Liking Jokes
52 liking jokes and hilarious liking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about liking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Liking Short Jokes
Short liking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The liking humour may include short likes jokes also.
- The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
- If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened. Noble gases should have no reaction.
- If i had a dime for every time i didn't understand what's going on. I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
- My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
- TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead
- Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
- Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to orange.
- Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg
- I just saw my chinese waiter give my order to someone who looks nothing like me. I get it now. Oh wait, my bad. That wasn't my waiter.
- I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions Like, "who's blood is this", and "where did you get it?"
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Liking One Liners
Which liking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with liking? I can suggest the ones about pleasing and thumbs up.
- My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. A solid 10, but also imaginary.
- Dads are like boomerangs. I hope.
- PETA is like a box of chocolates They kill dogs
- If you say AT&T backwards You sound like a Canadian Bomb Technician.
- I like my women like I like my coffee I've never had coffee but it smells really nice
- I like my women like I like my slaves Educated and free.
- I hate when my girlfriend gets mad at me for being lazy It's not like I did anything
- When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body Then I was born
- You: Would you like a keto burger? My anaconda: No.
- I don't like people who take drugs... For example: airport security.
- Veganism is like Communism They are both fine, unless you like food
- Making love to a woman is like playing a violin… I don't know how to do it…
- I like my women like I like my passwords Short and insecure
- An unpaid internship is nothing like actual slavery Slaves are given food and housing.
- Dark humor is like cancer. It's even funnier when children get it.
Hilarious Fun Liking Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about liking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wanting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make liking pranks.
Joke Of The Day!
A physicist goes to a conference and starts a conversation with a black man.
"So, how are you liking the conference?"
"It's alright. I anticipated a little more."
"Well I hope it isn't too bad."
"I just find it all a bit weird. What brings you here anyway?"
"Well I'm a physicist, so I thought I should drop by and refine my thinking. How about you?"
"Physicist? I came because the sign said "Black Holes. But I don't see any African women...."
Two Jews during the depression
Two Jewish guys are liking for work during the depression. They come across a atholic church that has a sign saying , "get saved; convert and receive $25".
One if the guys says, "my children are starving, I need that money" and goes in the church. His buddy waits for him and about am hour later he comes out. His buddy immediately ask, "did you get the money" to which the new follower of Christ responds, "is that all you people think about?"
I am liking the people from Finland
They always finish
A collection of puns in one text.
[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]
Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.
Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.
Friend: *turns off phone*
Moss and Algae take a liking to each other.
Algae and a Moss took a liking to each other and soon after got married. After a few years they realized their marriage was on the rocks.
Plank goes to a ball game
A small plank of wood goes to Watch a baseball game. For the first few innings, the plank is super into it. But by the seventh inning, its interest starts to fade.
A man nearby notices the fading enjoyment and starts up a conversation.
"Hey man, how you liking the game?" He asks.
"I really like it. I think it's pretty cool" the small plank replies.
"Really," says the man, "cuz it seems to me like you're a little board."
A boy works up the courage to ask the girl he likes on a date
The girl, liking him back, agrees to go on the date.
The boy tells her "Before we go on our date, there's something I have to tell you about myself. I only eat insects."
The girl finds this to be very strange but accepts it because she likes him.
They go out to dinner and the girl orders a steak while the boy eats an arrangement of insects he brought from home.
In the parking lot after dinner the two lock eyes, lean in, and slowly kiss each other. After the kiss the girls eyes are lit up with magic and she asks the boy how their first kiss felt.
The boy replies "I've got butterflies in my stomach."
What's the difference between an auto-corrected exclamation of amazement and an act of liking men?
One is ducking sick, the other is s**... d...
A farmer once successfully bred a three-legged chicken...
and bragged about it to his neighbors on how fast it was. A billionaire was passing by and took a liking to it. So he made a million dollar offer to the farmer for the chicken. Surprisingly, the farmer declined.
'Then, I'll give you five million for it,' said the billionaire.
