Liner Jokes

87 liner jokes and hilarious liner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about liner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Liner Short Jokes

Short liner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The liner humour may include short lining jokes also.

  1. Here is the best one liner from the legend, Mitch Hedberg My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
  2. Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
  3. A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The psychiatrist says "Well, I can clearly see youre nuts"
  4. If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends.
  5. I broke up with my girlfriend by text last night, it went pretty ugly... She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...
  6. It's the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in christmas cracker, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets. The real joke is in the comets
  7. My favorite 2 liner Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a few new faces this week and I'm disappointed.
  8. Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.
  9. My friend and I recently watched the Star Wars films back to back in preparation for The Last Jedi... unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the screen.
  10. One liners about professions ? Example, I would have been a doctor but I didn't have the patience. Or, trained as a chiropractor but I couldn't crack it.
    Anyone got any more ?

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Liner One Liners

Which liner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with liner? I can suggest the ones about lined and lane.

  1. Why does Stephen hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up
  2. I recently sold my vaccum. It was just collecting dust.
  3. y = mx + c
  4. Let's face it... That's not the first time Germany has gone into Russia unprepared...
  5. Monorails make decent one-liners
  6. y'all ever heard any monorail jokes? i hear they make good one-liners.
  7. Using single ply toilet paper is the best way of getting in touch with your inner self.
  8. I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work, said the disgusting bartender.
  9. Scientists have discovered that diarrhea runs in the genes.
  10. A cannibal passed a priest in the woods.
  11. One liner What do epileptic vegetarians eat?
    -Seizure Salads
  12. Post your best One-Liner. You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
  13. Who just can't get enough of one liners? Coke addicts.
  14. Girl: "Hey, what's up?"
    Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"
  15. My favourite jokes are one liners about launderettes What can I say, I love dry clean humour.

On Liner Jokes

Here is a list of funny on liner jokes and even better on liner puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Please drop your best one-liner dad jokes below, I need new ones. By one-liner I mean something along the lines of let's make like an Autobot and roll out or put an egg in your shoe and beat it
  • All these contagious people make me sick!
  • Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.
  • Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people apper bright until you hear them speak.
  • You have a striking many times has it been struck?
  • Why does Steven Hawking only speak in one-liners? He can't do stand-up.
  • Hey, why don't you go slip into something a little more a coma!!!!!
  • I recently bought a superconducting electric heater... I was not impressed!
  • Shortest one liner A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  • A baby seal walked into a club.

One Liner Jokes

Here is a list of funny one liner jokes and even better one liner puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I finally found out what trait women find most attractive in a man: The fact that he isn't me.
  • They say one-liners are the lowest form of comedy That's why I only tell my jokes to midgets
  • I can really see myself working in a mirror factory
  • One liner If you hit a person with an electric car will you be charged for battery?
  • A one-liner comedian and a geneticist were planning a family using a pun-net square
  • My favourite jokes are one liners about launderettes What can I say, I love dry clean humour.
  • Have you ever seen an Asian person with Down Syndrome? But then again, how could you tell?
  • One liner a new friend just told me that we both thought was funny Me: I've never met anyone with agoraphobia. Him: You wouldn't
  • Wanna hear a good one liner? 1 Dimension
  • Hey dad if you were a bubble, you could blow yourself.
Liner joke

Passenger Liner Jokes

Here is a list of funny passenger liner jokes and even better passenger liner puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner? The passengers and crew were marooned.
Liner joke, Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner?

Comical & Quirky Liner Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about liner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ledger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make liner pranks.

Roman Numeral

A guy in Rome told me he didn't like my eye liner.

One liner....

A recent survey shows that s**... banks beat blood banks in contributions...HANDS DOWN!

Cruel One Liner

Yesterday my uncle slipped into a coma; b**... living the dream!

Chemistry One Liner

I'd love to tell you a chemistry joke, but I heard they were argon.
As seen on a bridge at my local university.

Reindeer joke!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

Somewhere off Gilligan's Island...

On a Christmas cruise on a luxury ocean liner in the Pacific,
a passenger sees seven straggly people on a small island
jumping up and down and waving their hands and shouting.
"Who are they?" the passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. But each year when we pass, they go nuts."

Dirty f**... one liner

The hardest part of being into double p**..., is that you have to get two people into it.

One liner. I have a cold.

The stuff that's coming out of my nose could turn turtles into ninjas.

I need help thinking of a joke involving supernatural creatures

It needs to be a one or two liner, no knock knock jokes or riddles.
Context: I'm working at a summer camp and my call sign is Ghost. Tomorrow morning at the assembly, I'm going up and giving some world news (spoofs, not actual news). I want to say "hey guys, I'm Ghost with all your *other*worldly news", but I'm having trouble thinking of what to say after that. Any ideas would be great.

(meta) About the direction this sub is going

Every top post I see from this sub now is a basic one liner, and half of them aren't even that good. While I appreciate a good simple joke as much as the next person, there needs to be a good mixture that include actual story jokes with a true set up and punchline.

Submit your best! (Puns)

What are your best one or two liner PUNS?

One liner

So two law students walk into a bar

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

What's a pirates favorite letter?

You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!'
Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes

Funny one liner

if the purpose of technology is to make our lives easier, then i need a "voice-based-auto-adjustable-underwear".

One liners are great.

Two liners are better.

What's funnier than a one liner?

A two liner.

One liners

I'm at a VFW and I want dirty raunchy one liners to tell, racism allowed

what's your best oscar one liner?

tell me.

I was going to run out of the way from the tornado

But then I realized it was turning.
A bastardized one liner from /u/SkidMark_wahlberg comment.

Grow it out for the summer

Nice one liner I thought of today-
What do you think? Should I grow my wrists out for the summer? Or cut them now?

one liner

An old lady died while she was young!

[One Liner] You can't blame vending machines for killing more people than sharks...

Imagine if people were pushing YOUR b**... all the time.

Any joke can be a one liner

^^^^^^^if ^^^^^^^you ^^^^^^^write ^^^^^^^small ^^^^^^^enough.

One Liner: With everything that Hillary Clinton says, at least we know she's not Aes Sedai.

Because she lies.

One liner

I'm an immigrant, you're an immigrant. we should be friends with benefits.

What's the best one liner you've heard?

Had this dropped on me at work today.
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Math one liner

All prime numbers are odd except one.

What did the American mobile tower on the coast say about the foreign cruise liner?

I will not sync with this ship.

I've never met someone who's good at frisbee and thought "he's the type of person I'd want to hang out with"

Standup 1 liner throwin out there

A man is on a fancy cruise ship...

And he says, I really like this one liner!

TIL: The Titanic was not just a passenger liner, but also a cargo ship

Among other things, it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise bound for Mexico. When Mexico heard that they would not receive it, they understandably upset, and decided to name a day in memorial of it. They called this day Cinco de Mayo.

I came up with the best clickbait one liner


What did they say about the jacket that had lost it's liner?

It was a shell of its former self

Do you all have time for a the joke about the world's fastest cruise ship?

Don't worry, it's a quick one liner.

[Joke Request] jokes about being first.

I'm sorry if this is against the rules but I'm first to speak at a speech I have to give and I was looking for a one liner I could introduce myself with. It should be something related to being first because my name is Alex and it's in alphabetical order.

Jokes about c**... do not make me laugh

But a good one liner will make me snort

What is La-Z-Boy's actual name?

Rick Liner

Liner joke, One liner

jokes about liner