Little Brother Jokes
95 little brother jokes and hilarious little brother puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about little brother that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Little Brother Short Jokes
Short little brother jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The little brother humour may include short little sister jokes also.
- What is something with 8 eyes, 8 leg, and 8 hands? 8 pirates
My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him. - Why girls don't have willys Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"
- I tickled my little brother's foot I tickled my little brother's foot yesterday and my mom went crazy and said,
"Wait until he is born" - My mom went mental at me for tickling my little brother's feet today - something about waiting until he's born?...
- Little brother told me this joke, genius. "Why did beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"
- I got my little brother a Cisformer for his birthday It's like a transformer, but it starts out as a car and stays that way
- My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet. Apparently I should wait until he is born.
- I tickled my little brothers foot this morning. And my mom went crazy about it. Something about "Waiting until he's born".
- My little brother is extremely proud of this joke. What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights? An Insti-Gator
- My little brother won a goldfish at the local fair. Sadly, the next morning he was floating dead in his little pond. So now I have to look after the fish.
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Little Brother One Liners
Which little brother one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with little brother? I can suggest the ones about little guy and little man.
- I got a ps5 for my little brother. It's the best trade I've ever done.
- I got a ps5 for my little brother best trade I've ever done!
- I got my priest to stop hitting on me. I introduced him to my little brother.
- What do you get when you combine the Rock and E.T.? (From my little brother)
A rocket - Just got a guitar for my little brother. BEST. TRADE. EVER.
- "Mom, I don't like my little brother." "Then just eat the vegetables."
- What is a plumber's favorite vegetable? A leek
*my little brother gave me this - Not learning from mistakes runs in the family. Which is why I have a little brother.
- My dad's favorite composer is Beethoven's little brother... Covetoven. Get it? DO YOU?
- What do you call bread and butter's younger brother? Little brutter.
- A boy wanted a little brother His mother delivered
- "Look, ma, no hands." "Stop insulting your little brother, Billy. He was born this way."
- My little brother asked me if I knew why our dad always hits us. Beats me.
- Did you know Plies had a little brother? His name's Wire Cutters.
- Why does Judge Dredd hate his little brother?
Fun-Filled Little Brother Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about little brother you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean little boy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make little brother pranks.
Jewish Business
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was trudging through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried towards it, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5"
The Taliban shouted, "Infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie! I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK, OK" said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead, and said "Your f***ing brother won't let me in without a tie!"
Probably old, but I got it in email and it made me chuckle.
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her
return, her father cursed her heavily. "Where have ye been all this
time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why
didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother
through?""
The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff... Dad...I became...a p**...."
"Ye what!!? Get outta here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this Catholic family."
"OK, Dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious
fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $2 million savings certificate.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex, And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an
invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" asks Dad.
The girl, crying again answered, "Sniff, sniff...a p**..., Daddy!
Sniff, sniff."
"Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!"
A little joke my 9 year old brother told me
Timmy(brother): Hey Shane, how do you sell a chicken to a deaf person?
Me(Shane): How timmy?
He then proceeds to shout in my face, taking me off-guard
Timmy: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The two troublemakers
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"
Little Timmy and his father are walking in the park
Little Timmy and his father are walking in the park. Timmy sees two dogs h**..., and says, "Dad, what are they doing?" His father looks and says, "Oh, they're making a puppy."
Later that night, Timmy walks into his parents' room and sees mom and dad going at it, and says "Dad, what are you doing??" His Dad says, "Oh, we're making you a baby brother." Timmy says, "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy"
Two scientist walk into a bar...
The bartender asks what they would like to drink. The first scientist says "I'll have a glass of H2O please." The second scientist says "I'll have H2O too." The second scientist dies.
Credit to my little brother. I don't know where he got it from.
A Sunday School Teacher . . .
A Sunday School Teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "Honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.
Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!
Shut up and eat what you're told.
Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!
Shut up and keep swimming.
Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Honestly, I'm scarred.
Mary nursery rhyme
Mary had a little watch,
she swallowed it one day.
Then Mary took a laxative
to pass the time away.
Well, time went on and time went on,
and time still wouldn't pass.
So, if you want to know what time it is,
just look up Mary's ^brother ^in ^Omaha. ^He's ^got ^a ^Rolex.
A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out...
When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed.
Doctor: "We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you"
New Mother: "My brother named them? But he's an idiot! What are their names?"
Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise."
New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. What about my son?"
Doctor: "Denephew."
Playing with my younger brother
So, I was tickling my little brother's feet when mum wakes up and starts giving me a right earful.
Something about "Waiting until he's born".
