Line Succession Jokes

10 line succession jokes and hilarious line succession puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about line succession that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Unearthly Funniest Line Succession Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What is a good line succession joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

My father wants me to treat him like a king

So I stabbed him while he was sleeping. The succession line has to go on, dad.

The line "Do you come here often?"

Has a zero percent success rate at the abortion clinic.

Are pickup lines considered "Dad Jokes"?

If they're successful...yes.

I was bullied a lot in school.

Eventually I went on to musical success. Years down the line, I stopped in my hometown to do a show. It turned out the biggest of my bullies was hired to handle my displays.
I watched for a while as he tried to put up some cardboard cutouts of myself. Every time he would set one up, another one fell over.
Now that I'm in charge, he can't stand up two me's.

A clinic was trialling a new, cheap way to numb a patient for surgery.

The new method involved blunt force trauma to the patient's head.
The strategy was such a success that people would line up around the block to receive the new anaesthetic.
A man asked the doctor what the line was for.
The doctor replied "that's the punchline."

My clothing line for children wasn't very successful.

Shouldn't have called it Hang Ten Kids.

A guy was talking to a girl....

Guy: Hey Babe, are you a Coca Cola?
Girl: No, why do you ask?
Guy: Because you Open Happiness
(credit to my friend who successfully used this as a pick up line)

A man runs a business to hurt people

The business is a simple one, you pay the man $5 and he hurts you in any way you want. If you want him to slap you he'll do it, if you want him to shoot you in the foot, he will do it. Now his business started to pick up speed and then after a month of his business being successful he starts to notice that he isn't making as much money. He starts looking at the lines over the next month each of them dwindling.
He finally knew his business had fallen when he realized, there was no punch line.

12 Shots

A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up twelve shots of whiskey. The bartender places twelve shot glasses on the table and begins to fill them.
Halfway through, the man starts grabbing the shots and slamming them back in rapid succession, finishing the last one just after the bartender poured it.
"Wow, buddy, I've never seen anybody take so many shots so quickly." the bartender remarked.
"Hey, if you had what I had you'd be drinking just as quick." the man replied.
"Oh," said the bartender, "what do you have?"
"About two bucks."

A bus full of ugly people get into a car c**.....

causing everyone on the bus to die
Because everyone on the bus had done nothing wrong in their life, god decided they would be allowed into heaven. As a bonus, he would give them all one free wish
As the first of the really ugly people entered heaven, god had asked what his wish was. After thinking for a moment about what he wanted most, he told god be wished to look beautiful. God had made his wish come true and he was an incredible sight to look at. He had never been so happy in his life.
Inspired by his success everyone else started following his lead and made the same wish. Everyone was celebrating as they entered heaven looking beautiful after being made fun of for all their lives.
When the last person in line had arrived, he had walked in laughing. God asked him why he was laughing and what his wish would be.
With a smile on his face, the last man had said "I wish they were all ugly again."

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