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Limp Jokes

78 limp jokes and hilarious limp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about limp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the history of "Limp Bizkit" and the associated jokes that come with the term. Learn what it means and why it has been around as a joke for so long. Also, find out how a palate might be involved and why the RSPCA should be involved.

Funniest Limp Short Jokes

Short limp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The limp humour may include short limb jokes also.

  1. A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split. The attendant began to make it for him and said "Crushed nuts?" And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."
  2. A dog comes limping into the old west salloon. Bartender asks if he can help the dog with anything.
    Dog says, "I'm lookin for the low down rascal who shot my paw."
  3. A man ask someone why he is limping ? - I rode with the British lancers.
    mad laugh ...
    - What’s funny ?
    - What a name Bengal lancers ...
  4. The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble.
    You put it into your shoe.
    It makes you limp.
  5. Have you guys heard about this new birth control method? It's a rock. You put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.
  6. A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon... ...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
  7. A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west... He growls, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
  8. My daughter came limping into the house and said "Dad, I slipped on the sidewalk and hurt my knee". I looked out the window and said... Oh, I C Y
  9. Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill? You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.
  10. A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west and shouts, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"

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Limp One Liners

Which limp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with limp? I can suggest the ones about limo and slim.

  1. What do you call a limp snake? A reptile dysfunction.
  2. What do you call a chinese chap with one leg? Limping
    Thank you, goodnight.
  3. If Fred Durst opened a BBQ restaurant, he'd probably call it... LIMP BRISKET
  4. The newest form of birth control is putting a rock in one shoe... ...It makes you limp.
  5. The best birth control Put a rock in your shoe, it'll make ya limp
  6. What do you call a cookie with erectile dysfunction? A Limp Biscuit
  7. There's a new form of birth control that you put in your shoe... It makes you limp.
  8. How does a male contraceptive pill work? You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.
  9. How are a Cripple and a man with erectile dysfunction similar They both walk with a limp
  10. I sold my soul the other day. Now I walk with a limp.
  11. Which dinosaur walks with a limp? a Myfeetasaur
  12. What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair. Limp biscuit
  13. What do you call a limp and deaf dog? By it's name if it has one
  14. A dog limps into a bar. Says, "I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw".
  15. Just got a cat with a limp Called it Oedipus the needipus.

Limp Bizkit Jokes

Here is a list of funny limp bizkit jokes and even better limp bizkit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I remember when I used to hang out with the lead singer for Limp Bizkit... They were the Fredst of times, they were the Durst of times.
  • What's a crippled perons favourite band? Limp Bizkit
  • Limp bizkit rear ended someone at a stop light Onlookers said it looked like he was going to brake, but he just kept rollin rollin rollin rollin.
  • Why did Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit fame) rob the Italian restaurant? He did it all for the gnocchi.
  • My tire went flat But I wrote Limp Bizkit on the side and now it just keeps rollin rollin rollin.
  • What is the most popular Limp Bizkit song amongst videographers? B-Rollin'
  • George Michael was no stranger to controversy but the most unforgivable thing he ever did Was k**... off Limp Bizkit's career
Limp joke, George Michael was no stranger to controversy but the most unforgivable thing he ever did

Cheeky Limp Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about limp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean no limb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make limp pranks.

Did you hear about the storm that walked with a limp?

It needed to use a hurri-cane.

Boudreaux's dead duck

Boudreaux rushed into Doc Robicheaux's office carrying a duck. He gently placed the duck on the exam table, it lay there limp and not moving.
Doc, you gotta help my duck , Boudreaux said.
Doc Robicheaux looked at the duck and shook his head. Boudreaux, your duck is dead , he said.
Doc, you gotta do something - run some test - do something , Boudreaux demanded.
Okay , Doc Robicheaux said.
The Doc whistled and a large black Labrador Retriever came in. The dog sniffed the duck from all sides, looked at the Doc, shook his head from side to side, and went back out.
The Doc made a clicking sound with his tongue and a gray cat came in. The cat jumped on the table and watched the unmoving duck for a couple of minutes, turned to the Doc, shook his head from sided to side, and went back out.
Boudreaux, your duck is dead , Doc Robicheaux told Boudreaux, Dat'll be 125 dollars .
Dat's a lot just to tell me dat my duck's dead , Boudreaux protested.
Boudreaux, I examined the duck and told you it was dead - that woulda been 10 dollars. You're da one dat demanded da Lab-Work and da Cat-Scan , Doc Robicheaux explained.

NFL

Not
Female
Lovers
Nail
Females
Limp
n**...
F…ckig
Liars
Not
Fair
Losers

Have you heard of the new birth control for men?

put a rock in your shoe and it will make you limp

Vet Bill

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."
The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."

What do canes and blue pills have in common?

They're both ready for use when a man is limp.

What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp?

A reptile-dysfunction.

Why does little sally have a limp?

SHE WENT TO JARED!

Why does putting a stone in a mans shoe make the best contraception.

It will make him limp

If you don't have a c**..., put a stone in your shoe..

...it'll make you limp.

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

Limp Biscuit.

What happens you dunk your Digestive in your tea one too many times while listening to rock music?

You get a ... Limp Biscuit!

A new type of male birth control has been made that is placed in one shoe of men.

It makes them limp.

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO h**...!" and walk with a limp.

What's the difference between w**... from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

After s**... some girls walk funny, but

after s**... all guys walk with a limp

Why did the cowboy orphan cat limp into the bar?

He was looking for the man who shot his paw.

My aunt lost a foot when someone dropped a bowling ball on her

Does she walk with a limp?
No, she's just a bit shorter.

What's the difference between Gary Glitter and Buzz from Toy Story?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks in a room.

There's nothing worse than looking down after s**... and seeing that limp, used c**... hanging off your p**...…

Especially when you weren't wearing one when you began.

Why did the cow walk with a limp

She had a new calf

What do you call a BBQ full of w**...?

Limp Brizket

A limping dog walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The dog says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.
Bonus: by u/kismetpink They're straight until I get them wet
Bonus by u/Shaded_Trees: They both go limp after being warmed up

How did the blind skydiver know when he was getting close to the ground?

The leash on his guide dog went limp.

An impotent man shuffles into the doctor's office.

Doctor: excuse me, sir, but why are you shuffling?
Man: Well, you see, ever since I was diagnosed as impotent I've had a limp.

They say that...

Fred Durst tried baking Pillsbury Grands, but in the end... it was a limp biscuit

What do you call a kid with a misshapen skull, a cleft palate, a deformed arm, and a limp?

Names. You call him names.

What do you call it when you own a lizard who is always limp?

A reptile dysfunction.

I thought orthopedic shoes would fix my limp but they didn't work.

I stand corrected.

There is a new male contraceptive device. It's a pill,

you put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

A Guy Walks into a Doctor's Office...

Doc, I've made up my mind, I've thought it over. I want to be castrated!
Doctor stares at him in disbelief,
Are you sure? That is no....
The guy interrupts,
Doc, I'm 100% sure! Let's do it today!
Later, after the procedure, the guy walks out of the hospital with a limp. In the hallway, he meets another man walking with a similar limp.
Just got castrated too, huh? The guy asks. No, i had a circumcision replied the man.
Circum...Oohhh...so that's what it's called!

Why did the limp Donkey cross the road ?..ahh forget it

.. sorry for such a lame a**... joke.

What kind of meat does Fred Durst bbq?

Limp Brisket
(probably not original but I did think of it just now)

Limp joke, What kind of meat does Fred Durst bbq?

jokes about limp