Linguistics Jokes

What are some Linguistics jokes?

A linguistics professor is lecturing his class

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

Double Positives.

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'

A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

A linguistics professor is giving a lecture...

She says "Only in few languages, like Russian do two negatives make a positive, but there is not a single language known where two positives make a negative"
A witty student shouts back "yeah right! "

I've decided to put off my gender transition surgery until after I've gotten my linguistics degree

I'm a trans later

The Pope Dies and Goes to Heaven

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee and, after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.


He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistics master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.


All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An 'R'! They left out the 'R' .


God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R'... the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE."

NSFW During a Linguistics lecture today, the teacher demonstrated how nouns can be turned into verbs;

for example "a brush is used to brush some one". My teacher gazed around the class, asking us for another example.

In retrospect, I don't think she liked the word "fist".

How did the linguistics professor punish the late student?

He gave him a harsh sentence.

My Linguistics Professor walked up to me and said…

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Tri-lingual.

What do you call a person who speaks two languages?

Bi-lingual.

What do you call a person who speaks one language?

American.

I love linguistics

Its the only class where I can talk about vowel movements.

I asked my friend if he preferred prescriptive or descriptive linguistics....

...he said, "It's **pro**scriptive".

Linguistics Student: "What's a glottal fricative?"

"*Heavy sigh*"

A college linguistics club was getting drunk at a bar.

You know they'll be getting into semantics tonight.

What do you call a blind old woman who teaches linguistics?

A Gramma Not-See!

(-_-)

What did the Spanish linguistics project say to the other?

Eyyyy essay

How to make Linguistics jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Linguistics to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Linguistics? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Linguistics pick up lines to share with friends.

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