Following is our collection of Lime jokes which are very funny. There are some lime lifesavers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lime sour puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He
Said with a laugh, "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."
On the Breast of a woman named Gale
was tattooed the price of her tail
and on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in braile.
There once was a fellow named Blair
Who was having his girl on the stair
On the 44th stroke
The banister broke
So he finished her off in the air.
There was this girl from Boston, Mass.
She wade into the sea and wet her ankles,
it doesn't rhyme now,
but just wait until the tide comes in
There once was a man from Wheeling
Who pounded his pud with great feeling
And then like a trout
He'd stick his mouth out
And wait for the drops from the ceiling
There was a young poet from Japan
Whose limericks did not easily scan
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."
There once was a man from Port Crown
Who went to a doctor in town.
The doc gave to he
A sup-po-si-to-ry.
"I will not take this sitting down!"
Because she was a little tart.
because i'm an alcoholic
He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore.
There once was a colour named orange,
...Damnit.
You can explore lime fizzy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lime mojito dad jokes. There are also lime puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because he thought people were taking him for granite.
In days of old
When nights were cold
And toilets weren't invented
You laid your load beside the road
And walked away contented
Don't take me for granite!
There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon,
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.
There once was a bishop from Kings,
Who talked about god and such things,
But his real desire,
was a boy in the choir,
with a bottom like jello on springs.
When I was on the Isle of Skye
I overdid the old Spanish fly
I had a stiff member
From the fourth of December
Till Friday the tenth of July
Sublime.
There was a young woman named Jenny
Whose limericks were not worth a penny.
Oh, the rhyme was all right,
And the meter was tight,
But whenever she tried to write any,
She always wrote one line too many!
Because he had lime disease
He puts a lime next to her. The woman asks "what this"? The man says "its a lime". The woman says "can you move that lime somewhere else"? The man says "sure".The man tries to move the lime several times but cant seem to lift it. The woman says "is something wrong"? The man says "Sorry, I am bad at pick up limes".
Lime.
Someone ordered a mojito.
There he goes, puts som mint in, lime juice and he starts pouring some vodka.
And the other bartender: RUM, FORREST, RUM!!!
A top-of-the-lime model.
Key and Peele.
There once was a man from the Styx
Who liked to write Limericks
But he failed at the sport
Because he wrote them too short
There once was a barmaid in Salles,
On her chest wrote the price of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
She ordered the angel shot with lime :(
Limewire
Those are the pie rates of the carribean.
An executive reckless and bitter
Made a fool of himself via Twitter
*"Please stop!"* they entreated
But in answer he Tweeted
*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*
There was a young man from queen's park
Whose limericks got rather dark
They started out fine
But by the last line
I will kill you in your sleep
Its called the Cosbypolitan
Hold the lime!
A Key Lime.
There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Sublime
The citrus tells the doctor he's not feeling well.
The doctor says, of course not.
You have lime disease.
Courtesy of my 6 year old.
#wholesome
I might soon be resting in clover,
At the end of my days as a rover.
But I'm still not appeased
Whether I've got disease,
Or just that I'm really hungover.
"The women's dormitory
is off-limits to male students and the men's
dormitory is off-limits to female students," he
intoned. "Am body caught breaking this rule
will be fined $20 the first time, $60 the second
lime and $180 the third time. Does anyone
have any questions?
A male student raised his hand. "How much
for a season pass?"
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," he tells him
"What is it that you've done, my child?"
"Father, I've had premarital sex with 6 different beautiful women. One for each day since Monday."
The priest takes a good look at him before replying, "Well, son, say 10 hail Mary's and drink a pint of lime juice."
"Will that absolve my sins, Father?"
"No, but it sure as hell will wipe that stupid smirk on your face!"
Poor Johnny used to drink
But alas, he drinks no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.
Lime disease
^I'll ^^see ^^^myself ^^^^out
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lime pineapple jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lime juicer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.