Limb Jokes

96 limb jokes and hilarious limb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about limb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a good laugh? Then check out this article featuring humorous jokes and puns about having a missing or lost limb. Learn to laugh at malpractice, toes and bones with these amusing one-liners!

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jokes about limb

Best Short Limb Jokes

Short limb puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The limb humour may include short limps jokes also.

  1. You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
    Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
    Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
    Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'.
  2. A guy walked into a prosthetic limbs store. He picked up a false shoulder, arm and wrist.
    The store attendant asked "Would you like a hand with that?"
  3. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  4. My dad always told me to treat women like flowers. So I tore my girlfriend apart limb by limb to find out whether or not she loved me.
  5. If I ever find the guy who messed up my limb transplants, I'm going to kill him with my bear hands.
  6. I went to the prosthetic limb store to buy some new hands "Two of each hand please." I say to the man at the counter.
    "We're all out of left hands sir." He responds.
    "All right then."
  7. Why did the knight stop fighting after all his limbs had been chopped of? He'd been unarmed and defeated
  8. As an amputee, I asked the doctor how much prosthetic limbs would cost. He said an arm and a leg.
  9. If an octopus is called an octopus because of its eight limbs, what would you call an octopus with only seven limbs? An amputee.
  10. Scientists thought they had found a limb of an ancient hominid... but it was just a fossil arm.
Limb joke, Scientists thought they had found a limb of an ancient hominid...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about limb can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of limb puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Limb One Liners

Which limb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with limb? I can suggest the ones about amputation and legged.

  1. I have 3 eyes, 6 heads and 15 limbs, what am I? A liar.
  2. What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs? Names.
  3. Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion? Anyone can pull them off
  4. It's not a privilege for bears to have limbs. They have the right to bear arms.
  5. What do you call the deaf man with no limbs? Whatever you want.
  6. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say... "Look how high up in this tree I am".
  7. Why did the Chinese government confiscate all deer legs? Mistook them for moose limbs.
  8. The B in limb is silent Just like the p in bathwater
  9. There's a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street. He's an arms dealer.
  10. Why did the limb doctor get arrested? Possession of arms
  11. Tree house builders get no respect... I mean they go out on a limb to build these things!
  12. What do you call a lap dance from a girl with 3 or less limbs? Amputease
  13. What do you call a limb that has been transplanted? A hand-me-down.
  14. How to lose a limb in star wars? Be a Jedi and a Skywalker.
  15. What do you call a gang of people paralyzed in all four limbs? Squadriplegic.

No Limb Jokes

Here is a list of funny no limb jokes and even better no limb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got thrown out of the amputee club for having all of my limbs In my opinion that was an unfair dismemberment
  • What do you call... What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
    A small arms dealer.
  • Scientists have now made cybernetic limbs available to the public! Unfortunately, they'll cost you an arm and a leg.
  • Yesterday this guy walks up on my lawn and gives me the finger. I swear that's the last time I try to cut my tree limbs without gloves.
  • In the future, if technology makes it possible to replace human limbs And its common enough that you can buy them in stores, will midgets go to small arms dealers?
  • The other day I was climbing a tree with a friend He was talking about life and I had some advice so I said alright I'm going out on a limb here...
  • My youngest said he was going to go out on a limb, and I asked him if it would be an arm or a leg.
  • Did you hear about the new store where you can plug in robotic limbs? It's great even though they charge an arm and a leg.
  • So what do you do? *I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*
    So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?
    *I prefer international arms dealer.*
  • Did you hear about how much those new prosthetic limbs cost? An arm and a leg.

Lost Limb Jokes

Here is a list of funny lost limb jokes and even better lost limb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If Anakin lost a limb in II and Luke lost a limb in V, then in VIII Rey WILL NOT lose a limb, because she already lost a Han.
  • If I write with the wrong hand that I've lost a limb to Lefty Loathin' Larry... Then the right hand is my left hand, and my right hand is what's left!
  • My dog got hit by a car And lost 3 of his legs. He's looking really rough, I think he's on his last limb.
  • What do you call four gentlemen who have completely lost the use of their limbs? Quadruplegic.
  • Did you hear about the man who was born without a limb? He lost it back in mom.