'Sorry, I can't,' said the farmer.
'10 million dollars, I don't believe you'll turn down the offer'
'I'm truly sorry. I can't.'
The billionaire was stumped and asked, 'Is 10 million not enough?'
The farmer only sighed and reply, 'It's not that I don't want to sell it, that darned chicken is literally too fast for me to catch it.'
Seeing as you guys are liking these at the moment, What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?
One mucks around in fountains.
How I respond when people make fun of me for liking Guiness
I like my beer like I like my women. Black and heavy.
I like my women how I like my coffee:
Diluted and festooned with so much sweet, pretty b**... I feel like a fraud for liking them at all, yet possessed of an underlying bitterness and complexity that I secretly fear I will never truly understand or appreciate.
My first wife was too shallow for my liking
so I dug a deeper hole.
My friend asked me what I'd choose, a night with any lady of my liking or a million dollars
I said a million dollars because then I could have more than one night with the lady
Just finished a book about the Stockholm Syndrome
I did not like it to start with but ended up really liking it
A friend told me that Freddy from s**... Doo was gay
I told him that he was an idiot
Because liking traps doesn't make you gay.
I put all my fish in their new tank, but they don't seem to be liking it very much.
Perhaps I should have added water.
I like jokes - but all these jokes about not liking some jokes?
Not good jokes... Stop it, guys...
For decades I've always liked Kevin Spacey
Turns out he stopped liking me decades ago
Life is like a box of chocolates
It's too expensive and you ownly end up liking half of it.
CUT TO THE PAST
Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.
He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.
The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.
I believe I have the Stockholm Syndrome condition
Finally started liking my wife after 7 years.
What did the Nordic man do when he first logged onto Facebook?
He went on a liking spree.
On a faraway island lived a solitary genius
On a tribal island, far far away from here, lived a man called Cong Clu. Mr. Clu was a physicist, and had lately taken a liking to particle physics.
His research, however, was disturbed quite a lot, by the strong magnetic flow from the ferrous rocks, that the island was made up of, and in the end he had to give up..
It simply proved too hard to draw Cong Clu's Ions from the experiments.
I'm really liking the Swiss team this World Cup
For starters, their flag is a big plus.
I am liking my mustache more and more every day
its really growing on me
Liberals who watch Rupal Drag Race cannot make fun of conservatives for liking Nascar.
i**... drag racing or street racing can become as dangerous or even more dangerous than a Nascar pileup.
A priest told me that he only like his partners like the evening
I responded asking him what he meant by liking his partners like the evening.
He replied he only liked them from 6 through to 12.
I have a a simple reason for not liking the Drive Thru
First time I arrived, I turned to see some fat, sweaty, morbidly obese man hunched over a steering wheel demanding I take his money.
My wife's dog died yesterday, So I decided to cheer her up by buying an identical one...
Unfortunately instead of liking the gift, she cried and asked what is she going to do with two dead dogs
Ever since I failed Calculus I can't go into the woods
There's too many natural logs for my liking
I kinda stole this
The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can't google the lyrics because there are none
⚠️ No Results For "there was a really good bit with a flute"
The deliveryman in the elevator.
A deliveryman whose company has competitors such as FedEx, and who also happened to be born with an extra chromosome, was in an elevator along with one of the residents of the apartment.
The deliveryman was asked: "So, how are you liking your job these days?"
He replied: "Oh, you know, it has its UPS and Down's."
Heard one of the symptoms of COVID-19 was liking Nickleback...
... sorry looks like I misread the loss of taste.
An attractive co-worker that I've been working with for 3 years confessed to me today, but I rejected her.
One way to spot a woman with low standards is when they start liking me.
There's a new goth dating app called graveyard.
Instead of liking someone, you dig them.
(putting the romance back in necromance.)
A doctor is sitting at a restaurant.
He sees a waiter that is walking a bit too slow for his liking and asks him.
"Sorry... but do you maybe have hemorrhoids?"
The waiter responds.
"I am not sure, I will ask the chef."
