing that the old guy doesn't have anything else to say, he asks:
"- Are you regretful of your sins?"
"- What sins?"
"- What kind of catholic are you?!"
"- Catholic? Me? I'm an atheist."
"- Then why come here and tell me that story?"
"- I'm telling everybody."

There was a Pastor whose wife was expecting a baby...

... so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the Pastor's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the Pastor's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Pastor stood up and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a gift from God," he said. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
And the congregation said, "Amen."

A woman goes into labor with twins.

She all alone, no husband, but excited to meet her son and daughter. Unfortunately, she has a massive s**... during delivery and falls into a coma*.
She wakes up, miraculously, five years later! She has a million questions: are her babies ok? Who has them? How long has it been?! When she learns her brother took guardianship of her children, she's instantly worried. Her brother is an IDIOT! What kind of mess has he made with them?! God, what did he even name them?!
They bring in her kids. She tentatively asks the little girl, "What's your name?"
"Denise." The little girl offers. The woman is relieved. That's not so bad. It's actually kind of lovely. "And you?" she asks the boy.
"Denephew."

Poor Tommy

The teacher asked her class to write down on a piece of paper the type of work their daddies did.
The children, very excitedly, scribbled their answers
One by one, the teacher asked each child to stand and describe the job.

There was much laughter and screaming, apart from, that is little Tommy.
"Tommy, why do you look so sad?" asked the teacher.
Tommy slowly rose to his feet, and replied: "my dads a stripper in a gay bar".
The other children remained silent as Tommy continued:
"Sometimes, he doesn't come home, and my mummy sits crying, sometimes he sells his body for other mens pleasure."
There were gasps around the classroom, the teacher acted quickly and dismissed the children, telling them to go outside and play.
She then walked up to Tommy, put her arm around him, and asked "is that all true Tommy?
"No not at all miss. He really plays rugby for England, but i was too embarrassed to say"

A mother and her young daughter are going home by taxi at night...

after some time they're passing by the red-light district and the young girl discovers some prostitutes on the street. She asks her mother: "Mom, what are they doing?"
The mother replies: "They're just guarding the parked cars."
The taxi driver intervenes: "Don't let your mother b**... you - they're w**...!"
The mother turns red and sinks down in the back seat annoyed and disappointed by the driver.
A few moments later the little girl asks: "Mom can w**... get children too?"
The mother starts smiling spitefully and looks the driver in the eyes through the driving mirror... "Sure, where else do you think all the taxi drivers come from?"

SCOTCH ??

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked,
"Champagne ?"
"No," said the little boy...
"It's a puppy!"

The Pope is teaching a Sunday school class

"Children" begins the Pope. "Where's Jesus today?"
Little Tommy says: "He's in my heart."
Little Barry says: "He's in Heaven."
Little Davey says: "He's in our bathroom."
The surprised Pope asks Little Davey how he knows this.
"Well," says Little Davey, "every day my Dad bangs on our bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?"

Trump's statement regarding China

Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors all across the country will be plastered with red notices and the empty streets will reek of lingering gunpowder. The people, with nothing to do will turn to day-long drinking and gambling. Children will roam the streets begging for money. So sad."

 

China foreign ministry: "That's Chinese New Year, d**...."

A nun is teaching class in a Catholic children's home.

She asks the students what they want to be when they grow up. One says a teacher, the other says doctor, the other says engineer and so on. Finally the question lands on quiet little girl in the back.
Nun: What would you like to be when you grow up?
Girl: I'm afraid to say it out loud.
Nun: Then come whisper it into my ear.
The girl scurries over and whispers something. The nuns face boils. She is both shocked and horrified. She screams "What did you say?!?!"
The girl startled yells out " I said I want to be a p**...!"
The nun replies relieved " Oh thank the heavens I thought you said Protestant."

The dinner prayer

At dinner, a little boy was asked to lead the family into prayer...
Little Boy: But I dont know how to pray
Dad: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc
Little Boy: "Dear Lord, thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again.
Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor n**... ladies on my daddy's Blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work."

At dinner, Little Johnny was asked to lead the prayer...

"But I don't know how to pray", he replied.
"Just pray for your family, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc...", said his father.
"Okay", the boy said.
"*Dear Lord, thank you for the visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again. Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor ladies on Daddy's Blackberry who do not have any clothes. And provide shelter for the homeless man who uses Mom's room when Daddy is at work. AMEN!*"
**Dinner was canceled!**

Donald Trump is giving a speech at an elementary school

He is trying to explain to these young children what a tragedy is. A young boy asks if his parents dying from a terrible illness is a tragedy.
"No," Trump replies, "I would consider that a great loss"
A young girl asks if a train derailing, killing all 250 people onbard would be a tragedy.
"No, that is what you call an accident." Trump again replies.
"Look, say if I was flying in my presidential jet, and it crashed and I died, then that would be a tragedy."
A little girl responds, "Well I agree, it certainly would be no great loss, nor would it be an accident."

EVOLUTION VS. CREATIONISM

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.

A kid goes to ask his mom...

A mother with 3 children has one of them come up to her and ask
"Mom, why am I nicknamed little dropplet?"
"Well you see son, the day you were born a little drop fell right on your forehead! So thats why."
Little droplet walks out of the room, happy. His brother, little feather, goes in for the same question.
"Mom, why am I nicknamed little feather?"
"Well you see son, the day you were born a little feather fell right on your forehead! So thats why."
Little feather walks out of the room, happy. His brother little brick goes in for the question:
"UHHHH AUGH AUUUUGHHHH AH?"