Liquid Jokes
137 liquid jokes and hilarious liquid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about liquid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for some laughs? This article explores a new kind of joke – liquid-based puns and gags. From liquid diet jokes to witty remarks that involve liquid nitrogen, washing up liquid, spills and bleach, these viscous jokes are enough to put a smile on anyone's face.
Quick Jump To
- Short Liquid Jokes
- Liquid One Liners
- Liquid Solid Jokes
- Solid Liquid Gas Jokes
- Liquid Nitrogen Jokes
- Washing Up Liquid Jokes
- Liquid Diet Jokes
- More Liquid Jokes
Funniest Liquid Short Jokes
Short liquid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The liquid humour may include short fluid jokes also.
- President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states. Solid, liquid and gas.
- What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common? They both slowly remove clogs.
I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold ! - Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in the universe? Before you see it, it's already pasteurized
- A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states Solid, liquid and gas
- A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
- [first day as a bartender] Customer: I'll have a martini, dry Me: [staring at all the liquid ingredients] I don't know how to tell you this
- Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you even see it..
- If you drink the liquid from a Magic 8 ball You can see the future. My brother did and immediately looked at me, said he was going to die, and then he died
- Who was the best financier in the Bible? noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.
- Why was Noah a great economist? He kept his stock afloat while everything else was in liquidation.
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Liquid One Liners
Which liquid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with liquid? I can suggest the ones about solid and glass.
- What's the fastest liquid on Earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
- In which state is the Great Salt lake? Liquid
- There are four states of matter. Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives.
- Milk is the fastest liquid It's pasteurized before you've even seen it
- What is the best thing about liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up.
- If I'm not a solid, a liquid, or a gas, does that mean... ...I don't matter?
- What state is Lake Michigan in? In liquid state 😛
- What type of liquid makes a waterbed the bounciest? Spring water
- Why is milk the fastest liquid? Because its pasteurised before you see it
- In which state does the Mississippi river flow? Liquid.
- What do you call it when a gas turns into a liquid? Sharting
- Why dose the navy use liquid soap? Because it takes longer to pick up.
- Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it.
- Mom: "I regret getting you that blender for your birthday" Me: (with liquid toast): Why?
- Which Science-Fiction author is the best source of liquid mercury? HG Wells.
Liquid Solid Jokes
Here is a list of funny liquid solid jokes and even better liquid solid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There are 5 Types of Matter... Gas
Solid
Liquid
Plasma
and most importantly
Black Lives - Scientists say there are now 4 confirmed states of matter Solid matter
Liquid matter
Gas matter
and most recently...
Black Lives matter - The first three states of matter are liquid, solid, and gas. What are four and five? Nine.
- What did the solid say to the liquid? What's the matter?
- What has gas, liquid and solids on it at the same time? Uranus.
- I heard a boring joke about liquid It's not a solid joke
- What is the most volatile state? Solid, liquid or gaseous? Islamic State.
- How do you explain to someone that ice isn't a liquid? Just give some solid facts.
- An ice cube decided to wear a new hat A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"
The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.
Now he's looking liquid, dude. - What do you call a suspension of solid or liquid particles in laughing gas? Aerolols.
Solid Liquid Gas Jokes
Here is a list of funny solid liquid gas jokes and even better solid liquid gas puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is Metal Gear's Snake's secret? There's a Solid, Liquid, and Solidus Snake. It seems they all passed gas.
- Now that Gay Marriage is legal in all states I can finally get married as a solid, liquid, or gas.
- Physics student asks to go to bathroom Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas"
- What did the solid say to the liquid and the gas? Actually, never mind... It doesn't matter.
- Why did the liquid, solid, and gas disagree on the age of consent? it varies from state to state.
- The Six States of Matter Solid
Liquid
Gas
Plasma
Bose-Einstein Condensate
Black Lives - Scientists have just discovered a new state of matter. Now there's solid, liquid, gas, and Islamic.
