The Best 64 Liquid Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Liquid jokes. There are some liquid draino jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these liquid correction puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Liquid Jokes and Puns

What's the fastest liquid on Earth?

Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

A man is in the desert..

and he hasn't drink or eat in a few days. Suddenly, this magical fairy appears, but she has no water or food. She gave him all she could. The man finishes the bottle of warm liquid quickly and asks for another bottle. The fairy gives him another bottle and the man finished it quickly. The man asks for a third bottle, but the fairy says,"Sorry, you'll have to wait until next month."

How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?

One U.S. Liter

Liquid joke, How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?

Why dose the navy use liquid soap?

Because it takes longer to pick up.

What is the best thing about liquid soap?

It takes longer to pick up.


Guess who i am

I am a long object. You put me in your mouth and shake me. Then you either swallow or spit out white liquid . Yes, it is me your toothbrush

I accidentally swallowed some Liquid Paper last night

...Today, I woke up with a massive correction.

Liquid joke, I accidentally swallowed some Liquid Paper last night

Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

Because it's harder to pick up.

What is the tastiest liquid in a fruit?

The IV Drip

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

They both slowly remove clogs.

I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold !

A bucket goes to the doctor

The bucket was feeling ill, and decided to go to a physician.

The doctor, seeing as this was a new patient, asked him, "tell me about yourself first."

"Well, I can hold about 1/2 a gallon of liquid. I'm 3 years old, and I have to tell you, I feel pretty under the weather."

The doctor replied, "I can tell. You seem to be a little pail."

You can explore liquid viscous reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean liquid watery dad jokes. There are also liquid puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant...

He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."

What is the most volatile state? Solid, liquid or gaseous?

Islamic State.

What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?

oink

Why do sailors use liquid soap?

It takes longer to pick up when they drop it.

A girl came to me today...

...and told me she will have sex with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.

Liquid joke, A girl came to me today...

I could tell you that sodium hydroxide is a liquid out of solution.

But then that would be a lye.

What is Metal Gear's Snake's secret?

There's a Solid, Liquid, and Solidus Snake. It seems they all passed gas.

What starts with C, ends with T, has U and N in the middle, is really hairy, and has lots of tasty liquid inside? ;)

A coconut.


There are four states of matter.

Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives.

There are 5 Types of Matter...

Gas

Solid

Liquid

Plasma

and most importantly
Black Lives

Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements?

The liter.

In which state does the Mississippi river flow?

Liquid.

When does a gas become a liquid?

When it stains your underwear.

Scientists say there are now 4 confirmed states of matter

Solid matter
Liquid matter
Gas matter
and most recently...
Black Lives matter

What has gas, liquid and solids on it at the same time?

Uranus.

An Indian man is at home...

An Indian man is at home, cooking for his family. He is a very wealthy scientist, so he was able to purchase a tandoor. Tonight he decides to break it in. As he takes his bread out, he notices something strange. It almost falls apart in his hands. As he gets it on the plate, it turns into a viscous liquid. Amazed, he began trying to figure out what this was. After several minutes of keeping his family waiting, he let's out an audible "Aha!" He then proceeds to slam his fist onto the bread. Miraculously, the bread held together and almost seemed to form a solid.

"Just as I thought." He says.
"A Naan-Newtonian Fluid."

How do you explain to someone that ice isn't a liquid?

Just give some solid facts.

What do you call it when a gas turns into a liquid?

Sharting

An ice cube decided to wear a new hat

A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"

The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.

Now he's looking liquid, dude.

A worm munches himself into the center of a cucumber.

He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and thrust into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.

He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."

Why do prisoners prefer liquid soap?

Takes longer to pick up

I put a bunch of X and Y chromosomes into a blender, and made a liquid of them.

It's genderfluid.

I have a dishwashing liquid that attacks grease.

Mostly the uninspired cinematography and John Travolta's singing.

The first three states of matter are liquid, solid, and gas. What are four and five?

Nine.

I was washing the dishes when a drop of the dishwashing liquid I was using somehow got to my eye. It stung so bad I started crying.

I guess this is what they call tears of Joy™.

How long will my soup be? I asked the waiter.

"Well liquid takes the shape of its container"

If you have an expensive picture of water...

Would that mean you have a good liquid asset?

An old lady told me this

You know how rubber gloves are made? They hire all kinds of people; black guys, white guys,boys, girls, men, women; and have them all dip their hands in liquid hot rubber. You get all manner of gloves from this. Big ones, small ones, medical gloves, elbow length cleaning gloves. The more durable the glove, the longer they have to hold their hand in the molten rubber.

Betcha can't guess how condoms are made?

Vodka isn't a liquid.

It's a solution.

What did the solid say to the liquid?

What's the matter?

Upon entering a Chinese restaurant, some Mexicans see several small bottles of black liquid on a table,

One guy picks up a bottle, looks at the label and says, "Yes, you are."

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,

"For extra body and volume."

No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads

"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.

I just bought some Coca Cola stocks.

It's nice to have some liquid assets.

Customer: I'll have a martini, dry

Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don't know how to tell you this

Excuse me, are you a booming real estate property?

because I'm about to pump my liquid assets into you

If you drink the liquid from a Magic 8 ball

You can see the future. My brother did and immediately looked at me, said he was going to die, and then he died

Did you hear about the message that tricked ice to flash to vapor without first passing through the liquid state?

It was subliminal.

What do you and a punch bowl have in common?

You're both full of red liquid

Why is milk the fastest liquid?

Because its pasteurised before you see it

My friend told me that his DIY liquid rocket made it to space...

I told him to quit being hypergolic.

Milk is the fastest liquid

It's pasteurized before you've even seen it

Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday.

Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.

Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, "A bottle of wine?"

His employees replied, "No."

Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. "A bottle of scotch?"

His employees replied again, "No."

Finally the boss asked, "I give up. What is it?"

His workers responded, "A puppy."

If I'm not a solid, a liquid, or a gas, does that mean...

...I don't matter?

What big, brown, hairy, and has a white liquid inside?

Coconuts

I find myself confused everytime I open a can of Evaporated Milk

There is always liquid in it.

What do you call an aquarium filled with liquid nitrogen?

Oxygen defishent.

What do you call liquid with electricity going through it?

Watter

That's Milk

Sometimes, I wonder what was going in the mind of the first person, who squeezed a pink, drooping part of a cow's stomach, saw a thick white liquid come out and declared,"I'm gonna drink this."

A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states

Solid, liquid and gas

The other day a mysterious package appeared on my doorstep.

Upon further inspection, I realized it was a large bowl-shaped object with two knobs that controlled the outflow of a liquid. I stood on the doorstep and yelled to my wife to come and look. She told me she had ordered it for the bathroom.

Let that sink in.

Which Science-Fiction author is the best source of liquid mercury?

HG Wells.

If you drink that fluorescent liquid there's inside those party bracelets you can predict the future

My friend just drank 5 of them and said he was going to die, 2 hours later he was dead.

As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door.

He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the liquid detergent jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working liquid cups piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes