Limping Jokes
27 limping jokes and hilarious limping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about limping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Limping Short Jokes
Short limping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The limping humour may include short limps jokes also.
- A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split. The attendant began to make it for him and said "Crushed nuts?" And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."
- A dog comes limping into the old west salloon. Bartender asks if he can help the dog with anything.
Dog says, "I'm lookin for the low down rascal who shot my paw." - A man ask someone why he is limping ? - I rode with the British lancers.
mad laugh ...
- What’s funny ?
- What a name Bengal lancers ... - The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble.
You put it into your shoe.
It makes you limp. - Have you guys heard about this new birth control method? It's a rock. You put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.
- A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon... ...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
- A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west... He growls, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
- My daughter came limping into the house and said "Dad, I slipped on the sidewalk and hurt my knee". I looked out the window and said... Oh, I C Y
- Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill? You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.
- A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west and shouts, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"
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Limping One Liners
Which limping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with limping? I can suggest the ones about limb and legged.
- What do you call a limp snake? A reptile dysfunction.
- What do you call a chinese chap with one leg? Limping
Thank you, goodnight. - If Fred Durst opened a BBQ restaurant, he'd probably call it... LIMP BRISKET
- The newest form of birth control is putting a rock in one shoe... ...It makes you limp.
- The best birth control Put a rock in your shoe, it'll make ya limp
- What do you call a cookie with erectile dysfunction? A Limp Biscuit
- There's a new form of birth control that you put in your shoe... It makes you limp.
- How does a male contraceptive pill work? You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.
- How are a Cripple and a man with erectile dysfunction similar They both walk with a limp
- I sold my soul the other day. Now I walk with a limp.
- Which dinosaur walks with a limp? a Myfeetasaur
- What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair. Limp biscuit
- What do you call a limp and deaf dog? By it's name if it has one
- A dog limps into a bar. Says, "I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw".
- Just got a cat with a limp Called it Oedipus the needipus.
Cheerful Fun Limping Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about limping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean amputation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make limping pranks.
Two med students are walking down the street...
When they see an older gentleman limping in front of them. Every time he took a step his right foot would shake.
"I bet it is a degenerative nerve damage issue" says the first one.
"It looks more like a hip joint issue" says the second.
They argue for a while and then decide to ask the man what his problem is.
The gentleman listens to them and then he says:
"I thought it was only a f**..."
An Irish Prayer
May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping.
Old western stranger
An old man sitting at the edge of an old western town sees a silhouette approaching from the dusty horizon. Its not long before he realizes that it is a 3 legged dog limping toward him. The old man shouts a warning to the dog "we dont take kindly to strangers around here". The 3 legged dog limps like john wayne while slowly raising his gaze up to look straight into the old mans eyes with a piercing stare and says" Im lookin for the man who shot my paw"
OG Rolling Stones Joke
I was on another forum, the comments section of a political site. Somebody was talking about how the Rolling Stones still got it despite having gotten a lot older. So people were making up humorous OG-version Stones song titles, like "Limping Jack Flash" and "Gimme Fiber."
And then somebody said it:
>!"Hey! You! Get Offa My Lawn!"!<
A limping dog walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The dog says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Why was the clam limping on Monday morning?
Because he went clubbing at the weekend and pulled a mussel.
What sound does a limping turkey make?
"Wobble wobble"
What do you do when you see your mother-in-law limping around in the garden?
Shoot again
