Lists Jokes

Funniest Lists Short Jokes

Short lists jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lists humour may include short listed jokes also.

1. I wrote the names of everyone I've unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
2. I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, and my roommate used it to roll his joint. He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.
3. I just read a list of "100 Things To Do Before You Die". I was pretty surprised that "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
4. List if 10 worst dog breeds 1. There
   2. Are
   3. No
   4. Bad
   5. Dog
   6. Breeds
   7. Only
   8. Bad
   9. Owners
   10. Chihuahuas
5. The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140.
6. I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint. He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
7. I should never have given my real email address to Rolex. Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.
8. My dad has a piece of paper where he keeps a list of all his mistakes. He calls it my birth certificate.
9. Homosexuality in Russia is a crime, and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with hundreds of other men. There is a three year waiting list.
10. What is black and white and red all over? At this point, the shorter list would be "what *isn't* black and white and red all over".

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Lists One Liners

Which lists one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lists? I can suggest the ones about items and playlist.

1. My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read any of it.
2. My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt He's high on my list of priorities
3. Pink Panther's TODO list 1. TODO
   2. TODO
   3. TODO TODO TODO TODO TODOOO
4. The Pink Panther's To Do list - To do
   - To do
   - To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo
5. What do you call the list of most grossly obese people in the world? Four-chin 500
6. Did you know the Mods on this sub are actually cows? Evidence listed below. [remooved]
7. Things I hate: lists, Oxford commas, and irony.
8. Everyone has these expansive bucket lists Mine is a little pail in comparison
9. What do you call a book that lists the names of every drug on Earth? Addictionary
10. How does a ghost plan his day? He makes a to-boo list
11. Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list...
12. The last thing I want to do is hurt you But it's still on the list
13. A Spine surgeon's to-do list 1) Get back to work!
14. Why are so many people getting on the Trump train? Because they're on a no fly list.
15. A child with cancer goes skydiving for his bucket list He's now at terminal velocity.

Lists Of Jokes

Here is a list of funny lists of jokes and even better lists of puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I finally crossed running a marathon off my bucket list No chance I was ever going to do it, glad it's gone.
• I am faced with a Christmas dilemma If I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I'll definitely be on the naughty list.
• A wife says to her husband put ketchup on the shopping list . He reluctantly agrees. I can't read it anymore he replies
• Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done. Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
• He's making a list, he's checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's Muslim or nice.
  Donald Trump is coming to town ! 🎶
• Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs
• I'm trying to decide if I should become an athlete or a criminal So I made a list of pros and cons.
• The zipper on my jeans came off just before I was about to get on the plane to go on vacation and the airline wouldn't board me. They said I was on the no fly list.
• Joke my 9 year old daughter, Emma made up: What kind of list does Emma have a hard time with? List-ening!
  (She has ADHD)
• Santa Jingle… He's making a list.
  He's checking it twice.
  Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
  Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679

Cheerful Fun Lists Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about lists you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean titles jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lists pranks.