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Lingerie Jokes

61 lingerie jokes and hilarious lingerie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lingerie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This is an article about lingerie jokes. If you are looking for a laugh, then this is the article for you!

Funniest Lingerie Short Jokes

Short lingerie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lingerie humour may include short underwear jokes also.

  1. Did you know that William Shatner once tried to start up his own line of l**... for women? Unfortunately for him, Shatner p**... was a terrible brand name.
  2. It was just announced that William Shatner's womens' l**... company has been discontinued. Apparently "Shatner p**..." isn't a great name for an underwear brand.
  3. I have a friend who works as security at a well-known l**... store. He prefers to say he's part of the Victoria Secret Service.
  4. Sales of William Shatners new line of women's l**... have been shockingly low Maybe Shatner p**... wasn't the best brand name
  5. William Shatner just discontinued his line of ladies l**... Apparently Shatner p**... was not a good choice of name!
  6. The owner of the s**... shop sold some l**... to my girlfriend that has zero s**... appeal. But the l**... is decent.
  7. My favourite type of l**... My favourite type of l**... is when it's on the floor...
    Much to the annoyance of the store clerk
  8. I was in a fancy l**... shop, and I asked the cashier if these knickers were satin.. She said 'no, they're brand new!'
  9. elton John just launched a women's l**... line.. "And you can tell everybody this is your thong"
  10. What's a piece of l**... that reveals more skin than the wearer consciously desired to show? A Freudian slip.

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Lingerie One Liners

Which lingerie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lingerie? I can suggest the ones about underpants and clothing.

  1. Why do nuns wear fancy l**...? Sheer habit.
  2. What do German women's l**... and Africa have in common? Ze-bras!
  3. What's a math teacher's favorite piece of l**...? An alge-bra.
  4. What does a l**... store and a guitar store have in common? They both sell G-strings
  5. What did the French baker buy his wife to surprise her on Valentine's day? BOO-l**...
  6. What kind of l**... attracts the most donations for cam girls? White knighties.
  7. A group of l**... models were protesting They were met with stiff resistance
  8. What's the paradox of l**...'? Done right, it doesn't linger.
  9. What do you call a recliner that's wearing l**...? a La-C-Boy
  10. What do you call a hidden camera in a l**... store dressing room? A booby trap!
  11. What looks even sexier on a woman than l**...? nothing
  12. Why did the nun rob the l**... shop? To support her habit.
  13. Why did the soldiers emerge from the war in l**...? They came out in Triumph.
  14. What did the astronomer say to the telescope in l**...? "Hubble, Hubble."
  15. If love is blind, why is l**... so popular?

Lingerie joke

Share Hilarious Lingerie Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about lingerie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean panties jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lingerie pranks.

So i bought my girlfriend some new s**... l**... for our anniversary. She said, 'I think this is more a gift for you than it is for me'

I said, "Well, if you want to get technical, it was a gift for my last girlfriend"

A middle aged lady decides to revamp her s**... life with her husband.

She asks her friends what she should do and the concensus is to get some s**... l**... and surprise him. So she goes out and buys a lacy bra and crotchless p**.... That night when her husband is in bed watching TV she appears in the doorway wearing the l**... and says 'hey big boy! Fancy some of this?', he looks over casually, his eyes widen, he sits bolt upright in the bed and shouts 'fuck no! Look what it did to your p**...!'.

Two friends are chatting in a bar...

A: I will never understand the way women think.
B: Why do you say that?
A: My wife came home the other day with some revealing l**... and told me "I bought these for you."
B: So?
A: She started yelling at me when I put them on.

I bought my girlfriend l**...

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy l**..., and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Buddy saw me putting on women's l**... after we played racquetball...

He asked, "Cool, since when do you wear s**... women's leggings?"
And I told him, "Ever since my wife found them in the glove box."

One time I went to my gf's house

and she wasn't there. Her sister was there with s**... l**... and she said "I feel something for you and I want to have s**... with you", I was astonished and so I started heading to the car. Then my girlfriend appeared and said "I love you because you didn't cheat on me".
Morale of the story: always have the condoms in your car.

