Lime Jokes

Funniest Lime Short Jokes

Short lime jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lime humour may include short lettuce jokes also.

1. Literary Humor. I ordered a martini with an olive and a twist of lime.
   The bartender served it with no olive or twist.
   I gave him the Dickens.
2. I asked my wife for one of those lemon-lime sodas... When she brought back a Coke I said "you only did this out of Sprite."
3. My wife said I added too much lime juice to my homemade salsa and it made her taco taste funny The odd acidity.
4. I once knew a rapper who used cannabis infused citrus as chewing tobacco He spat some dope limes
5. What did Pete Townsend say when Roger Daltrey told him that he'd lost his favorite old lime-colored belt? "Relax. It's only a green, aged, waistband."
6. My wife just shoved a key lime pie in my face and stormed out of the house! I've been desserted!
7. What did the Spanish scientist say when asked if he wanted lime in his cocktail? A mi no acid.
8. A lime and banana decided to become a stand-up comedy duo and called themselves ... Key and Peele.
9. Literary historians recently found a Briton recipe for a citrus-based sauce translated by Samuel Taylor Coleridge It was called the 'Lime of the Ancient Marinade'
10. A citrus goes to the doctor The citrus tells the doctor he's not feeling well.
    The doctor says, of course not.
    You have lime disease.
    Courtesy of my 6 year old.
    #wholesome

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Lime One Liners

Which lime one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lime? I can suggest the ones about orange and lice.

1. If you see someone doing a crossword Lean over and tell them seven up is Lemon-lime
2. What's worse than lime? Sublime.
3. Why did the lime disapprove of his daughter? Because she was a little tart.
4. What goes well with Coronavirus? Lime disease
   ^I'll ^^see ^^^myself ^^^^out
5. What do you call a lime that opens doors? A Key Lime.
6. Why did the lemon turn green? Because he had lime disease
7. What do you call the lowest fruit on a lime tree? Sublime
8. What does the band Toto say when it orders a gin tonic? Hold the lime!
9. Went out for drinks with my tinder date... She ordered the angel shot with lime :(
10. I made a miniature lemon-lime pie... It was a little tart
11. Can you guess what the lime said to the tortilla chip? Do you want a hint?
12. What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale? A top-of-the-lime model.
13. What is a tick's favorite fruit? Lime.
14. What do you call a lime with strings attached? Limewire
15. Why did the internet pirate get scurvy? He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore.

Lemon And Lime Jokes

Here is a list of funny lemon and lime jokes and even better lemon and lime puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend was showing me around her loft. She said, "It's a bit eratic."
  I said, "I know, there's lemon and lime peels everywhere."
• Limes are the best sour citrus fruit. And lemons are absolutely sub-lime.
• What do you get when you cross a lemon and a lime? Sprite.

Lime Juice Jokes

Here is a list of funny lime juice jokes and even better lime juice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I bought a juice drink whilst visiting a navy exhibit in my city. it was unexpectedly delicious. No-one told me it would be sub-lime.

Amusing & Witty Lime Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about lime you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pickle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lime pranks.