Following is our collection of hannah humor and suddenly one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Literally puns for adults, dirty drastically jokes or clean deny gags for kids.
There is an abundance of priceless jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 58 funniest jokes on literally. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any essentially witze you can hear about literally.
*Ben is in a hurry.*
*Ben is in a coma.*
Because they literally can't even.
Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.
Because there is zero drag.
^^I ^^literally ^^came ^^up ^^with ^^this ^^one ^^2 ^^hours ^^ago.
They just, like, literally can't even
Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.
Because they literally can't even.
A kleptomaniac!
Because they always take things literally.
She said "Get out from under that bed and fight like a man!"
I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW
Because they literally can't even.
Because they literally can't even.
Literally. He can't catch.
He was jack off all trades.
I regretted it literally one minute later.
I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."
Literally the worst mechanic of the Luftwaffe
Because they take things literally.
A literalist takes things literally and a kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
Its literally made of hide.
Because she literally can't even.
I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.
I needed to grab a quick shower as I let him watch cartoons in the living room. When I came out, there was black permanent marker all over my 55 inch TV screen. I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT. Does anyone know what is best used to clean blood out of a carpet?
But I don't need this. There are local singles in my area literally dying to meet me.
Therapist: What brought you two here today?
Her: I hate how he takes things so literally.
Therapist: And you?
Him: A car.
He says, "I can literally walk up to the oval office and say, 'President Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country' and I won't get into any problem at all!"
The Soviet replies, "I can do the exact same, too. I too can literally walk up to the Red Square and say, 'Comrade Brezhnev, I don't like the way President Reagan is running this country' and not get into any problem!"
Because they take everything, literally.
Because there are always taking things... literally.
Because they take everything, literally....
It has literally kept me alive for years.
So my dentist says to me, "you're the cleanest patient I've had all week!"
Then I respond, "Wow I deserve a plaque!"
This literally just happened. She lost it.
Because they literally can't even.
Literally
They take things literally
Because they take everything literally.
It's literally my ONLY flaw.
"What is wrong, my child?" asked God.
"Lord, I am lonely," relplied Adam, "I wish I had a companion."
"Well, I've got just the one for you," said God. "She's perfect! She is lithe and youthful, and shall always remain so. She utters beauty when she speaks, and she listens with attention and compassion. She will desire you as much as you desire her. Adam, she's literally made for you."
"Wow, God, she sounds amazing! But what will this cost me?" Adam asked.
"An arm and a leg, Adam," replied God, "an arm and a leg."
Adam though for a moment and said, "Well, what can I get for just a rib?"
Since they always take things literally.
Apparently he took "When you're here, you're family" too literally.
Google: We really value your privacy
Twitter: We'd never collect anything
Apple: We securely encrypt everything on-device
Facebook: Literally gives you an ad for something you dreamt about
They literally can't even.
Because they take everything literally.
Because they take things literally.
He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.
The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.
"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"
"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "I'M LITERALLY SOAKING!"
They take things literally.
Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep cracks in the Earth's crust. Of course, skeptics accused the cult of being merely generous to a fault.
Guy Chapman
(It literally means "Man Manman")
They take everything literally
Because they take things, Literally
He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
I don't think I ever got over
my grandmother's death when I was a kid.
My grandmother died from a heart attack
during my ninth birthday party.
Literally while she was eating cake.
And I guess that must have screwed me up a little bit.
I mean, I still have birthday parties.
But now I'm just careful what I wish for.
—Anthony Jeselnik
Dishcipline
This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.
The genie says the man may ask him one question, about anything he could possibly imagine, and he will answer truthfully.
The man, amazed, replies, "wow, and you'll know the correct answer to literally any question I ask?"
The genie answers, "yes." And disappears.
It's too catchy. It'll be with you for weeks.
I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW
They always come in Pears...
(Was literally just watching a live stream as I thought of this hopefully it hasn't been done before lol)
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.