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Liposuction Jokes

9 liposuction jokes and hilarious liposuction puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about liposuction that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Entertaining Liposuction Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What is a good liposuction joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

An overweight man goes to the doctor

The doctor says sir we need to talk about your weight. It's been a growing concern and I'm afraid if it gets worse, you'll have some major heart issues. I think it's time we talk about a way for you to lose some weight fast. Would you like to hear about liposuction?
The man goes please, enlighten me

If I had a penny for every time I said "diet starts tomorrow"

I could afford liposuction.

Liposuction surgeons hate her! Learn how this woman lost 250 pounds in just one day with ONE easy trick!

She became widowed

As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone...

...making it a weapon of mass reduction.

Yo mama so fat that Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction.

I hear the best deals on lipo-suction can be found in Great Britain...

...Pound for pound.

An extremely overweight man walked into a busy hospital and asked if they could book him an appointment for liposuction

the doctor replied:
"I'll try but I'm not sure I'll be able to fit you in"

Did you hear about the new deal on liposuction at that British clinic?

each pound is now only $1.33

A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills.

One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?”
God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.”
Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.
She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation, and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?”
God replied, “Shirley! I’m sorry but I didn’t recognize you!”

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Liposuction joke

Liposuction joke