- I'm a scientist I'm always trying to guess if it's solid, liquid or gas. When I f**....
Liquid Nitrogen Jokes
Here is a list of funny liquid nitrogen jokes and even better liquid nitrogen puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door. He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!
- A scientist took a selfie while he was drinking liquid nitrogen He was quoted as saying "It was the coolest shot I ever took"
- What do you call an aquarium filled with liquid nitrogen? Oxygen defishent.
- Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw… - What did liquid nitrogen said to a conductor? Good Good
eject those magentic fields boy...
let the electrons flow through you - Did you hear about the new ED treatment using a liquid nitrogen dip? It's a real breakthrough.
- Do you know what's the coolest thing about a science museum? Liquid nitrogen, probably.
- What do you call a wailing child born in a tank of liquid nitrogen? A cryobaby
Washing Up Liquid Jokes
Here is a list of funny washing up liquid jokes and even better washing up liquid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was washing the dishes when a drop of the dishwashing liquid I was using somehow got to my eye. It stung so bad I started crying. I guess this is what they call tears of Joy™.
- I accidentally washed my wallet today... Turns out that's not what my financial advisor meant when he told me to liquidate my assets.
Liquid Diet Jokes
Here is a list of funny liquid diet jokes and even better liquid diet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The bartender asked me if I wanted a menu No thanks, I'm on a liquid diet. *Raises glass*
- What do you call a private investigator who has a completely liquid diet? No-s**... Sherlock
Quirky and Hilarious Liquid Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about liquid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean latex jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make liquid pranks.
A man is in the desert..
and he hasn't drink or eat in a few days. Suddenly, this magical fairy appears, but she has no water or food. She gave him all she could. The man finishes the bottle of warm liquid quickly and asks for another bottle. The fairy gives him another bottle and the man finished it quickly. The man asks for a third bottle, but the fairy says,"Sorry, you'll have to wait until next month."
How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?
One U.S. Liter
Guess who i am
I am a long object. You put me in your mouth and shake me. Then you either s**... or spit out white liquid . Yes, it is me your toothbrush
I accidentally swallowed some Liquid Paper last night
...Today, I woke up with a massive correction.
Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?
Because it's harder to pick up.
What is the tastiest liquid in a fruit?
The IV Drip
What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?
[in]solvent
A bucket goes to the doctor
The bucket was feeling ill, and decided to go to a physician.
The doctor, seeing as this was a new patient, asked him, "tell me about yourself first."
"Well, I can hold about 1/2 a gallon of liquid. I'm 3 years old, and I have to tell you, I feel pretty under the weather."
The doctor replied, "I can tell. You seem to be a little pail."
How do you get liquid into your bodies?
I don't know.
What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?
oink
A girl came to me today...
...and told me she will have s**... with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.
I could tell you that sodium hydroxide is a liquid out of solution.
But then that would be a lye.
What starts with C, ends with T, has U and N in the middle, is really hairy, and has lots of tasty liquid inside? ;)
A coconut.
Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements?
The liter.
When does a gas become a liquid?
When it stains your underwear.
I just fired my liquid measurement calibration manager
He had really poor litership skills.
How do you know when you are going to drown in milk? When its past your eyes!
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
An Indian man is at home...
An Indian man is at home, cooking for his family. He is a very wealthy scientist, so he was able to purchase a tandoor. Tonight he decides to break it in. As he takes his bread out, he notices something strange. It almost falls apart in his hands. As he gets it on the plate, it turns into a viscous liquid. Amazed, he began trying to figure out what this was. After several minutes of keeping his family waiting, he let's out an audible "Aha!" He then proceeds to slam his fist onto the bread. Miraculously, the bread held together and almost seemed to form a solid.
"Just as I thought." He says.
"A Naan-Newtonian Fluid."
A worm munches himself into the center of a cucumber.
He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and t**... into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.
He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."
Why do prisoners prefer liquid soap?
Takes longer to pick up
I put a bunch of X and Y chromosomes into a blender, and made a liquid of them.
It's genderfluid.
I have a dishwashing liquid that attacks grease.
Mostly the uninspired cinematography and John Travolta's singing.
How long will my soup be? I asked the waiter.
"Well liquid takes the shape of its container"
If you have an expensive picture of water...
Would that mean you have a good liquid asset?
An old lady told me this
You know how rubber gloves are made? They hire all kinds of people; black guys, white guys,boys, girls, men, women; and have them all dip their hands in liquid hot rubber. You get all manner of gloves from this. Big ones, small ones, medical gloves, elbow length cleaning gloves. The more durable the glove, the longer they have to hold their hand in the molten rubber.
Betcha can't guess how condoms are made?
v**... isn't a liquid.
It's a solution.
8-ball liquid
Did you know that if you drink the blue liquid that's in those magic 8-ball toys, you can see the future? Trust me, my friend Jack did, and he said he was going to die, and then he did
Upon entering a Chinese restaurant, some Mexicans see several small bottles of black liquid on a table,
o**... picks up a bottle, looks at the label and says, "Yes, you are."
I was arrested for melting money while I was in England
Apparently, I was charged for creating liQuid.
I hope this hasn't been posted, I thought of it the other day.
Do not shampoo in the shower
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
I just bought some Coca Cola stocks.
It's nice to have some liquid assets.
Customer: I'll have a martini, dry
Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don't know how to tell you this
Excuse me, are you a booming real estate property?
because I'm about to pump my liquid assets into you
Did you hear about the message that tricked ice to flash to vapor without first passing through the liquid state?
It was subliminal.
What do you and a punch bowl have in common?
You're both full of red liquid
My friend told me that his DIY liquid rocket made it to space...
I told him to quit being hypergolic.
Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday.
Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.
Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, "A bottle of wine?"
His employees replied, "No."
Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. "A bottle of scotch?"
His employees replied again, "No."
Finally the boss asked, "I give up. What is it?"
His workers responded, "A puppy."
What big, brown, hairy, and has a white liquid inside?
Coconuts
I find myself confused everytime I open a can of Evaporated Milk
There is always liquid in it.
What do you call liquid with electricity going through it?
Watter
That's Milk
Sometimes, I wonder what was going in the mind of the first person, who squeezed a pink, drooping part of a cow's stomach, saw a thick white liquid come out and declared,"I'm gonna drink this."
The other day a mysterious package appeared on my doorstep.
Upon further inspection, I realized it was a large bowl-shaped object with two knobs that controlled the outflow of a liquid. I stood on the doorstep and yelled to my wife to come and look. She told me she had ordered it for the bathroom.
Let that sink in.
If you drink that fluorescent liquid there's inside those party bracelets you can predict the future
My friend just drank 5 of them and said he was going to die, 2 hours later he was dead.
Did you know if you drink the liquid in magic 8 b**... you can tell the future?
My friend said he was going to die then he died (:
I have some great stock tips..
Always keep the simmer low and slow. Save up the odds and ends from veggies. If you're using chicken, skim the fat/floaty bits off to get a clear liquid etc.
If you keep doing this, you end up a bouillonaire.
Butane really is a magical substance
It's a heavy liquid but a lighter fluid
Little Johnny was sitting on the curb
Shaking a bottle of turpentine. The local priest walking by, stopped and asked what he had in the bottle. Johnny said, this is the most powerful liquid in the world, turpentine. The priest said, the most powerful liquid in the world is holy water. A couple drops on a pregnant woman's belly, and she will pass a baby boy . Johnny said, That's nothing! A couple drops of this turpentine on a cat's a**..., it will pass a motorcycle.
I refuse to throw out the liquid on top of my yogurt.
That would be wheystful.
Did you know that milk is thr fastest liquid?
Its pasteur-eyes before you even see it.
