Linguistics Jokes
31 linguistics jokes and hilarious linguistics puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about linguistics that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you love language just as much as you love puns? Check out this hilarious list of linguistics jokes to get your Christmas party guests laughing! From computational linguistics wugs to sophomore English proffesors, these jokes are sure to please even the most seasoned linguistics experts.
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Funniest Linguistics Short Jokes
Short linguistics jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The linguistics humour may include short language learning jokes also.
- I asked a linguist, "I'd like to speak to my cat. Can you teach me how?" "For starters," she said, "the h is silent."
- I've decided to put off my gender transition surgery until after I've gotten my linguistics degree I'm a trans later
- A linguist walks into a bar Bartender: Sir, what beer would you like?
Linguist: IPA
Bartender: Oh sorry, \[sɜː, wɒt bɪə wəd jə laɪk\] - For the smart people People who don't know the linguistic difference between Etymology and Entomology really bug me.
- Eating your family is wrong, but eating your wife isn't. This sounds wrong, but I'm no cunning linguist.
- How did the hikers know they'd stumbled into a linguist's campsite? They walked past tents.
- An anti-semantic walks into a synagogue. The linguists in the group are offended and leave.
- If you have ever heard Trump's grammar while he speaks You'd know that he's no cunning linguist.
- What's the difference between Neanderthal man, and Cro-magnon man? Linguistic competence and polychromatic cave paintings.
- A group of linguists at the key note of a conference They started chanting "Speech! Speech! Speech! ..."
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Linguistics One Liners
Which linguistics one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with linguistics? I can suggest the ones about language translation and language.
- What do linguists do when they're feeling naughty? They get into some antics.
- What do you call a linguist's diarrhea? The great bowel shift.
- Why should you date a guy who speaks multiple languages? Because he's a cunning linguist.
- What do you call a world renowned linguist? A figure of speech.
- What do you call a transgender linguist who is never on time? Translate
- How did the linguistics professor punish the late student? He gave him a harsh sentence.
- A Linguist, a musician, and a content creator walk into a bar They all start using slurs
- I was hit on by a linguist the other day She asked me to conjugate, but I had to decline.
- You may be a master debater... But I'm a cunning linguist.
- What is a linguist's favorite kind of beer? An IPA.
- I love linguistics Its the only class where I can talk about vowel movements.
- I'm no linguist, but all Germans really appreciate memes. They always say 'feeling dank'
- What is a linguist's least favorite kind of bread? Whole Wheat.
- Linguistics Student: "What's a glottal fricative?" "*Heavy sigh*"
- What did the Japanese linguist say when he had pumped and dumped a girl? Here-a-Gone-a
Christmas Linguistics Jokes
Here is a list of funny christmas linguistics jokes and even better christmas linguistics puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the linguistic description of sentences like h**... h**... h**...' and 'merry Christmas'? They are both santa clauses.
Charming Humor Linguistics Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about linguistics you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean english language jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make linguistics pranks.
A linguistics professor is lecturing his class
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."
Double Positives.
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
A linguistics professor says
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
I took a girl home last night after telling her I was good with my mouth...
We stayed up all night chatting, she eventually stormed off and I'm not sure why, maybe she doesn't think I'm the cunning linguist I claimed after all?
A professor said that
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
A philosopher, a linguist, and a physicist were asked, "Which of your three fields is the most useful?"
The philosopher said, "What do we mean when we use the word 'useful'?"
The linguist said, "What do *you* mean when you use the word 'useful'?"
The physicist laughed and said, "The answer can be inferred by the uselessness of the other answers."
A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar
They sit down and begin a conversation.
The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"
The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."
The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"
The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"
About Language...
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right."
A linguistics professor is giving a lecture...
She says "Only in few languages, like Russian do two negatives make a positive, but there is not a single language known where two positives make a negative"
A witty student shouts back "yeah right! "
Professor of linguistics
A professor of linguistics was giving a lecture about double negatives he " in some languages double negative means positive but in others double negative means still means negative , but there is no such thing as double positive meaning negative"
A student from the back was heard shouting "yeah right"
Two rights make a wrong
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.
In English , he explained, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However, the professor continued, there is no language where a double positive can form a negative.
A voice from the back of the room interrupted and said yeah, right.
A linguistics professor says during a lecture...
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."