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Lily Jokes

48 lily jokes and hilarious lily puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lily that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy a collection of hilarious jokes about lilies, including references to water lilies, peace lilies, bud and lily, lily pads, lily flowers, Lily Tomlin, and even Cinderblock and Rose! Have fun reading these lighthearted jokes perfect for gardeners and nature lovers of all ages.

Funniest Lily Short Jokes

Short lily jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lily humour may include short daisy jokes also.

  1. Why couldn't Snape be a Herbology teacher? Because he wasn't able to keep the Lilies alive.
  2. Why was Snape so upset when Lily Potter was wrongfully terminated? She was never able to receive her Severus package.
  3. A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, "Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!" The toad yells back, "Naw man, you're in de-nile"
  4. I remember my parent's reaction when I brought home my first A+ on a test It was something like Who's Lily and You aren't even in AP Biology
  5. Have you ever wondered why Severus Snape taught Potions and not Herbology? It's because his Lily died.

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Lily One Liners

Which lily one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lily? I can suggest the ones about lady and lollipop.

  1. Why can Severus Snape never become a gardener His lilies always die
  2. What's a frog's favorite springtime sport? Lily-pad-leboarding!
  3. Why doesn't Snape teach herbology? His lily died
  4. Why does snape teach potions and not herbology? He can't keep a Lily alive.
  5. What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it Water lily
  6. Why does Snape teach potions and not Herbology? Because his Lily died
  7. Harry Potter joke Q. Why can't Snape teach Herbology?
    A. He can't keep the lilies alive.
  8. What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
    The tiger lily.
  9. Why should you never buy ecstasy off of Lily Savage Because it would be poor low-grade E
  10. What did the frog's girlfriend need when she was on her period? A lily pad.
  11. I always wondered why Snape never taught herbology. Then it dawned on me His Lily died
  12. Why were the frog's feet red? It jumped onto Lily's pad.
  13. Why did Professor Snape hate Herbology His Lily died.
  14. What's the opposite of "lily white"? A racist term of some sort.

Lily joke, What's the opposite of "lily white"?

Hilarious Fun Lily Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about lily you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kitty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lily pranks.

Kid1: Hey Dad why am I called lily?

Dad: Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid2: Hey Dad why am I called rose?
Dad: Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid3: herdurrrrahduhrgh#%*?
Dad: Shut up Cinderblock

A woman is walking home with her three daughters.

The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did I get my name?"
"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose".
The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.
"Well darling, when we were bringing *you* home from the hospital, a *lily* petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."
The third girl asks "AAArrgghhrasfdg".
"Shhh, quiet now, Cinderblock".

3 little girls walk up to their father

The first little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you rose."
The second little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a lily petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you Lily."
The third little girl says, "hurdddurflbbbbb dur."
and the dad says, "shut up Cinderblock."

3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park...

Girl 1 turned to her mother and said...
Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?
Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.
The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question...
Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?
Mom: When we took you out of the Hospital, a rose petal landed onto your head
This is when the 3rd daughter pipes up and says...
Girl 3: AAAARRRGHFFFFJJJFSSSLLLHHH
Mom: Shhhhhhh, quiet down now Cinder Block

A little girl asks her father how she got her name

"well honey a rose petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named you rose."
his younger daughter runs up to him "and how did i get my name daddy?"
"well honey a lily petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named you lily."
his son comes runnign up to him and yells "huuuuuuuuuuur flugerr dhuuuur"
"shut up cinder block"

"Daddy, why is my name Rose?"

One day, a child came up to her father and said, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
Later on, her younger sister came up to their father and asked, "Daddy, why was I named Lily?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a lily fell on your head."
Later, their brother came up to their father and said, "Ghigdsgjjo Hitsggdjkl."
He replied, "Shutup, Brick!"

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...

Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.
Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the hole.
Now the old bearded guy steps up and just hits the ball with all his strength. The ball goes flying! It then proceeds to hit a nearby rooftop, bounce along the grass and land on a lily pad. A frog appears and eats the golf ball. Then out of nowhere a bird picks up the frog in its talons and flies off. As the bird flies over the green, the frog spits out the ball and it manages to land the ball in the hole...
After witnessing this Moses turns towards Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."

A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"

Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"
The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."
The youngest daughter then approached.
"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"
"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.

Dad, why am I called rose?

Daughter 1: Dad, why am I called rose?
Dad: well when you were born a rose petal landed on your head, so we took it as a sign.
Daughter 2: so Dad, why am I called Lily?
Dad: for the same reason, when you were born a lily petal landed on your head.
Daughter 3: JAVDJDJ SKAOAOSBDBSIJS
Dad: be quiet, Fridge.

There was a father with three daughters...

The first daughter came up to him and said, "Dad, why is my name daisy?"
He replies, "because when you were born a daisy fell on your head."
The second daughter comes up to him and asks the same, "Dad, why is my name lily?"
"When you were born, a lily pad fell on your head."
The third daughter walks up to him and says, "MAUUUNGUNNFFFAUUUUUUU!"
"Shut up Brick!"

A Woman Was Walking With Her 3 Children

A mother was walking with her 3 children Rose, Lily, and Cinderblock.
Rose asks "Mom why am I named Rose?"
Her mother says "When we were coming home from the hospital a Rose fell on your head."
Lily, now curious, asks "Then why am I named Lily?"
Her mother says "When we were coming home from the hospital a Lily fell on your head."
Then Cinderblock says "ARGRGRGRGHDDEW BLDEWGD"

A mother and her three daughters, Rose, Lily, and Cinderblock are walking down a path

Lily asks her mom mom, why did you name me Lily? The mom replies Because when we were taking you home from the delivery room, a lily fell on your head Curious, Rose asks Mom, why is my name Rose? Her mother says because when we were taking you home from the delivery room, a rose fell on your head Finally, Cinderblock says HSIEMDNJSISOSNGGJSKKSH

A woman is walking home with her three daughters

The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did get my name?"
"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose."
The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.
"Well darling, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a lily petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."
The third girl asks "HHGHGNGHGHNG?!?!?!
DDDNBHGHBHNGHHH!"
"Shhh, quiet now, Cinderblock."

hahah brick!

There is a father and he has three daughters
The oldest daughter comes up to him and asks, "Dad, why is my name Lily?"
The father responds, "because when you were born, a Lily fell on your head."
Then the second oldest daughter comes up and asks, "dad, why is my name Daisy?"
The father responds, "because when you were born, a daisy fell on your head."
Then the youngest daughter comes up and says, "Muuughmmmummphhhhhh"

"Shut up, Brick!"

Lily went to a nearby pharmacy to buy her partner some deodorant.

A salesclerk comes up to her and asks what she's looking for.
"I'm looking for some deodorant for my boyfriend, but I don't know what kind he uses."
"Is it the ball type?"
"No," she replied. "It's for his armpits."

A baby cow walks up to a mom cow and says

"Mommy,why is my name rose",the mom says "because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head".a 2nd cow asks "why is my name lily?" the mom says "because a Lilly fell on your head when you were born".a third cow comes over and says "dur glu fo dur.".the mom then says "shut up cinder block!"

Child 1: "Dad why did you name me rose?"

Child 1: "Dad why did you name me rose?"

Dad: "Because when you were born a little rose petal fell on your forehead, it was such a beautiful moment."
Child 2: "And why did you name me Lily?"
Dad: "Because when you were born a little Lily fluttered onto your forehead"
Child 3: ADGHRSSDF!!! MMHGJGD!!
Dad: "Shut up Boulder!"

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!

asked the Killer

Lily: M-My name is Lily..
Killer: Okay, you've the same name as my mom, I'll let you live. How about you ?!
Marshall: I'm Marshall but my friends call me Lily!

A chicken walks into a library and up to the desk (Long)

"Buk", says the chicken,
The librarian hands the chicken a book. The chicken then leaves.
Five minutes later, the chicken returns. "Buk", says the chicken.
The librarian hands the chicken a book, and the chicken leaves again.
This goes on for seven or eight more times. Finally the librarian decides to take her break and follows the chicken.
The chicken goes behind the library to a pond. In the pond sits a frog on a lily pad.
The chicken throws the book into the pond. "Buk", says the chicken.
"Reddit", says the frog.

A woman had three young daughters...

One day, the first daughter came to her and said "Mama, how did I get my name?"
"Well, the day you were born, a beautiful lily flower floated in through the window and landed on your head, so we named you Lily."
The second daughter asks "Mama, how did I get my name?"
"Well, the day you were born, a beautiful daisy flower floated in through the window and landed on your head, so we named you Daisy."
Finally the third sister goes "Gah wah nah nah wah gah nah!"
And her sisters yell back "Shut up, Brick!"

The naming of my children

Yesterday, my eldest daughter asked me,"Father, why is my name Rose?". I explain to her it was because a rose petal landed on her head as she was birthed on our patio. Curious, my middle child asked me,"Father, why is my name Lily?". I explain to her it was because when she was birthed a lily flower petal fell onto her head after it blew in through a window. My youngest grunted,"Raaghhrgh?". I reply,"Quiet down now Cinderblock we already fed you!".

Three frogs are sitting on a lily

The first frog goes "Croak"
The second frog says "Croak"
The third frog says "Ribbit"
The first frog pulls out a p**... and shoots the third one. Puzzled the second frog asks why. The first frog puts the p**... away and says "He knew too much"

Rose walks up to her father

"Father," she asks. Why did you name me rose?
"Well when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
Delighted, she scampers off into the next room. His second daughter comes running into the room.
"Daddy daddy! Why did you name me Lily?"
"Well when you were born a lily petal fell on your head."
Joyfully, Lily skips out into the next room. His third daughter bolts into the room.
"Hurrrrrnauuufffff."
"**SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!**"

Lily joke, I always wondered why Snape never taught herbology. Then it dawned on me

jokes about lily