Lions Tigers Jokes

56 lions tigers jokes and hilarious lions tigers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lions tigers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lions Tigers Short Jokes

Short lions tigers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lions tigers humour may include short tigers lions jokes also.

  1. All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose? Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
  2. I have the eye of a tiger, and the heart of a lion. I also have a permanent ban from the zoo, and a few restraining orders
  3. Why are lions more honorable than tigers? A lion wouldn't cheat on his mate, but a Tiger Wood.
  4. TIL a tiger would chase down your vehicle leaving his family behind, but a lion would never do that. Because it would hurt his pride
  5. What's the similarity between a lion and a tiger? They are both lions, except for the tiger.
  6. You are riding a unicorn chasing a rainbow tiger and there is a flying lion behind you. What do you do? Get off the carousal, you're drunk.
  7. Two tigers, two lions and a jaguar have escaped from a zoo in Germany. Someone's let the cats out of the bag.
  8. Why did Tiger Woods get divorced? Because Tiger was a lion cheetah!
  9. Two lions, two tigers and a jaguar enters a bar. The bartender says: Herzlich willkommen.
  10. What did Mufasa say to Simba when he pretended to be a tiger? Grrr, I know you lion.

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Lions Tigers One Liners

Which lions tigers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lions tigers? I can suggest the ones about lion and cheetah and tiger.

  1. A lion would never drive while drunk. But a tiger wood.
  2. A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood
  3. I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  4. A lion wouldn't cheat on its mate But a Tiger Wood
  5. A lion would never cheat on his wife A lion would never cheat on his wife but tiger wood.
  6. A lion would never play golf But a Tiger Wood
  7. I have the eye of the tiger and the heart of a lion. That's why I'm banned from the zoo.
  8. A lion would NEVER cheat on his mate But a Tiger Wood.
  9. The Ohio and Michigan Institute of Lions and Tigers and Bears. OH,MI.
  10. I don't think a lion would play golf But a Tiger Wood
  11. You know a Lion would never play golf. But Tiger Wood.
  12. A lion will never cheat But a tiger wood!
  13. My mommy told me I would grow up to be a big tiger someday... She was lion.
  14. Two lions, two tigers and a jaguar escaped from a zoo... It was a real big cat-astrophe.
  15. A lion wouldn't drunk drive But a tiger wood

Fun-Filled Lions Tigers Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about lions tigers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean three lions jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lions tigers pranks.

Bad Zoo
1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp.
3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat.
4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk.
5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King.
6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot.
7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you.
8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den.
9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit.
10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!

What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.

A man looking for work

A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"

so a man is playing a violin in the middle of the jungle

And a lion comes up and eats him. A tiger comes up and says "hey man why did you do that? It sounded beautiful" and the lion replied

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion.
Ill be here all week...

A lion wouldn't cheat at golf...

But a tiger woods

There once lived a puma (mountain lion) in LA.

This particular cat never really identified herself as a puma, she really felt a closer affinity towards tigers. Being in LA, she convinced herself she could chase her dreams and set off on a journey to find herself and realise her identity.
After swimming across the seven seas, she finally got to India and roamed about the Sunderbans looking for a royal Bengal tiger. When she finally met one, she made her case, pleading the tiger to accept her as a part of the community and promising that she'd be a great tiger.
The tiger, a majestic male, thought about it for a few moments and said,
"No. You'll have to earn your stripes."

I was watching the discovery channel the other day and they said that a lion would never cheat on it's mate...

But a Tiger will.

I know lions wouldn't like to make selfie with me

Hopefully Tiger Wood!

Lions wouldn't pose to make selfie with me

Probably Tiger Wood!

The heart of a lion

I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion, ... and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
-stolen from a random meme

A lion and a tiger make a liger, a whale and dolphin a wolphin, a squid and octopus a scquoctopus. What would a five-year old and a horse be?

Definitely i**....

A tiger, a lion, and a leopard all drive in to work. Only, the leopard's space is always reserved because...

A leopard can't change its' spots.

God asked Adam to name the animals

Adam began to invent names, Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig…
Then God said, You must name the sea animals, too
Adam was tired already, so he said, Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…

A lion, a tiger, a cheetah and a mouse fell in a hole

after trying to get away for hours, they gave up and accepted their fate
soon enough everybody got hungry.
The tiger proposed that they start by eating the weakest animal, the cheetah agreed, but the mouse stood up and said : "if you touch the lion I'll kick you in the nuts"

A lion walks into a bar and says, "I'm not leaving until I'm drunk as a skunk". Then a tiger walks into the bar and says, "I'm not leaving until I'm drunk as a skunk". Then a skunk walks into the bar. Who leaves first?

Everybody else.