A guy walks to the pharmacy to buy condoms
A guy goes to the pharmacy. `I need some
condoms for my 11-year-old daughter', he says.
The pharmacist is shocked: `Your daughter is s**... active at 11?'.
The guy says,'Not really, she just lies there
like her little brother
My little sister's sick burn
She's 7, which makes this so much better.
Her: Hey /u/Teeplaysgames, wanna know why Mom named Noah (our brother) Noah?
Me: Sure, why?
Her: Because the first time she saw him, she yelled "NOO! AHHHH!" and the doctor just wrote that down.
Where is god?
Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church. One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, "Where is God?" The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, "Where is God?" The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, "What's wrong?" The crying boy replied, "We're in trouble now! God missing and they think we took him!"
Whats for Dinner
A man kills a Deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his Wife, decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the
meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.
"Well," he said,
"It's what Mummy calls me, sometimes."
The little girl screams to her Brother,
"Don't eat it, it's an a**....."
s**... ed
One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having s**.... He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having s**.... When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"
Jake wanted a brother
Jake had been asking his father for a brother the whole morning. His dad got annoyed so he gave little Jake some seeds.
"Just put these by the window, it attracts the storks!"
A few months later the neigbors had a baby delivered. Little Jake went to the newfound father and said:
"Just so you know, that wasn't because of your seed, it was because of my dad's seed!"
Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives
His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.
When I was a kid my older brother dared me to take a bite of a Monopoly board.
It was a little gamey.
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
-
*My little brother told me this one; hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*
A little girl asks her mother why her name is Feather
"You see, daughter - when you were born, a feather blew in through the window and landed on your head." she replies.
"Then why is my name Leaf?" Asked her little brother. "You see," replied his mother - "when you were born, a leaf blew in through the window and landed on your head."
In comes the youngest brother, and yells:
"BLARRRG BLARR BLARR!"
His mother calmly replies,
"Please be quiet, Refrigerator."
Why was the math book sad?
It had lots of problems.
[My little brother told me this earlier.]
My family and I went to a f**... today. Everyone was weeping and crying except my little brother.
He was dead silent.
A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.
Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs h**...?"
Two little brothers were fighting and arguing...
The first one says: Well, you were adopted!
The second one replied: Well, at least they wanted me!
When I was a little girl, I had a unique medical condition that required me to eat play-doh three times a day to survive.
I was very lucky that my older brother informed me about it and made sure I did it, or I might not be here today.
A Girl Named Texas
A girl named Texas lived with her brother Austin. The two had a father whose favorite knife of his was always left on the counter of his room. One day, Austin, being the little kid he is, grabs the knife and accidentally stabs Texas. The dad comes home from work a few hours later and sees his favorite knife missing. He then asks Austin who was alone with Texas,
"Austin, have you seen my knife"
Austin Replies
"It's Deep In The Heart of Texas"
My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...
...So I slit his t**... while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.
Some life advice.
My parents always gave the best advice "Sometimes we can't fix what is broken, sometimes it's better to make something new"
So they had my little brother.
My little brother swallowed a coin and was to taken to the hospital
When I asked how he is doing, the nurse said "No change yet!"
Peanut allergy
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting -- they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his f**....
My parents just told me they'd love another child. I said, I'd love a little brother or sister!
They said, That's not what we meant.
Homework.
A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."
There was three brothers: Little Tear, Little Feather and Little Brick
One day, Little Tear asked their mom:
— Mommy, why I'm called 'Little Tear'?
Then Mom said:
— That's because when you were born, a tear dropped in your head.
......
So Little Feather asked:
— And why I'm called like that?
— That's because a feather fell on your head when you were born, son.
......
Lastly, Little Brick asked:
— *ANNNNNNNNNNHHHHAOAOAOOA*
One morning, a little girl goes into the living room and asks her mother...
"Why did you name me Rose, mom?"
Mom says, "As we we leaving the hospital after you were born, a rose petal fell on your head. So we named you Rose."
The daughter says, "Is that why my little brother is named Leaf and little sister is named Rain?"
"Yes," Mom says. "Exactly."
A fourth child pipes up from beside them. "DARGLE BUBPHHH BIBI MMMMOOMOOO!"
"Quiet, Brick!" Mom says.
An elementary teacher was talking to her class about safety when crossing the street.
"I used to have a little brother, and on his eighth birthday my parents got him a brand new red bike. He was across the street at his grandmas' when dad wheeled it outside. My brother was so excited that he ran across the street without looking, right in front of a car. The car hit him and he died." One of the children raised his hand and asked, "Where's his bike?"
My little brother asked for a lolly.
I said to him, you may be the same age but it's still i**....
Father's Occupation
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."
