The Best 41 Linguist Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Linguist jokes. There are some linguist frequent jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these linguist ipa puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Linguist Jokes and Puns

I shared a shuttle ride today with a linguist heading to Turkey to study Tuva throat singers. (No joke!) I was reminded of this joke: Two linguists were walking down the street. Which one was the expert in contextually-indicated deixis and anaphoric reference resolution strategies?

The other one.

A linguistics professor is giving a lecture...

She says "Only in few languages, like Russian do two negatives make a positive, but there is not a single language known where two positives make a negative"
A witty student shouts back "yeah right! "

What's the best way to get a Punjab in India?

Hire a cunning linguist.

Linguist joke, What's the best way to get a Punjab in India?

I took a girl home last night after telling her I was good with my mouth...

We stayed up all night chatting, she eventually stormed off and I'm not sure why, maybe she doesn't think I'm the cunning linguist I claimed after all?

A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar

They sit down and begin a conversation.

The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"

The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."

The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"

The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"


A philosopher, a linguist, and a physicist were asked, "Which of your three fields is the most useful?"

The philosopher said, "What do we mean when we use the word 'useful'?"

The linguist said, "What do *you* mean when you use the word 'useful'?"

The physicist laughed and said, "The answer can be inferred by the uselessness of the other answers."

What do you call an American linguist, philosopher, cognitive scientist, logician, political commentator, social justice activist, and anarcho-syndicalist advocate who doesn't eat ham?

NO-HAM CHOMPSKY

Linguist joke, What do you call an American linguist, philosopher, cognitive scientist, logician, political comment

What do you call someone who is skilled with their mouth?

A cunning linguist.

Linguistics Student: "What's a glottal fricative?"

"*Heavy sigh*"

The silver-tongued lover can always make a woman blush...

... because they're a practiced, cunning linguist.

What do you call the UN translator who quit his job to pursue his dream of becoming a hot dog eating champion?

A cunning linguist who became a professional masticator.

You can explore linguist activists reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean linguist derogatory dad jokes. There are also linguist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A linguistics professor is lecturing his class

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

I've only ever met one genius writer who could please a woman.

He was a real cunning linguist.

I became a Musician instead of a Linguist because

I prefer G strings to Dipthongs.

Why should you date a guy who speaks multiple languages?

Because he's a cunning linguist.

Linguist joke, Why should you date a guy who speaks multiple languages?

I'm no linguist, but all Germans really appreciate memes.

They always say 'feeling dank'

Where does a linguist keep their belongings?

In their genitive case

What do you call a world renowned linguist?

A figure of speech.


A philosopher says to a linguist...

A philosopher says to a linguist What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes? The linguist replied, They'd be more possessive and have more frequent contractions.

I was hit on by a linguist the other day

She asked me to conjugate, but I had to decline.

Have you heard that the juridprodence fetisist got off on a technicallity?

He was defending a case belonging to the estate of a New York Times Award Winning author, he really was a cunning linguist.

If Danny Rand learned Chinese at the monastery...

Does that make him a K'un-Lun Linguist?

Teach a man to fish, and he will have food for a lifetime...

but teach a man to ghoti, and he will end up becoming a linguist.

You hear about the new super hero that is also a politician?

He can communicate in every language..

He is..

The Cunning Linguist

How did the linguistics professor punish the late student?

He gave him a harsh sentence.

My friend is a huge hit with the ladies, he is very well spoken.

I this it's because he's a cunning linguist.

How many linguists does it take to screw in a light blub?

Eating your family is wrong, but eating your wife isn't.

This sounds wrong, but I'm no cunning linguist.

My Linguistics Professor walked up to me and said…

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Tri-lingual.

What do you call a person who speaks two languages?

Bi-lingual.

What do you call a person who speaks one language?

American.

What do you call a man that can blow a woman's mind with just his tongue?

A cunning linguist

What did the Japanese linguist say when he had pumped and dumped a girl?

Here-a-Gone-a

What is a linguists favorite cereal?

Synonym toast crunch.

If you have ever heard Trump's grammar while he speaks

You'd know that he's no cunning linguist.

A linguistics professor says

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

I asked a linguist, "I'd like to speak to my cat. Can you teach me how?"

"For starters," she said, "the h is silent."

I wasted my life

I fear I've wasted my life. I spent years and years learning Latin, Spanish, Mandarin, and Swahili but it turns out I just misheard my uncle when I though he told me "girls love a cunning linguist".

The head cook was also a proud linguist. He boasted to his team that he'd finally figured out that champagne and sugar are the only words that sound like "sh" without starting with "sh".

The assistant hesitated for a moment then replied-
.
.
.
"Chef! Are you sure?"

A linguistics professor says during a lecture...

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

You may be a master debater...

But I'm a cunning linguist.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

"In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the linguist linguistic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working linguist adjective piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes