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Limit Jokes

181 limit jokes and hilarious limit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about limit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the concept of limits and boundaries in today's society. Topics discussed include "No Limit," "Speed Limit," "Off Limit," "Calculus Limit," "Over the Limit," and "Boundaries." Learn more about what the implications are in terms of checking the boundaries, understanding the axis, and even overstepping the limits.

Funniest Limit Short Jokes

Short limit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The limit humour may include short maximum jokes also.

  1. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
  2. Did you hear what NASA's new slogan will be once their budget is cut? "NASA: The Sky's The Limit"
  3. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve. It was an apple with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte & then everything crashed.
  4. Do you know the oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve? It was an apple, with very limited memory, one byte and everything crashed!
  5. So President Trump wants to abolish the two term limit on the Presidency. Welcome back President Obama we missed you.
  6. I heard that Fortnite put a limit of three outfits for players in Isreal. Jews aren't allowed to have four skins.
  7. So y=e^e^x was hitting on y=e-1/x ... y=e^e^x said, "come with me baby, I'll show you the natural growth of my log". "Sorry", replied y=e-1/x, "but even I have my limits."
  8. They told me to drive it like I stole it So I stayed at the speed limit, followed the road rules and paid attention to my surroundings
  9. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. But my dad crushed those dreams years ago... He'd always say "For you, son, the sky's the limit!"
  10. You have to wonder about the people who go 10 miles below the speed limit. How did they get so far underground?

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Limit One Liners

Which limit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with limit? I can suggest the ones about strict and bound.

  1. My favourite Haiku Space is limited
    In a haiku, so it's hard
    To finish what you
  2. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid, but my mom told me the sky is the limit.
  3. You can't solve every problem with calculus It has its limits
  4. Why was game of thrones banned from twitter? Because twitter has an 140 character limit.
  5. Drinking alcohol is like calculus. You have to know your limits.
  6. I asked a friend if I could copy his calculus homework He told me to know my limits
  7. What is the speed limit of love? 68 because any faster and you eat it.
  8. How do you get a Russian to the legal alcohol limit? Sober him up for a week or two.
  9. I like my women how I like my calculus: With limits.
  10. What's small, very limited, and rarely expands? The Xbox one's exclusives library.
  11. why do white supremacists hate calculus? It really pushed their *limits* on *integration*
  12. What is it called when you are on the edge of WiFi signal range? Router Limits!
  13. What's the speed limit in bed? It's 68. Once you reach 69 you gotta turn around.
  14. Difference Between Stupidity and Intelligence? Intelligence has limits.
  15. There's a limit on how many hearts you can break Its <3

No Limit Jokes

Here is a list of funny no limit jokes and even better no limit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy? "The sky's the limit for you".
  • Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter? There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.
  • Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night Cop said I was deriving over the limit.
  • I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics... But graphing is where I draw the line!
     
     
     
     
     
    Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.
  • I finally bought the limited edition thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
  • I failed Calculus when we reached differentials... I guess I should have known my limits. I could barely derive anything from what the teacher taught us.
  • I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus from Amazon that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
  • Why do accordion bands have a limited number of songs? Because it takes them so long to find the key they’re supposed to be playing in.
  • The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. Surprise, surprise!
    It was an Apple,
    but with limited memory.
    Just one byte,
    and everything crashed.
  • Wife: Slow down! you're going 20 over the speed limit! Husband: you're going just as fast as I am...

Off Limit Jokes

Here is a list of funny off limit jokes and even better off limit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the easiest way to limit overpopulation. Change the the caption from please do not try this at home to please try this at home
  • Yes...First Computer was from Apple The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
  • When I was a child, my father would always tell me, "The sky's the limit!" He was never supportive of my dreams to become an astronaut.
  • Netflix is launching in Russia, but with a very limited catalogue. They're calling it Nyetflix.
  • An Act of Malicious Conpliance Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.
    Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end.
  • College calculus is like a drinking game against a super-heavyweight. Even if you know your limits, you're dead no matter what.
  • Cop gave me a ticket for doing fifteen over the limit. I didn't know radar guns could measure beers.
  • I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday and she said "All I want is a nice card..." "...with a $100,000 limit".
  • Laziness father to his adopted son: "what is the limit of laziness?"
    son: "having an adopted son"
  • When I was a boy, my Dad said to me "Son, you can be anything you want to be, the sky's the limit!" ...which made me sad... .... because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Limit joke, When I was a boy, my Dad said to me "Son, you can be anything you want to be, the sky's the limit!"

Over The Limit Jokes

Here is a list of funny over the limit jokes and even better over the limit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There are two kinds of people in this world 1. Those who can make inferences with limited information.
  • Helium is a limited resource and we could run out of it in our lifetime... Balloon prices are going to go sky high.
  • Two chemists were having lunch. One says to the other, "I thought you were limiting your sodium intake."
    The other one says, "I wanted to, but Na."
  • Why did Robinhood steal from the rich? He actually didn't he instead limited what the working class could trade in stocks in order for the rich to make money. Disney lied.
  • I asked my Dad what I could be when I'm older and he told me "The sky is the limit". It really upset me because I've always wanted to be an astronaut.
  • An infinite number of people walk into a bar The first person orders a beer, the second half a beer, the third a quarter and so on.
    The bartender hands them two beers and says "know your limits".
  • My wife wasn't too happy when I mentioned that our limited budget meant deciding between improving the kitchen plumbing or replacing the pool pump. Its either sink or swim.
  • The last girl I dated was like a loan on the All-New 2020 Silverado during Chevy Truck Month She made herself available for a limited time only, then had 0% interest for 12 months.
  • When I was growing up, my parents would tell me, "The sky is the limit" They weren't supportive of my dreams of becoming an astronaut.
  • Old man An old man got pulled over for going over the speed limit.
    Officer : Do you know why i pulled you over?
    Old man: Obviously because I'm late delivering these donuts.

Speed Limit Jokes

Here is a list of funny speed limit jokes and even better speed limit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • In Germany we have the best street: The Autobahn No speed limit there.
    And we have the best club: Berghain.
    Also no speed limit there.
  • How did Helen Keller lose her right arm? She was trying to read the speed limit sign on the highway.
  • Take One signs are like the speed limit You can go about ten over before you get in trouble
  • What's the difference between the universe and a German Autobahn (highway)? The universe has a speed limit
  • The best thing about the 80 mph speed limit in Idaho? Makes it so much easier to leave
  • What is the speed limit of love? 68 ... any faster and you need to turn around!
  • I once saw a sign that said "Speed limit enforced by aircraft." I'm pretty sure if you're getting pulled over by an F-16, you deserve to be driving that fast.
  • A cab driver in Moscow..... Was driving 20 over the speed limit. The passenger got scared so he asked, "Sir, why are you Russian?"
  • What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common? They didn't know their limits
  • Helen Keller How did Helen Kellers parents punish her??
    Rearrange the house..
    Why was Helen Kellers hand broke?
    Trying to read the speed limit signs going down the road.
Limit joke, Helen Keller

Comical Limit Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about limit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean strain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make limit pranks.

Money was a little tight, so I entered a pun writing contest...

I read the rules carefully, and it turns out that there was no limit on the amount of times you could enter, so I submitted ten separate entries.
I thought my chances were good, but I just looked at the contest winners to see if any of my entries won, and unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

The state trooper is driving down the highway when...

he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times, and then drive away. Two miles down the road he does the same thing. Another two miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the truck driver to explain and the driver says "The load limit is ten tons, and I'm carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I've got to keep some of them flying around."

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving

A couple of nights ago I was out for a few drinks with some pals and had a few too many whiskeys as well as beers and some rather nice claret; but knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home. I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before and have no idea where I got this one.

So a man was driving on the highway with a speed limit of 90

.. but then he noticed that all the other drivers were way above the speed limit so our guy thought "hey everybody's speeding, i cant get caught" so he goes above 110. Ten minutes later, a cop pulls him over.
Clearly upset, our guy says "But officer, i wasn't the only one speeding.. there were a bunch of others too.. why did you catch only me?"
Cop says" Ever gone fishing?"
Guy says yes,
Cop- "ever caught all the fish??"

Bag limit.

A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
...
"What fish?"

A note to the guy behind me driving to work this morning.

Dear guy behind me driving to work this morning,
Don't get mad at me for driving the speed limit. It's there to keep people safe!
And don't get mad at me for not getting out of your way. You don't own the road!
And don't ever flash your lights and honk your horn at others to make them move...geez. Such a rude ambulance driver!

A fancy sports car gets pulled over by a cop

-You've exceeded the speed limit by driving 75 mph!
-Officer, here, take these 300 bucks and buy yourself a decent radar. I never drive slower than 100 mph!

Surgery

After her fifth child, Jane decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her gammon was dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a n**... here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed kebab.
Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.
"Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them". "Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks".
"Ah, that's really nice" said Jane.
"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!".
"Brilliant!" said Jane." "And the third?".
"That's from Eric in the burns unit" said the nurse..............he just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."

A cop parks at the bottom of a bridge, waiting for a speeder. He pulls a man over for doing 40 over the speed limit, and says, "Son, I've been waiting for you all day."

The man quickly responds, "Well, I got here as fast as I could!"

Australians

An australian tourist flies to america. He is unpacking his bags in a hotel, rents a motorcycle and start driving. He goes 70MPH in a 40MPH speed limit roas, whan a cup is telling him to pull over. The police officer yells at him: "What is wrong with you, man?!?! Did you came here to die?!"
"No," the tourist said, "I came here yesterday"

A policeman pulled over a speeding car

turned to the driver and said "Do you understand that you were going 20 km/h over the speed limit down the centre of the road?"
The guy smiles and says "Of course I did, that's what it said to do on my driver's license"
The policeman confused asks "and where does it say that?"
The man hands over the paperwork and points out "There, where it says tear along the dotted line"

Cop joke

If you are driving 70 mph on a 65 speed limit highway a cop will rarely ever pull you over.
If you are driving 75 mph on the same highway a cop might pull you over.
If you are driving 80 mph on the same highway a cop will pull you over.
Now if you are driving 85 mph or higher on the same highway you are probably a cop.

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

She tried to read the speed limit sign.

What's the speed limit to s**...?

68.
Once you go 69 you have to stop and turn around.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

She broke her arm trying to read a speed limit sign.

man I hate tailgaters

I was doing 35 over the limit today and the idiot behind me was still tailgating
and the flashing lights on his car looked s**... too

A relationship with me is like a rollercoaster

It has a weight limit

To limit my smoking...

I only smoke on days that start with 'T'... like Tuesday, Thursday, today, and tomorrow.

An officer stops a speeding automobile on the highway which was driving two times the speed limit.

The driver steps out full of remorse.
"Sorry officer, was I driving too fast?"
"Nah, you were flying too low"

Usain Bolt isn't allowed near any elementary schools.

The speed limit is only 40 kph!

What's the speed limit for s**...?

Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around.

father in law just made an accidental calculus joke

By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit.

A blonde is driving her car and...

...she runs over 20 people while driving.
The officer pulls her up and says "Miss', do you know you just ran over 20 people back there?"
She replies:
"I'm sorry officer, what's the limit?"

A cop sets up a speed trap on a lonely highway.

A cop sets up a speed trap on a lonely highway. After hours of waiting, he finally sees a car speeding down the highway towards him. He clocks the car at nearly double the speed limit, quickly pulls him over and walks up to the driver.
Cop: "I've been waiting for someone like you to come around all day, boy."
Driver: "Well I'm sorry officer, I got here as fast as I could!"

A student calls his college to enrol in a calculus course...

A student calls his college and says "I want to take calculus, but the system won't let me enrol". The woman on the other line looks at his record and says: "it looks like you're already taking a full course load! don't you know what the limit is?", to which he replies:
"That's what I'm trying to find!"

My p**... hair trimming business will limit itself to female customers for the first few months.

I'm new to this, so I don't want to go nuts right away.

Life with me is like a roller coaster.

There's a weight limit.

A cop pulls a driver over for speeding

The driver says, "C'mon, everyone on the road was breaking the speed limit."
The cop nods and says, "Tell me, have you ever been fishing?"
"Yeah... What's that got to do with it?"
"Did you catch *all* the fish?"

What's the speed limit of s**...?

68, because if you go 69 you'll flip over and eat it.

When I was in college, my roommates would have s**... with anything that moved.

I never felt the need to limit myself that much.

What's the easiest way to explain a refractory period to a mathematician?

The function of the limit is the limit of the function.

NASA just received their budget for the year

The sky's the limit

I tried to come up with a math joke...

but all my ideas were derivative
and the punchline didn't add up.
Anyway, comedy has no absolute value.
Your jokes are sum of the best,
but minus not very funny
because I'm a perfect square.
I halve one, I guess...
but you're too obtuse to get it,
and trying to simplify it
has left me divided
and at my limit.

When I was young I told my dad I wanted to be an astronaut...

He said, " The sky's the limit."

My friend wanted to become an astronaut

So I told him that the sky was the limit.

I wanted to be an Astronaut

but my parents told me, "Sky's the limit".

An American guy was pulled over on a highway in Canada...

The cop said "Do you know how fast you were going?!"
The American guy said "I'm not sure why you're even pulling me over, but yes, I was doing 110 - just like the speed limit sign says."

A cosmonaut's s**... story

I always knew that I wanted to be as astronaut , even when I was a little boy. However, I knew my father would not be supportive of me because he would always tell me "The sky's the limit!"

what's the speed limit in Canada?

10 km over

A cop pulls over a couple in a convertible for going way below the speed limit on a highway.

Cop: Are you aware that you were going 17 in a 60 zone?
Driver: No officer, the sign says 17 right there.
Cop: Sir, that's the route sign.
At this point the cop notices that the lady in the passenger seat is frozen in fear, staring forward, and her hair is a mess.
Cop: Sir, is your wife alright?
Driver: Oh, you see, we just got off of i87.
Joke is courtesy of my dad.

