Lincoln Theater Jokes

17 lincoln theater jokes and hilarious lincoln theater puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lincoln theater that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lincoln Theater Short Jokes

Short lincoln theater jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lincoln theater humour may include short movie theater jokes also.

  1. My sister is a theater teacher and asked her class, "What would the world be like without theater?" One of her students replied, "Well, Abraham Lincoln would've lived a bit longer."
  2. "Lincoln" grossed $275,000,000 in movie theaters Which is ironic since historically Lincoln doesn't do too well in theaters
  3. I visited ford's theater on vacation Is it wrong that I got a Lincoln shot glass from the gift shop?
  4. I heard Abe Lincoln was having a fine old time at Ford's Theater... that is until he asked John Wilkes Booth for a headshot.
  5. Two guys famous for having been shot in theaters . . . . . . Abraham Lincoln, and the guy sitting in front of Peewee Herman

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Lincoln Theater One Liners

Which lincoln theater one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lincoln theater? I can suggest the ones about theater and abraham lincoln.

  1. Why are there not many films about Abraham Lincoln? He doesn't do well in theaters.
  2. I heard Lincoln is doing well in theaters Traditionally, this has not been true.
  3. What did Lincoln say about his experience at Ford theater? He said it was mind blowing.
  4. "The Theater must always be a safe and special place" - Abe Lincoln

Lincoln Theater Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about lincoln theater you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean abe lincoln jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lincoln theater pranks.

Oldy repurposed

Trump was feeling the pressure of the office and stood before the protraits of our greatest leaders.
Looking at Washington, the Donald said:
"George, you were the first. Can you give me some advise?"
A ghostly voice replied
"Tell the truth"
Trump knew that wouldn't work, so next went to Jefferson.
" Tom, you wrote the constitution. Do you have any words for me?"
Another voice said "Be for the people"
As he had always placed himself before everyone, Trump moved on.
He stood before Lincoln and asked " Abe, you are one of the greatest. Can you advise me?"
A new voice drifted by saying
"Go to the Theater"

On the night of his inauguration, Trump is visited by three ghosts.

Early in the night, FDR appears. When Trump asks him how he can make America great, FDR replies Think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets. Trump's face sours, and he yells FAKE NEWS!
A few hours later, he is awakened by George Washington's ghost. Trump asks how can I make America great again? Washington replies I would suggest you never tell a lie , which infuriates Trump.
Around three in the morning, he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Again, he asks how can I make America great again? . Lincoln responds, go to the theater.

Clinton consults the past

Hillary went for a walk one morning and came upon the Washington monument. She asked, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds a ghostly voice replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." She thought about this for a few seconds and continued her walk.
Shortly afterwards she stepped up to the Jefferson Memorial and stopped to ask "Tom, what should I do?" After a few seconds Tom's disembodied voice replied, "Abolish welfare and start over."
She thought about this while continuing on to the Lincoln Memorial, and once again she asked the same question. After a few seconds Abe replied, "Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"

Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House.

She has waited so long…
The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don’t know about that."
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears…
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Jefferson says, "Listen to the people."
"Oh! I really don’t want to do that."
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears…
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."