The Best 44 Limerick Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Limerick jokes. There are some limerick pun jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these limerick lambert puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Limerick Jokes and Puns
Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert
There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock
Limerick
There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He
Said with a laugh, "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."
My Favorite Limerick
There once was a fellow McSweeney
Who put some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini
So you like limericks, huh?
On the Breast of a woman named Gale
was tattooed the price of her tail
and on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in braile.
Limericks eh?
There once was a fellow named Blair
Who was having his girl on the stair
On the 44th stroke
The banister broke
So he finished her off in the air.
Limericks eh ?
There was this girl from Boston, Mass.
She wade into the sea and wet her ankles,
it doesn't rhyme now,
but just wait until the tide comes in
I see your limerick...
There once was a man from Wheeling
Who pounded his pud with great feeling
And then like a trout
He'd stick his mouth out
And wait for the drops from the ceiling
Another off color limerick
A sperm, alack and forsooth
Was at it's moment of sexual truth
It had hoped to fall
On the womb's spongy wall
But was dashed to it's death on a tooth!
A limerick about limericks
There was a young poet from Japan
Whose limericks did not easily scan
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."
Music-related limerick
A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
A Halloween Limerick
A lady vampire named Mable
Had a period that was awfully stable.
So once a full moon
She took out her spoon
And drank herself under the table.
You can explore limerick irish reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean limerick puny dad jokes. There are also limerick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A mathematical limerick
A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.
A Limerick
There once was a man from Port Crown
Who went to a doctor in town.
The doc gave to he
A sup-po-si-to-ry.
"I will not take this sitting down!"
There once was a man from Nantucket...
who didn't know what a limerick was.
A dirty limerick I made up today ...
I once met a girl named Susie.
And, boy, was she a doozie!
She loved me right,
Made it last all night!
And in the morning she blew me!
Vampire limerick
A tad less obvious than most.........
There was a young vampire called Mable,
who's periods were very stable.
Every full moon she would get out a spoon ,
and drink herself under the table.
Here's a limerick I wrote:
There once was a colour named orange,
...Damnit.
Dirty limerick...
There was a girl from Peru
Grammar to her was new
She asked after the deed
With her mouth full of seed
Did I just blow or blew?
Jokes
1. Something said in the pursuit of laughter.
2. A short tale with an end worth laughs after.
3. A noun you expect
commands no respect.
Root word "jocus". This limerick: disaster.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
The joke wasn't there because it was busy parking the car
A limerick my Dad told me as kid
In days of old
When nights were cold
And toilets weren't invented
You laid your load beside the road
And walked away contented
A limerick about a vampire named Mable. [NSFW]
There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon,
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.
A limerick, There once was a bishop from kings...
There once was a bishop from Kings,
Who talked about god and such things,
But his real desire,
was a boy in the choir,
with a bottom like jello on springs.
A limerick for The Isle of Skye
When I was on the Isle of Skye
I overdid the old Spanish fly
I had a stiff member
From the fourth of December
Till Friday the tenth of July
lazy limerick
there once was a man from na-fuck it
Limericks by Jenny
There was a young woman named Jenny
Whose limericks were not worth a penny.
Oh, the rhyme was all right,
And the meter was tight,
But whenever she tried to write any,
She always wrote one line too many!
A Dirty Limerick (NSFW)
There once was a girl named Betty,
That said that she loved confetti,
So I shot my man-goo,
Through a fan where it blew,
And sprayed her white as a yeti
For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"
Sorry, did that not make any sense?
How about -
>"A dozen, a gross, and a score,
>
>plus three times the square root of four,
>
>divided by seven,
>
>plus five times eleven,
>
>is nine squared and not a bit more."
A Limerick
There once was a man from the Styx
Who liked to write Limericks
But he failed at the sport
Because he wrote them too short
A Priest and a Rabbi.
A limerick for ya...
_A prep school had come into view..._
_"Yo Rabbi," a Priest said, "woo-hoo!_
_Let's lure them with toys,_
_And then screw little boys"._
_"Out of what?" - the response of the Jew_
There once was a man from Peru
Whose limerick was three lines too few.
A Limerick
There once was a barmaid in Salles,
On her chest wrote the price of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
There once was a lady named Sue...
There once was a lady named Sue
She didn't have much to do
So she pulled out the vacuum
and went to the bathroom
And found a new way to go poo
**I just want to say this is not a repost. I wrote this Limerick, with the exception of the first two lines.*
The limerick is a dying art
It's sad to see these things part
But all trends like gas
Must soon pass
See, I wrote one about a fart
2017 Limerick: There once was a man from Nantucket
Who after several credible accusations of sexual harassment was forced to resign from his position of political power
Naughty Limerick
There was once a man of great fame,
Who thought every beast he could tame.
But deep in his soul,
The man was a troll,
And that's how you just lost the game.
A limerick writ for a Twit
An executive reckless and bitter
Made a fool of himself via Twitter
*"Please stop!"* they entreated
But in answer he Tweeted
*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*
Limerick joke
There was a young man from queen's park
Whose limericks got rather dark
They started out fine
But by the last line
I will kill you in your sleep
A clean Nantucket limerick
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nan tuck it
Limerick
There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?
Lewd Limerick
A bather whose clothing was strewed
By breezes that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along
And, unless I'm quite wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar
No joke...
A limerick about my life right now
I might soon be resting in clover,
At the end of my days as a rover.
But I'm still not appeased
Whether I've got disease,
Or just that I'm really hungover.
A limerick that I heard years ago
Poor Johnny used to drink
But alas, he drinks no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the limerick dublin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working limerick ireland piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.