Your Mama is so fat that...

...if she were an interstate the speed limit would drop to 55 due to curves.

A guy with a Ferrari

drives his car a bit over the limit. Suddenly he gets pulled over by a policewoman. Knowing he was in trouble, he asks:
"How much?"
The policewoman replies:
"That's gonna be 95 dollars"
To which the man replies:
"Sounds good, get in."

Your mama's so fat

When she stepped on the weighing scale the number that was displayed exceeded the 64-bit limit and went back to zero!
^^^^I'm ^^^^sorry..

so there was a guy who was driving way over the speed limit and a cop pulled him over

and the guy said "what's the problem officer? im completely wreck-less!"

Even though I've had a steady income and have been paying all my bills on time for a while, Visa still doesn't trust me enough to increase my limit.

They don't give me enough credit.

I was once driving down the road..

..where I read a sign which said,
Speed limit 30km
I slowed down to 30km/h
A little further, another one
Speed limit 20km
I had to slow down even more,
Moving on, I saw another one
Speed limit 10km
My speedometer had come down to 10km/h
Not long after that, there was another
Speed limit 1km
I pulled over and started pushing my car to a point where I finally saw the last sign,
Welcome to Speed Limit

I was tailgated going 15 over

I was going 15 over the limit in the fast lane and being tailgated so I moved to the slow lane. The car behind continued to stay on my bumper. I couldn't shake him and was becoming very annoyed.
He looked so ridiculous with his flashing lights and his annoying siren.

A cop pulls a car over for going 20 mph on the highway

The driver is a little old lady, and there are two old ladies in the back seat.
The cop asks, "Why were you driving just 20 miles per hour?"
The old lady responds, "I was just going the posted speed limit!" and points to a sign up ahead.
The cop smiles and says, "That's not the speed limit sign, that's the sign for this highway — Route 20!"
One of the old ladies in the back gasps out, "We tried to tell you, Eugenia!"
The cop takes another look at the old women in the back and sees that they are wide-eyed and disheveled. One of them is tightly gripping the door handle.
"What's the matter?" the cop asks.
She responds, "We just came off of Interstate 190.

I was stopped by a policeman and he asked me why I was speeding.

"Care to explain why you were going double the speed limit?" he asked.
I said, "I'm sorry, but my wife's about to give birth, I must hurry."
"Oh," he hesitated, "are you going to pick her up?"
"No, I'm going to the airport."

How to quit smoking

Friend: My new year resolution for 2018 is to quit smoking.
Me: That's great, I might have a tip for you.
Friend: What is it? Most tips online don't seem to work for me.
Me: It's pretty simple actually. Try to limit your smokes to only after s**.... As you get older, you'll smoke less and less.
Friend: Has it worked for you?
Me: I don't smoke, but my wife has quit smoking ever since we've been married.

When I was younger my mom used to tell me...

"The sky is the limit."
But that really upset me because I wanted to be an astronaut.

A man can only have so much s**....

A man can only have so much s**....
Do you know how to tell when he's nearing his limit?
He says "I do" and puts a ring on the finger of a woman in a fancy white dress.

What's the speed limit for s**...?

68 because at 69 you eat it.

Have you ever heard about the guy who plays fortnite and studies in Oxford?

Jokes have a limit too.

WMDs

Why is everyone always freaking out over possible WMDs in various nations and trying to limit the amount of nuclear arms nations have?
I personally believe they're a blast.

When would a moon made of chocolate and nuts disintegrate?

When it reaches the Ferrero Roche limit!

A warning to be careful about drunk driving..

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many pints before progressing on to Tequila. Not a good idea.
Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the car park and took a taxi home.
On the way home, I passed a police checkpoint on the freeway. The cops were pulling over cars and performing breath tests. Because I was in a taxi, they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as....
I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..

Yo momma so FAT,

She has a 4GB file size limit.

A highway patrolman pulls over an elderly woman for speeding.

"Ma'am," he tells her, "I clocked you doing 72 MPH. The speed limit on this road is 55."
"But, Officer, the sign back there said it was 75!"
"No, Ma'am, that wasn't a speed limit sign, that was the route sign. You're on State Highway 75. I'm sorry for your confusion, but I still have to write you a ticket."
"Oh, that's okay, Sonny; I understand. I'm just glad I didn't run across you back there on Route 135."

Kid flys by a sitting cop car in excess of the speed limit.

Of course the cop chases him and stops him. With a big grin on his face the cop says I've been waiting for you all morning.
And the kid says, " well I got here as fast as I could."

Limit joke, Kid flys by a sitting cop car in excess of the speed limit.

jokes about limit