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Limerick Jokes

61 limerick jokes and hilarious limerick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about limerick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the quirkiest of Irish wit in the form of Limerick Jokes! Enjoy the craziest of situations while exploring the rivalry between Cork and Limerick and get carried away with the funniest of showerthoughts! Laugh out loud with this hilarious collection of limerick poems whether you are a Limerick man or a Brent fan!

Funniest Limerick Short Jokes

Short limerick jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The limerick humour may include short poem jokes also.

  1. So you like limericks, huh? On the Breast of a woman named Gale
    was tattooed the price of her tail
    and on her behind
    for the sake of the blind
    was the same information in braile.
  2. A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
    Had a period that was awfully stable.
    So once a full moon
    She took out her spoon
    And drank herself under the table.
  3. A Limerick There once was a man from Port Crown
    Who went to a doctor in town.
    The doc gave to he
    A sup-po-si-to-ry.
    "I will not take this sitting down!"
  4. A programming genius named Sewter Built a limerick-writing computer
    The metre was fine
    And the rhymes quite divine
    But for some reason it always got the last line wrong
  5. Music-related limerick A tutor who taught on the flute,
    tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
    Said the two to the tutor,
    "Is it harder to toot or,
    to tutor two tooters to toot?"
  6. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke. The joke wasn't there because it was busy parking the car
  7. Limerick There was an old man
    From peru, whose lim'ricks all
    Look'd like haiku. He
    Said with a laugh, "I
    Cut them in half, the pay is
    Much better for two."
  8. Why are programmers so good at poetry? Well, all words rhyme in binary.
  9. There was a young man from Cork There was a young man
    From Cork who got Limericks
    And Haikus confused
  10. A limerick that I heard years ago Poor Johnny used to drink
    But alas, he drinks no more
    For what he thought was H2O
    Was H2SO4.

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Limerick One Liners

Which limerick one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with limerick? I can suggest the ones about wrote poem and poetry.

  1. There once was a man from Peru Whose limerick was three lines too few.
  2. There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks stopped at line two.
  3. What is the limerick writer's favourite pop group? AABBA
  4. There once was a man named drew Who's limericks all stopped at two
  5. There once was a man from Nantucket... who didn't know what a limerick was.
  6. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar No joke...
  7. There once was a man from Dupree, Whose limericks ended on line three.
    I don't know why,
  8. I once met a man from Nantucket... ...He didn't understand limericks, either.
  9. Here's a limerick I wrote: There once was a colour named orange,
    ...d**....
  10. lazy limerick there once was a man from na-f**... it

Limerick Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny limerick man jokes and even better limerick man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A clean Nantucket limerick There once was a man from Nantucket
    Who kept all his cash in a bucket
    His daughter, named Nan,
    Ran away with a man
    And as for the bucket, Nan tuck it
  • Naughty Limerick There was once a man of great fame,
    Who thought every beast he could tame.
    But deep in his soul,
    The man was a troll,
    And that's how you just lost the game.
  • A Limerick There once was a man from the Styx
    Who liked to write Limericks
    But he failed at the sport
    Because he wrote them too short
  • Limerick joke There was a young man from queen's park
    Whose limericks got rather dark
    They started out fine
    But by the last line
    I will kill you in your sleep
  • Beatless Polish-Belgian haiku limerick: There once was a man from Nantucket Untoasted bagel
    Waffle
  • 2017 Limerick: There once was a man from Nantucket Who after several credible accusations of s**... harassment was forced to resign from his position of political power
  • I see your limerick... There once was a man from Wheeling
    Who pounded his p**... with great feeling
    And then like a trout
    He'd stick his mouth out
    And wait for the drops from the ceiling
  • Lewd Limerick A bather whose clothing was strewed
    By breezes that left her quite n**...,
    Saw a man come along
    And, unless I'm quite wrong,
    You expected this line to be lewd.
Limerick joke, Lewd Limerick

Comical Limerick Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about limerick you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean haiku jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make limerick pranks.

It's time for dirty limericks!

There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.

There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks would never quite scan.
When told this was so,
He said, "Yes, I know...
It's because I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert

There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock

My Favorite Limerick

There once was a fellow McSweeney
Who put some gin on his w**...
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini

Limericks eh?

There once was a fellow named Blair
Who was having his g**... the stair
On the 44th s**...
The banister broke
So he finished her off in the air.

Another off color limerick

A s**..., alack and forsooth
Was at it's moment of s**... truth
It had hoped to fall
On the w**...'s spongy wall
But was dashed to it's death on a tooth!

A limerick about limericks

There was a young poet from Japan
Whose limericks did not easily scan
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."

A mathematical limerick

A dozen, a g**..., and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

A dirty limerick I made up today ...

I once met a girl named Susie.
And, boy, was she a doozie!
She loved me right,
Made it last all night!
And in the morning she blew me!

Vampire limerick

A tad less obvious than most.........
There was a young vampire called Mable,
who's periods were very stable.
Every full moon she would get out a spoon ,
and drink herself under the table.

A limerick my Dad told me as kid

In days of old
When nights were cold
And toilets weren't invented
You laid your load beside the road
And walked away contented

A limerick, There once was a bishop from kings...

There once was a bishop from Kings,
Who talked about god and such things,
But his real desire,
was a boy in the choir,
with a bottom like jello on springs.

Limericks by Jenny

There was a young woman named Jenny
Whose limericks were not worth a penny.
Oh, the rhyme was all right,
And the meter was tight,
But whenever she tried to write any,
She always wrote one line too many!

For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"

Sorry, did that not make any sense?
How about -
>"A dozen, a g**..., and a score,
>
>plus three times the square root of four,
>
>divided by seven,
>
>plus five times eleven,
>
>is nine squared and not a bit more."

A Priest and a Rabbi.

A limerick for ya...
 
_A prep school had come into view..._
_"Yo Rabbi," a Priest said, "woo-hoo!_
_Let's lure them with toys,_
_And then screw little boys"._
_"Out of what?" - the response of the Jew_

There once was a poet named Stan...

...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"

There once was a lady named Sue...

There once was a lady named Sue
She didn't have much to do
So she pulled out the vacuum
and went to the bathroom
And found a new way to go p**...
**I just want to say this is not a repost. I wrote this Limerick, with the exception of the first two lines.*

In limerick's a neat way to write...

In limerick's a neat way to write.
One can enjoy it most all day and night.
It's easy and fun,
a few lines and you're done.
I hope I can learn how to write one some day.

A limerick writ for a Twit

An executive reckless and bitter
Made a fool of himself via Twitter
*"Please stop!"* they entreated
But in answer he Tweeted
*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*

I haven't laughed in years. Puns, limericks, tickling, sitcoms . . . Nothing. I finally went to see a doctor.

Apparently I'm laugh joke intolerant.

Limerick

There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?

A limerick about my life right now

I might soon be resting in clover,
At the end of my days as a rover.
But I'm still not appeased
Whether I've got disease,
Or just that I'm really hungover.

Limerick joke,  What is the limerick writer's favourite pop group?

jokes about limerick