A boy went to his father:
Daddy, why don't I have any brothers or sisters?
Well, son, when I was a little boy, just like you, my mom used to tell me that it is alright to make mistakes, as long as you don't make them again.
A mother notices her toddler typing on the keyboard
She tells her older child, Hey look at your little brother type on the keyboard just like daddy!
Her daughter replies, No mommy, he types like you. Daddy uses one hand.
My little brother asked out of nowhere how gay men have s**...
I told him to go ask our uncle, when I was his age he gave me a demonstration.
Jenny was walking home from school one day.
Suddenly she saw her little brother Tom running from school to home. She got worried and asked:
"Tom, why are you running?"
"I'm trying to prevent a fight between two boys"
"And who are those boys?"
"Jeff and I"
So, did you hear about the teacher ...
... who was discussing different jobs held by parents.
When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, And what does your father do?
Oh, he's a magician, replied Johnny.
Really? What's his best trick?
His best trick is sawing people in half.
Wonderful! exclaimed the teacher. Tell me, are there any more children in your family?
Yes ma'am, I have a half brother and two half sisters.
I just found out my little brother has been forced to smoke at school by some mad french foreign exchange student.
It was Pierre pressure
A very little girl enters a room where her father and elder brother were talking.
"Hi Papa!" the girl says.
"Good morning, Promises." The father replies.
"Papa, why is brother sad?" Promises asks.
"Condoms just found out that I named you two after things that I have broken."
It's a little known fact that Genghis Khan had a brother.
Unfortunately his brother had a terrible skin condition and was banished from his people. Eventually he ended up in Ireland where he was known as l**... Kahn.
My mom was telling my little brother about the food she ordered....
she said it had a middle eastern flavor to it. I then said said He doesn't even know what that means! To which he replied, Yes I do, it just means there's a bomb in it.
A little girl ask to her mom: "mom, why am I named Rosa?"
And her mom said: "because when you were born a rose fell on you head"
Her sister Daisy heatrs this and ask: "why is my name Daisy?"
And her mom said: because when you were born a daisy fell in your head"
When their brother Brick heard this, he ask: "GHTAKNDIALFJKQODK"
My little brother doesn't have knees anymore.
Apparently they meant kids knees instead of kidneys.
This joke is translated from my language.
There was a kid named daisy who went to her parents and asked them a question.
Daisy: hey dad why am I named daisy?
Dad: because when you were first born a daisy fell on your little head.
So her brother who is named bricks went to the dad and said: wnaopa wabwkla woplrn
Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church.
One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, "Where is God?" The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, "Where is God?" The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, "What's wrong?" The crying boy replied, "We're in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him.
Little Johnny goes to his mother and asks"mom did you say my baby brother is an angel?"
-Yes, he is
+Then why didn't he fly when I threw him out from the balcony?
Because it's my Cake Day, I'll tell you a cake joke my little brother (10) told me
It's a Dutch joke but I'll try to explain
So I had made a cake recently, and it just stood there on the table. So my little brother comes up to me and says; 'Kijk daar!' (Look over there) while pointing at the cake. So when I looked at it he says; 'haha je keek' (haha you looked)
Keek = looked but it is pronounced as cake
One day I convinced my brother to s**... a torch
It was worth it just to see his little face light up
My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together
We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.
It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular f**....
Two guys who just met at a training class are driving through the city looking for a place to have lunch.
The guy driving is running every red light. The other guy is starting to freak out and says, "Dude?! What the h**... are you doing going through those red lights??" The guy driving says, "Its okay, my brother in law does it all the time." The passenger says, "Well its not okay with me, let me out up here!" They drive a little further up the road and the driver stops at a green light. The passenger says, "Why are you stopped? The light is green." The driver says, "My brother in law might be coming through."
Johnny's Brother…
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
He asked his mom, "Where'd you get him?"
His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."
Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!!
Little Johnny, the magician's son
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the schoolteacher.
"He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher.
"He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny.
"Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."
Don't Eat It
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an a**...!
At what time do ducks get up?
They get up at the quack of dawn.
This was a joke my little brother made.
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house the week before Christmas.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers.
The younger boy began praying at the top of his voice. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE!"
the older brother leaned over and nudged his younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
"No, but Grandma is!" the little brother replied
Two little kids.....
aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear. So the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, Okay, you say a**...' and I'll say h**....'
All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast. Aw, h**..., says the eight-year-old, gimme some Cheerios. His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. What'll you have?
I dunno, quavers the six-year-old, but you can bet your a**... it ain't gonna be Cheerios.
Elise heard her little brother sniffling in the next room, so she went over and asked him what was wrong.
I'm just having a bit of a cry sis, he said.
