The Best 50 Limp Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Limp jokes. There are some limp weak jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these limp slipper puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Limp Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the storm that walked with a limp?

It needed to use a hurri-cane.

Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill?

You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.

How does a male contraceptive pill work?

You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.

Limp joke, How does a male contraceptive pill work?

A man ask someone why he is limping ?

- I rode with the British lancers.

mad laugh ...

- What’s funny ?

- What a name Bengal lancers ...

The New Men's Birth Control Pill

It's about the size of a marble.

You put it into your shoe.

It makes you limp.

What do canes and blue pills have in common?

They're both ready for use when a man is limp.

I sold my soul the other day.

Now I walk with a limp.

Limp joke, I sold my soul the other day.

Which dinosaur walks with a limp?

a Myfeetasaur

What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp?

A reptile-dysfunction.

Just got a cat with a limp

Called it Oedipus the needipus.

The best birth control

Put a rock in your shoe, it'll make ya limp

You can explore limp rspca reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean limp leggy dad jokes. There are also limp puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Limp bizkit rear ended someone at a stop light

Onlookers said it looked like he was going to brake, but he just kept rollin rollin rollin rollin.

Why does little sally have a limp?


Why does putting a stone in a mans shoe make the best contraception.

It will make him limp

If you don't have a condom, put a stone in your shoe..'ll make you limp.

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

Limp Biscuit.

Limp joke, What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

What happens you dunk your Digestive in your tea one too many times while listening to rock music?

You get a ... Limp Biscuit!

I remember when I used to hang out with the lead singer for Limp Bizkit...

They were the Fredst of times, they were the Durst of times.

A new type of male birth control has been made that is placed in one shoe of men.

It makes them limp.

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp.

Have you tried the new, ultra-realistic vibrator?

"No, how does it work?"
"Right before you climax it comes, goes limp, farts, and turns itself off."

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

After sex some girls walk funny, but

after sex all guys walk with a limp

George Michael was no stranger to controversy but the most unforgivable thing he ever did

Was kicking off Limp Bizkit's career

What do you call a limp and deaf dog?

By it's name if it has one

Why did the cowboy orphan cat limp into the bar?

He was looking for the man who shot his paw.

My aunt lost a foot when someone dropped a bowling ball on her

Does she walk with a limp?

No, she's just a bit shorter.

What's the difference between Gary Glitter and Buzz from Toy Story?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks in a room.

There's nothing worse than looking down after sex and seeing that limp, used condom hanging off your penis…

Especially when you weren't wearing one when you began.

If Fred Durst opened a BBQ restaurant, he'd probably call it...


There's a new form of birth control that you put in your shoe...

It makes you limp.

Why did the cow walk with a limp

She had a new calf

What do you call a BBQ full of wiggers?

Limp Brizket

What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair.

Limp biscuit

A limping dog walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The dog says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

What's a crippled perons favourite band?

Limp Bizkit

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

Bonus: by u/kismetpink They're straight until I get them wet
Bonus by u/Shaded_Trees: They both go limp after being warmed up

How did the blind skydiver know when he was getting close to the ground?

The leash on his guide dog went limp.

What do you call a limp snake?

A reptile dysfunction.

How are a Cripple and a man with erectile dysfunction similar

They both walk with a limp

The newest form of birth control is putting a rock in one shoe...

...It makes you limp.

An impotent man shuffles into the doctor's office.

Doctor: excuse me, sir, but why are you shuffling?
Man: Well, you see, ever since I was diagnosed as impotent I've had a limp.

They say that...

Fred Durst tried baking Pillsbury Grands, but in the end... it was a limp biscuit

What do you call a kid with a misshapen skull, a cleft palate, a deformed arm, and a limp?

Names. You call him names.

What do you call it when you own a lizard who is always limp?

A reptile dysfunction.

I thought orthopedic shoes would fix my limp but they didn't work.

I stand corrected.

There is a new male contraceptive device. It's a pill,

you put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

What do you call a cookie with erectile dysfunction?

A Limp Biscuit

Why did the limp Donkey cross the road ?..ahh forget it

.. sorry for such a lame ass joke.

Have you guys heard about this new birth control method?

It's a rock. You put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the limp lackluster jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working limp lame piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes