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Line Of Duty Jokes

10 line of duty jokes and hilarious line of duty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about line of duty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Line Of Duty Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good line of duty joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

All Men Go to Heaven...

...and upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells the recently departed to form two lines: one for the 'man of the house'; and a second for those obedient and dutiful to their wives. The first line had only 1 man standing in it, while the second line was miles long.
St. Peter turns to the one man standing in the first line and asks, "Man, how did you end up in this line?!"
To which the man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to e**... new recruits to the mess hall.

After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them
"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!
Eat up!
Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"
Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"

If World War 3 happens...

At least we will finally get some more decent Call of Duty Games.
It's a silver lining in the clouds.

Last night my father died in the line of duty.

Haha... Line of dooty...

What do you call motorcycle police men who get killed in the line of duty?

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So Moses decides to become a superhero...

...he creates a costume and calls himself The Crimson Crusader, with a crimson coloured 'C' on his belt. In line with his new superhero duties, he goes out to look for trouble and sure enough, he sees a man getting beat up by a gang of thugs. Moses approaches the thugs and attempts to engage in contact, however he is too weak and the thugs overpower him as well. Moses manages to escape the brawl and throws his belt with the Crimson 'C' on the floor. Suddenly, Moses becomes powerful and defeats the gang of thugs with ease. The man is grateful and asks Moses, "What happened? How did you get stronger so quickly?"
"Well" Moses replied, "I just parted with the red C."

The sailor's birthday

Because of a minor infraction, a sailor aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."
As July 22 approached, his excitement increased. When he went to bed on July 21, he happily repeated, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."
The next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the international date line -- and it was July 23.

The Woman in a Coma

A woman has been on a coma for almost 3 years following a tragic accident. Her husband couldn't let go so he decided to just keep her on life support. One day, as the nurse on duty was giving her a bed bath, she noticed a slight response from the monitors hooked onto the woman everytime she wipes her privates. She immediately informed the attending physician who in turn called the husband. When the husband arrived the doctor told him that there may still be hope, and o**... s**... might revive his wife. The doctor led the husband to his wife's room and left him to do the job in private. After 20 minutes the alarms sounded and the doctor and the nurses quickly rushed into the woman's room. What they found was a flat line, her husband zipping up his pants saying:"I think she choked.."

Tickle Me Elmo

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee.
He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.
Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

Three highly decorated police officers die in a wild shoot out with narcotics dealers and go to heaven.
God greets them and asks, "When you are laid out in your casket, and your fellow officers and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first cop says, "I would like to hear them say, that I was the bravest cop on the force."
The second police officer says, "I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty."
The last cop replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!"

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