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Linguist Jokes

56 linguist jokes and hilarious linguist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about linguist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is the ultimate collection of witty, philosophical, and clever anecdotes for cunning linguists and activists alike. From witty one-liners to clever riddles, get ready to be entertained with the best linguist jokes available!

Funniest Linguist Short Jokes

Short linguist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The linguist humour may include short language teacher jokes also.

  1. I asked a linguist, "I'd like to speak to my cat. Can you teach me how?" "For starters," she said, "the h is silent."
  2. I've decided to put off my gender transition surgery until after I've gotten my linguistics degree I'm a trans later
  3. A linguist walks into a bar Bartender: Sir, what beer would you like?
    Linguist: IPA
    Bartender: Oh sorry, \[sɜː, wɒt bɪə wəd jə laɪk\]
  4. For the smart people People who don't know the linguistic difference between Etymology and Entomology really bug me.
  5. Eating your family is wrong, but eating your wife isn't. This sounds wrong, but I'm no cunning linguist.
  6. How did the hikers know they'd stumbled into a linguist's campsite? They walked past tents.
  7. An anti-semantic walks into a synagogue. The linguists in the group are offended and leave.
  8. If you have ever heard Trump's grammar while he speaks You'd know that he's no cunning linguist.
  9. What's the difference between Neanderthal man, and Cro-magnon man? Linguistic competence and polychromatic cave paintings.
  10. A group of linguists at the key note of a conference They started chanting "Speech! Speech! Speech! ..."

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Linguist One Liners

Which linguist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with linguist? I can suggest the ones about logician and bilingual.

  1. What do linguists do when they're feeling naughty? They get into some antics.
  2. What do you call a linguist's diarrhea? The great bowel shift.
  3. Why should you date a guy who speaks multiple languages? Because he's a cunning linguist.
  4. What do you call a world renowned linguist? A figure of speech.
  5. What do you call a transgender linguist who is never on time? Translate
  6. How did the linguistics professor punish the late student? He gave him a harsh sentence.
  7. A Linguist, a musician, and a content creator walk into a bar They all start using slurs
  8. I was hit on by a linguist the other day She asked me to conjugate, but I had to decline.
  9. You may be a master debater... But I'm a cunning linguist.
  10. What is a linguist's favorite kind of beer? An IPA.
  11. I love linguistics Its the only class where I can talk about vowel movements.
  12. I'm no linguist, but all Germans really appreciate memes. They always say 'feeling dank'
  13. What is a linguist's least favorite kind of bread? Whole Wheat.
  14. Linguistics Student: "What's a glottal fricative?" "*Heavy sigh*"
  15. What did the Japanese linguist say when he had pumped and dumped a girl? Here-a-Gone-a

Cunning Linguist Jokes

Here is a list of funny cunning linguist jokes and even better cunning linguist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The silver-tongued lover can always make a woman blush... ... because they're a practiced, cunning linguist.
  • You hear about the new super hero that is also a politician? He can communicate in every language..
    He is..
    The Cunning Linguist
  • What's the best way to get a Punjab in India? Hire a cunning linguist.
  • What do you call a man that can blow a woman's mind with just his tongue? A cunning linguist
  • My friend is a huge hit with the ladies, he is very well spoken. I this it's because he's a cunning linguist.
  • Have you heard that the juridprodence fetisist got off on a technicallity? He was defending a case belonging to the estate of a New York Times Award Winning author, he really was a cunning linguist.
  • I've only ever met one genius writer who could please a woman. He was a real cunning linguist.
  • What do you call the UN translator who quit his job to pursue his dream of becoming a hot dog eating champion? A cunning linguist who became a professional masticator.
  • What do you call someone who is skilled with their mouth? A cunning linguist.
  • I once met a man who could make great puns in 10 languages. I called him a cunning linguist.
Linguist joke, I once met a man who could make great puns in 10 languages.

Entertaining Linguist Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about linguist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean language jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make linguist pranks.

A linguistics professor is lecturing his class

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

Double Positives.

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

A linguistics professor says

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

I took a girl home last night after telling her I was good with my mouth...

We stayed up all night chatting, she eventually stormed off and I'm not sure why, maybe she doesn't think I'm the cunning linguist I claimed after all?

A professor said that

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

A philosopher, a linguist, and a physicist were asked, "Which of your three fields is the most useful?"

The philosopher said, "What do we mean when we use the word 'useful'?"
The linguist said, "What do *you* mean when you use the word 'useful'?"
The physicist laughed and said, "The answer can be inferred by the uselessness of the other answers."

A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar

They sit down and begin a conversation.
The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"
The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."
The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"
The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"

About Language...

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right."

A linguistics professor is giving a lecture...

She says "Only in few languages, like Russian do two negatives make a positive, but there is not a single language known where two positives make a negative"
A witty student shouts back "yeah right! "

Professor of linguistics

A professor of linguistics was giving a lecture about double negatives he " in some languages double negative means positive but in others double negative means still means negative , but there is no such thing as double positive meaning negative"
A student from the back was heard shouting "yeah right"

Two rights make a wrong

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.
In English , he explained, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However, the professor continued, there is no language where a double positive can form a negative.
A voice from the back of the room interrupted and said yeah, right.

A linguistics professor says during a lecture...

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

I wasted my life

I fear I've wasted my life. I spent years and years learning Latin, Spanish, Mandarin, and Swahili but it turns out I just misheard my uncle when I though he told me "girls love a cunning linguist".

The head cook was also a proud linguist. He boasted to his team that he'd finally figured out that champagne and sugar are the only words that sound like "sh" without starting with "sh".

The assistant hesitated for a moment then replied-
.
.
.
"Chef! Are you sure?"

A philosopher says to a linguist...

A philosopher says to a linguist What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes? The linguist replied, They'd be more possessive and have more frequent contractions.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

"In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day...

"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Bubba n' Buford IV

Law enforcement officers in east Texas must also be linguists on occasion just to communicate. Take the time Bubba n' Buford were pulled over outside of Madisonville and the officer walked up and simply said "You boys have any ID?". Now that would seem a simple, clearly understood request...but not in east Texas. Buford with a puzzled look on his face responded "ID 'bout what?"

Someone explain the joke

The linguist's husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised." She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, "No. I am surprised. You are astonished."

Linguist joke, How did the hikers know they'd stumbled into a linguist's campsite?

jokes about linguist