Missing Limb Jokes

Here is a list of funny missing limb jokes and even better missing limb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm starting a clothing company for people missing limbs. The name you ask? AmpuTEES
  • I hate how people treat amputees differently. Just because they're missing a limb or two doesn't make them any less of a person.
  • What's missing from star wars 7? Nobody's limbs.
  • I had a camping trip planned, but this storm dropped big limbs all over my property I guess you could say I missed the forest for the trees.
  • Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
Limb joke

Hilarious Limb Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about limb you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean body part jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make limb prank.

Bill and Tom are working at the local sawmill.

One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in rehab exercising". Tom couldn't believe it, but there's Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill. But a couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on the saw again. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital. Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies "He's in rehab again, exercising". Sure enough, there's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. Bill comes back to work in two days, fully recovered.
But, within a couple of days he has another accident and this time severs his head. Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to hospital. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down crying and says, "He's dead!" Tom is shocked, but not surprised. "I suppose the saw finally did him in?", sighs Tom. "No," says the nurse, "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

I was very confused the other dah

I was discussing religion with a man and he claimed to be a "moose limb". Must be some kinda canadian thing I guess.

A limbo champion walks into a bar

and loses his title.

The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg

The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg

Double limb transplants are so expensive

They cost an arm and leg

What do you call it when a weightloss contest participant loses a limb?


So this Limbo Champion walks into a bar...

and was immediately disqualified.

A limbo dancer walks into a bar.

She's bad at her job.

Two limbo players walked into a bar.

They lost.

A limbo contestant walks into a bar

He is immediately disqualified

So I heard a tree service worker tried to stuff one of his coworkers into a wood chipper....

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he doesn't have a shred of decency .

A limbo dancer walks into a bar

He is ashamed.

A limbo dancer walks into a bar...

And was immediately disqualified.

When it comes to the limbo...

I'm raising the bar!

A limbo player walks into a bar.

He loses.

What did the squirrel do to try and impress his date?

He went out on a limb.

A limbo champion walks into a bar

Instant disqualification.

A limbo performer walks into a bar

Poor girl got fired

Limbo dance is way too easy...

...let's raise the bar!

Im gonna go out on a limb here...

... and say climbing this tree was a bad idea.

I've known my limbo partner for years...

...we go way back.

My friends asked me to swim in a lake full of piranhas...

I went out on a limb and said it hurt.

Why did the limbless gladiator surrender?

He was unarmed and defeated.

Limbless man found stuck inside fallen tree

Police are stumped

Whenever i limbo....

I like to set the bar high

What do you call it when you fall asleep and wake up without a limb?



Doctor: Mr. Franco, I'm sorry to tell you that your leg has developed gangrene, and if we don't amputate immediately, you may die due to infection.
Shall I schedule the surgery?
Mr. Franco: Hmm... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no.

The Limbo

In order to set the bar high, you have to set the bar low..

A limbo contestant walks into a bar...

...and is eliminated from the competition.

A limbo professional walks into a bar.

He lost.

How do you know an amputee loves you?

He goes out on a limb for you.

I went on a limbo tour around Europe

My best performance was in Norway.
There I went Oslo as I could go.

Limbo stick stolen.

How low can you go?

If I ever find the doctor who s**... up my limb replacement surgery..

I'll kill him with my bear hands.

A limbo champion walked into a bar.

He was disqualified.

So this guy absolutely hated pirates...

He wouldn't have anything to do with them. Eventually, we realized it wasn't all pirates. Just peg-leg pirates. Actually, it was anybody who had lost a lower limb. We later discovered he was lack-toes intolerant.

A limbo champion walks into a bar

They lost

A limbo champion walks into a bar

She's immediately disqualified

A limbo dancer walks into a bar.

Gets disqualified.

A limbo champ walks into a bar.

He loses.

One day, Tarzan is swinging through the jungle on his favourite vine when he crashes into a monkey swinging in the other direction.

They both land safely on a tree limb below, but when Tarzan looks up, there is only one vine hanging above them. Next to it, there is only a very thin branch.
"Were you swinging on that thing?" asks Tarzan.
"Yes," replies the monkey.
Tarzan is amazed. "How do you do that?"
The monkey rolls his eyes. "Am I the only one in this whole jungle who knows how to drive a stick?"

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot.
I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

A limbo professional walks into a bar

He is immediately disqualified

A limbo contestant walks into a bar

He was disqualified

Limb joke, A limbo contestant walks into a bar

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these limb jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.