I went to a l**... shop

I picked up some pants and asked them server if they were satin
He said "no they're new"

[OC] My therapist asked me what was my earliest e**... remembrance and I told him it was wearing my mother's l**... when I was a child.

he said it was probably a Freudian slip.

Thinking about opening a l**... shop for plus size women

....... Gonna call it KING thong

One more for the road. Abu Al Abid went to USA for the first time,

He opened a furniture shop & a l**... shop.
In 6 months....
he made a good business.
.
He sends an email to his wife saying:
Please rush, pack up & come to USA,
I sold 100 mattresses and 5000 p**....
I made $100,000.
She replies:
It is better that you close your shop and come back fast.
With 1 mattress & with no p**...
I made $300,000.. ...

My wife met me at the front door wearing s**... l**...

The only trouble was, she was coming home.

(A l**... joke) How does a r**... know how to put on sweatpants?

The cigarette holes go in the front.

Business is going well

A man left his home country of India to go to America in hopes of making money to support his family. He opened a furniture and l**... business and in just 3 months he had made 80,000 dollars.
So he he wrote to his wife saying 'Honey I want you and the kids to come to America, I sold 1500 mattresses and 900 p**... and business is going well!'
The wife wrote back saying 'You should come back to India, with just 1 mattress and no p**... Ive made 500,000 dollars!'

The new fridge is here and we need to get it in but it's heavy - can you get it up?

If you dress it up in s**... black l**..., maybe

William Shatner decides to discontinue womenswear and l**... line.

Apparently Shatner p**... wasn't that big of a hit.
(Credit to KS95)

I was at a l**... store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...

It's called a Freudian Slip.

Did you hear about Captain Kirk's l**... line?

it went bust.
No one wanted to wear shatner p**....

New l**... (sfw)

I'm going to start a new line of high end l**....
It's working title/name is Effrontery
Our naughtiest line of products of course will be called Sheer Effrontery

Two pieces of underwear are hanging on display in a l**... shop. One turns to the other and says:

"I love you brah."

My girlfriend bought some l**...

She said it was for me, but the she got upset when I put it on. I'll never understand women.

The original actor who played Captain Kirk tried to start a Star Trek themed line of women's l**....

But no one would invest in Shatner p**....
(An oldie, but deserved a fresh posting)

My next door neighbour knocked my door last night, wearing l**... and stockings. Asked to borrow a cup of sugar and if I wanted to come over for a night cap

I said, 'Fuck off Dave, I've got work in the b**... morning' .

A woman was working at a l**... counter when a customer approached with a pair of frilly p**....

"I'd like to buy these," she said, "but only if you can embroider 'If you can read this, you're too close' on the back."
So the saleswoman took the p**... to the tailor in the backroom and described the rather unusual request.
The tailor said, "I can do that. Does she want block letters or script?"
Since the saleswoman didn't know, she went back around to the counter, and asked, "Do you want that in block letters or script?" And the customer replied with a smile, "Braille."

A man returns home…

…and finds his wife dressed in a s**... l**....
Wife: You want to change positions tonight?
Husband: Yeah!
Wife: Ok, you do the dishes and I'll sit on the couch and watch Netflix!

Recently I've noticed how hard jokes are to come by

So I've started using the macy's l**... catalog instead

An 85 year old man wanted to spice up his marriage

He went to a l**... shop to get a s**... l**... for his 80 year old wife. He got an expensive one and went home.
Later that night he gave it to his wife and told her to put it on. She went to the bathroom to put it on and found out that it was too small for her. She thought He does not have a great eyesight. I will go n**... and he would not even know . So she entered the bedroom n**....
Her husband looked at her, squinting his eyes and muttered, Well, for the price I paid, they should have atleast ironed it .

Wasted

A woman's husband comes home wasted every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best l**.... She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub. "It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don't we go upstairs to bed?" "We might as well," slurs the husband.
"I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."

I was shopping for l**... for my girlfriend. I asked if their p**... were satin.

They said "No. They're new."

Lingerie joke, I have a friend who works as security at a well-known l**... store.

jokes about lingerie