The Best 44 Limerick Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Limerick jokes. There are some limerick pun jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these limerick lambert puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Limerick Jokes and Puns

Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert

There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock

Limerick

There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh, "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."

My Favorite Limerick

There once was a fellow McSweeney

Who put some gin on his weenie

Just to be couth

He added vermouth

And slipped his girlfriend a martini

Limerick joke, My Favorite Limerick

So you like limericks, huh?

On the Breast of a woman named Gale

was tattooed the price of her tail

and on her behind

for the sake of the blind

was the same information in braile.

Limericks eh?

There once was a fellow named Blair
Who was having his girl on the stair
On the 44th stroke
The banister broke
So he finished her off in the air.


Limericks eh ?

There was this girl from Boston, Mass.
She wade into the sea and wet her ankles,
it doesn't rhyme now,
but just wait until the tide comes in

I see your limerick...

There once was a man from Wheeling
Who pounded his pud with great feeling
And then like a trout
He'd stick his mouth out
And wait for the drops from the ceiling

Limerick joke, I see your limerick...

Another off color limerick

A sperm, alack and forsooth

Was at it's moment of sexual truth

It had hoped to fall

On the womb's spongy wall

But was dashed to it's death on a tooth!

A limerick about limericks

There was a young poet from Japan

Whose limericks did not easily scan

When asked why this was,

He said, "It's because

IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."

Music-related limerick

A tutor who taught on the flute,

tried to teach two young tooters to toot.

Said the two to the tutor,

"Is it harder to toot or,

to tutor two tooters to toot?"

A Halloween Limerick

A lady vampire named Mable

Had a period that was awfully stable.

So once a full moon

She took out her spoon

And drank herself under the table.

You can explore limerick irish reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean limerick puny dad jokes. There are also limerick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A mathematical limerick

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

A Limerick

There once was a man from Port Crown

Who went to a doctor in town.

The doc gave to he

A sup-po-si-to-ry.

"I will not take this sitting down!"

There once was a man from Nantucket...

who didn't know what a limerick was.

A dirty limerick I made up today ...

I once met a girl named Susie.
And, boy, was she a doozie!
She loved me right,
Made it last all night!
And in the morning she blew me!

Vampire limerick

A tad less obvious than most.........

There was a young vampire called Mable,
who's periods were very stable.
Every full moon she would get out a spoon ,
and drink herself under the table.

Limerick joke, Vampire limerick

Here's a limerick I wrote:

There once was a colour named orange,

...Damnit.

Dirty limerick...

There was a girl from Peru

Grammar to her was new

She asked after the deed

With her mouth full of seed

Did I just blow or blew?

Jokes

1. Something said in the pursuit of laughter.

2. A short tale with an end worth laughs after.

3. A noun you expect

commands no respect.

Root word "jocus". This limerick: disaster.


A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

The joke wasn't there because it was busy parking the car

A limerick my Dad told me as kid

In days of old

When nights were cold

And toilets weren't invented

You laid your load beside the road

And walked away contented

A limerick about a vampire named Mable. [NSFW]

There was a young vampire called mable,

whose periods were always quite stable,

at every full moon,

she took out a spoon,

and drank herself under the table.

A limerick, There once was a bishop from kings...

There once was a bishop from Kings,

Who talked about god and such things,

But his real desire,

was a boy in the choir,

with a bottom like jello on springs.

A limerick for The Isle of Skye

When I was on the Isle of Skye
I overdid the old Spanish fly
I had a stiff member
From the fourth of December
Till Friday the tenth of July

lazy limerick

there once was a man from na-fuck it

Limericks by Jenny

There was a young woman named Jenny

Whose limericks were not worth a penny.

Oh, the rhyme was all right,

And the meter was tight,

But whenever she tried to write any,

She always wrote one line too many!

A Dirty Limerick (NSFW)

There once was a girl named Betty,
That said that she loved confetti,
So I shot my man-goo,
Through a fan where it blew,
And sprayed her white as a yeti

For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"

Sorry, did that not make any sense?

How about -

>"A dozen, a gross, and a score,
>
>plus three times the square root of four,
>
>divided by seven,
>
>plus five times eleven,
>
>is nine squared and not a bit more."

A Limerick

There once was a man from the Styx

Who liked to write Limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

A Priest and a Rabbi.

A limerick for ya...

 

_A prep school had come into view..._
_"Yo Rabbi," a Priest said, "woo-hoo!_
_Let's lure them with toys,_
_And then screw little boys"._
_"Out of what?" - the response of the Jew_

There once was a man from Peru

Whose limerick was three lines too few.

A Limerick

There once was a barmaid in Salles,
On her chest wrote the price of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

There once was a lady named Sue...

There once was a lady named Sue

She didn't have much to do

So she pulled out the vacuum

and went to the bathroom

And found a new way to go poo

**I just want to say this is not a repost. I wrote this Limerick, with the exception of the first two lines.*

The limerick is a dying art

It's sad to see these things part
But all trends like gas
Must soon pass
See, I wrote one about a fart

2017 Limerick: There once was a man from Nantucket

Who after several credible accusations of sexual harassment was forced to resign from his position of political power

Naughty Limerick

There was once a man of great fame,

Who thought every beast he could tame.

But deep in his soul,

The man was a troll,

And that's how you just lost the game.

A limerick writ for a Twit

An executive reckless and bitter

Made a fool of himself via Twitter

*"Please stop!"* they entreated

But in answer he Tweeted

*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*

Limerick joke

There was a young man from queen's park
Whose limericks got rather dark
They started out fine
But by the last line
I will kill you in your sleep

A clean Nantucket limerick

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nan tuck it

Limerick

There was a young girl named Sapphire

Who succumbed to her lover's desire.

She said, "It's a sin,

But now that it's in,

Could you shove it a few inches higher?

Lewd Limerick

A bather whose clothing was strewed

By breezes that left her quite nude,

Saw a man come along

And, unless I'm quite wrong,

You expected this line to be lewd.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar

No joke...

A limerick about my life right now

I might soon be resting in clover,

At the end of my days as a rover.

But I'm still not appeased

Whether I've got disease,

Or just that I'm really hungover.

A limerick that I heard years ago

Poor Johnny used to drink
But alas, he drinks no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the limerick dublin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working limerick ireland piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes