limericks Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious limericks puns

Dirty limericks? GO! [NSFW]

There once was a girl named Alice

Who used dynamite as a phallus

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Dallas


So you like limericks, huh?

On the Breast of a woman named Gale

was tattooed the price of her tail

and on her behind

for the sake of the blind

was the same information in braile.


There once was a man from Peru,

Whose limericks stopped at line two.


Since we're posting dirty limericks now.....

There once was a man from St. Lou

Who gave his dear sister a screw.

He said with aplomb:

"You're better than Mom."

Said she: "That's what Dad told me too."


Bring on the Limericks!

Belinda, a charming young lass

Had a most magnificent ass.

Twasn't rounded and pink,

As you probably think,

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.


Limericks by Jenny

There was a young woman named Jenny

Whose limericks were not worth a penny.

Oh, the rhyme was all right,

And the meter was tight,

But whenever she tried to write any,

She always wrote one line too many!


A limerick about limericks

There was a young poet from Japan

Whose limericks did not easily scan

When asked why this was,

He said, "It's because

IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."


There once was a man from Nantucket

There once was a man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear were a pussy, I'd fuck it!"


Are limericks okay here?

If so, here goes:

I once knew a hermit named Dave. A dead hooker he kept in a cave. He smiled with glee, as he said to me, "Just think of the money I'll save."


I once knew a hermit named Dave. He dug up a hooker from her grave. She was cold as shit, and missing a tit, but think of the money he'll save.


There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks would never quite scan.

When told this was so,

He said, "Yes, I know...

It's because I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."


Limericks eh?

There once was a fellow named Blair
Who was having his girl on the stair
On the 44th stroke
The banister broke
So he finished her off in the air.


Limericks eh?

There once was a student named Clouse

Who proclaimed to the boys of his house

I will take a firm stand

That a tit in the hand

Is much better than two in the blouse


There once was a man from Peru,

Whose limericks ended at line two


There once was a poet named Stan...

...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"


How do Limericks do here...

There was a Scotsman named McFee,
who got stung on his balls by a bee,
he made tonnes of money,
by producing lots of honey,
every time he went for a pee


Limericks - Share your favorite...I'll start.

My father was always one to tell a joke/limerick or make a sarcastic comment at anyone's expense to get a laugh .. with me being a blonde busty girl commonly I was the butt of the joke.. I have to admit the jokes didn't stick with me but I never forgot the limericks .. in fact I've memorized quite a few. In honor of missing my dad what Limerick's can you guys share? Here's one:

*There once was a hooker named sue,
*Who filled her vagina with glue,
*when you paid to get in she said with a grin,
*you have to pay to get out of it too.


Don't hear many Limerick jokes any more. So I wrote one.

There was a man named Johnathan Hicks,

who liked to write limericks.

But his Poems were crude,

and many lewd,

so his balls were often kicked.


A Limerick

The problem with limericks, my friend;

Is that I can't make it work at the end;

I have a good start;

And get to this part;

But then I'm like "To Hell with this, I don't wanna do this anymore" and the whole thing ends in tragedy


It's time for dirty limericks!

There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.


Limericks eh ?

There was this girl from Boston, Mass.
She wade into the sea and wet her ankles,
it doesn't rhyme now,
but just wait until the tide comes in


A Limerick

There once was a man from the Styx

Who liked to write Limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short


Limerick joke

There was a young man from queen's park
Whose limericks got rather dark
They started out fine
But by the last line
I will kill you in your sleep


Why did Donald Trump cross the road?

To get to the other side of Chris Christie.

From the book:
Donald Trump Is F**king Goofy: Jokes and Limericks


I haven't laughed in years. Puns, limericks, tickling, sitcoms . . . Nothing. I finally went to see a doctor.

Apparently I'm laugh joke intolerant.


I once met a man from Nantucket...

...He didn't understand limericks, either.


There once was a man from Dupree,

Whose limericks ended on line three.
I don't know why,



There once was a priest from Danning,

Who spoke about God and such things.

But his real desire

was a boy in the choir.

Whose ass was like jelly on springs


What are the most funny Limericks jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Limericks? Well, here are the best Limericks dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Limericks pick up lines to share with friends.


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