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Litres Jokes

37 litres jokes and hilarious litres puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about litres that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Litres Short Jokes

Short litres jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The litres humour may include short metres jokes also.

  1. "doctor, my husband thinks he is a car. First he drinks five litres of gasoline abd then he runs 20km." "I understand your concern." Said the doctor "With 5 litres he should run atleast 50km."
  2. The last thing that my grandfather said before he died was Pints! Litres! Gallons! That spoke volumes.
  3. A Scottish man walks store... He asked for 15 litres of the best whiskey the clerk has. "Did you bring a container for this?" The clerk asks. "You're speaking to it."
  4. The last thing my grandfather said to me was Pints! Litres! Gallons! That spoke volumes.
  5. Terrorists have kidnapped our beloved "supreme leader". Now they are demanding 1 billion or they will burn him with petrol. Please donate whatever you can.
    P.S. I ve donated 5 litres.
  6. A woman who drank 10 litres of Coca Cola every day has died. She ate a Mentos and they found her head 3 blocks away
  7. What's grey and comes in litres? An elephant.
    Apologies if this is a repost - heard it yesterday and had to share.
  8. What's heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane ? (Substitute 'litre' for 'gallon' if reading outside of USA) Water because butane is a lighter fluid
  9. Bought a litre of tip-ex today. Huge mistake.
    (in honour of all the dads out there, happy fathers day - UK)
  10. Inspired by a recent ELI5: "Why is milk measured in gallons and soda in litres", I present this oldie... Q: What comes in quarts?
    .
    .
    A: Elephants

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Litres One Liners

Which litres one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with litres? I can suggest the ones about kilograms and kilos.

  1. The last thing my grandfather told me was Quarts! Litres! Gallons! That spoke volumes.
  2. A Big Gulp in a North Korean 7-11 should be called a "Supreme Litre."
  3. Why is the United States always in political disarray? It's a nation without a litre.
  4. Bought a litre and a half of White-Out/Tipp-Ex Big mistake
  5. I bought 10 litres of Tippex the other day Huge mistake.
  6. Why does North Korea excel at measuring volumes? Because they have a Supreme Litre
  7. I just bought a litre of Tippex... Big mistake
  8. I bought a litre of Tipp-Ex once… Huge mistake.
  9. What is the North Korean equivalent of a Gallon? One Supreme Litre.
  10. I bought a litre of Tipp-ex at the weekend. Big mistake.
  11. What is the water bottle's favorite game to play? Follow the litre.
  12. Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get sick? j**... Can
  13. Who can drink 20 litres of diesel? j**... can!
  14. Who can drink 5 litres of petrol? j**... can.
  15. Who can drink 5 litres of petrol without being sick? j**... can.

Litres joke, Who can drink 5 litres of petrol without being sick?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about litres can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of litres puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Heartwarming Litres Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about litres you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean water bottles jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make litres prank.

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one's mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It's also mine.

The wife came home with four cases of beer,

*The wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, a litre of v**..., two litres of gin, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread*
*"Are we expecting guests?" He asked.*
*"No," she replied.*
*"Then why did you buy so much bread..!!

The CEO of a big company got abducted...

The abductors released a message through the PA system:
"Prepare ten million by noon or we burn him alive!"
The employees frantically decided to gather, and one proposed to pitch in together in order to help out.
Some pitched in five litres, some pitched in ten.

Marsians took an American, a German and a Russian prisoners. They locked each of them in a separate room and gave each one a 10 litre bottle of v**..., stating that that whoever manages to drink all of his will be set free, otherwise they will be executed.

The next morning the Marsians discover the American, dead on the floor, having drunk only 1 litre.
In the next room, the see the German, passed out, having drunk only three litres. They take him to the pit of death where he is executed.
The Russian however, was b**... on the door all night asking for more v**.... He is found hung from a rope, clearly dead. Turns out he dropped his bottle, it smashed and all the v**... spilt out. He couldn't bare the misfortune.

The black and brown cows

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows produce a day?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or brown one?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Also grass.
Interviewer (now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one's mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: That's also mine.

What's the difference?

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer (naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer (now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one's mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It's also mine.

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one's mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It's also mine

Cows

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one's mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It's also mine.

Litres joke, Cows

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these litres jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.