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Lily Pad Jokes

9 lily pad jokes and hilarious lily pad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lily pad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Lily Pad Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good lily pad joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...

Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.
Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the hole.
Now the old bearded guy steps up and just hits the ball with all his strength. The ball goes flying! It then proceeds to hit a nearby rooftop, bounce along the grass and land on a lily pad. A frog appears and eats the golf ball. Then out of nowhere a bird picks up the frog in its talons and flies off. As the bird flies over the green, the frog spits out the ball and it manages to land the ball in the hole...
After witnessing this Moses turns towards Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."

What's a frog's favorite springtime sport? Lily-pad-leboarding!

There was a father with three daughters...

The first daughter came up to him and said, "Dad, why is my name daisy?"
He replies, "because when you were born a daisy fell on your head."
The second daughter comes up to him and asks the same, "Dad, why is my name lily?"
"When you were born, a lily pad fell on your head."
The third daughter walks up to him and says, "MAUUUNGUNNFFFAUUUUUUU!"
"Shut up Brick!"

A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, "Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!" The toad yells back,

"Naw man, you're in de-nile"

A chicken walks into a library and up to the desk (Long)

"Buk", says the chicken,
The librarian hands the chicken a book. The chicken then leaves.
Five minutes later, the chicken returns. "Buk", says the chicken.
The librarian hands the chicken a book, and the chicken leaves again.
This goes on for seven or eight more times. Finally the librarian decides to take her break and follows the chicken.
The chicken goes behind the library to a pond. In the pond sits a frog on a lily pad.
The chicken throws the book into the pond. "Buk", says the chicken.
"Reddit", says the frog.

What did the frog's girlfriend need when she was on her period?

A lily pad.

Why were the frog's feet red?

It jumped onto Lily's pad.

Moses, Jesus, and an old man are playing a friendly game of golf...

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing a friendly game of golf.
First Moses goes. He licks his finger to check the wind. He does some simple trigonometry and then hits the golf ball. The golf ball lands in the middle of the lake. He grumbles and growls and sticks his club into the ground to part the seas. He walks into the middle of the now waterless lake and hits it onto the green. He sinks the ball with a birdie.
Next goes Jesus. Jesus puts his hands in prayer and then sets up to hit the ball. He makes contact and hits it onto the green. He puts it in for an eagle.
The old man grumbles and growls. He approaches the tee with his club in his off-hand. He takes a mighty swing and smacks the ball. The ball flies and lands on a lily-pad. It is then picked up by a frog. The frog in turn finds itself in the clutches of a falcon. The frog drops the ball and it bounces in for a hole-in-one.
At this point Moses leans towards Jesus and whisper, "I really hate playing with your old man."

A chicken walks into a library....

A chicken walks into the library. It goes up to the circulation desk and says: "book, bok, bok, boook". The librarian hands the chicken a book. It tucks it under his wing and runs out. A while later, the chicken runs back in, throws the first book into the return bin and goes back to the librarian saying: "book, bok, bok, bok, boook". Again the librarian gives it a book, and the chicken runs out. The librarian shakes her head. Within a few minutes, the chicken is back, returns the book and starts all over again: "boook, book, bok bok boook". The librarian gives him yet a third book, but this time as the chicken is running out the door, she follows it. The chicken runs down the street, through the park and down to the riverbank. There, sitting on a lily pad is a big, green frog. The chicken holds up the book and shows it to the frog, saying: "Book, bok, bok, boook". The frog blinks, and croaks: "read-it, read-it, read-it"

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