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Limps Jokes

30 limps jokes and hilarious limps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about limps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Limps Short Jokes

Short limps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The limps humour may include short limping jokes also.

  1. A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split. The attendant began to make it for him and said "Crushed nuts?" And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."
  2. A dog comes limping into the old west salloon. Bartender asks if he can help the dog with anything.
    Dog says, "I'm lookin for the low down rascal who shot my paw."
  3. A man ask someone why he is limping ? - I rode with the British lancers.
    mad laugh ...
    - What’s funny ?
    - What a name Bengal lancers ...
  4. The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble.
    You put it into your shoe.
    It makes you limp.
  5. Have you guys heard about this new birth control method? It's a rock. You put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.
  6. A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon... ...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
  7. A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west... He growls, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
  8. My daughter came limping into the house and said "Dad, I slipped on the sidewalk and hurt my knee". I looked out the window and said... Oh, I C Y
  9. Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill? You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.
  10. A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west and shouts, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"

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Limps One Liners

Which limps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with limps? I can suggest the ones about limbs and no limbs.

  1. What do you call a limp snake? A reptile dysfunction.
  2. What do you call a chinese chap with one leg? Limping
    Thank you, goodnight.
  3. If Fred Durst opened a BBQ restaurant, he'd probably call it... LIMP BRISKET
  4. The newest form of birth control is putting a rock in one shoe... ...It makes you limp.
  5. The best birth control Put a rock in your shoe, it'll make ya limp
  6. What do you call a cookie with erectile dysfunction? A Limp Biscuit
  7. There's a new form of birth control that you put in your shoe... It makes you limp.
  8. How does a male contraceptive pill work? You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.
  9. How are a Cripple and a man with erectile dysfunction similar They both walk with a limp
  10. I sold my soul the other day. Now I walk with a limp.
  11. Which dinosaur walks with a limp? a Myfeetasaur
  12. What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair. Limp biscuit
  13. What do you call a limp and deaf dog? By it's name if it has one
  14. A dog limps into a bar. Says, "I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw".
  15. Just got a cat with a limp Called it Oedipus the needipus.

Limps joke, Just got a cat with a limp

Cheeky Limps Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about limps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean no limb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make limps pranks.

I can tell bad jokes too - A dog limps into a saloon...

As the batwing doors swing closed behind him, the patrons turn to eye the stranger up.
The dog c**... looks around the dim, smoky room and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Dog attack

A guy limps up to a bar. "What happened to you?" the bartender asks. "On the walk over here I was attacked and bitten on the leg by this giant dog," the guy says. "Oh, no! Imagine if it had been a small child!" the bartender exclaims. "Well, I think I could have fought off a small child, Gary," the guy replies.

A dog limps into a bar

The bartender says "What can I get you?" The dog says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Old western stranger

An old man sitting at the edge of an old western town sees a silhouette approaching from the dusty horizon. Its not long before he realizes that it is a 3 legged dog limping toward him. The old man shouts a warning to the dog "we dont take kindly to strangers around here". The 3 legged dog limps like john wayne while slowly raising his gaze up to look straight into the old mans eyes with a piercing stare and says" Im lookin for the man who shot my paw"

A dog limps into a bar...

And the bartender says, "What are you doing here?"
The dog replies, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."

Dog limps into the O.K. Corral.

"I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw."

A 2 legged dog walks into a bar...

He limps up to the bar, and says to the bartender "I'm looking for the guy that shot my paw."

A dog limps into a saloon

The bartender asks "how can I help you?"
The dog replies "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A three-legged dog hobbles into an old western saloon

He limps up to the bartender.
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A dog goes in to a saloon.

He's wearing a 6 gun and a black hat, and his front foot is bandaged. He limps up to the bartender and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

Dog limps into a bar...

Bartender: Can I help you?
Dog: I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw...

Limps joke, Dog limps into a bar...