Lighthouse Jokes

16 lighthouse jokes and hilarious lighthouse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lighthouse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking to bring a bit of humor to your next seaside visit? Check out this collection of silly jokes - perfect for any lighthouse keeper or fan! Spanning from witty one-liners to puns about lamps and lanterns, these jokes are sure to leave your friends and family chuckling away on the seashore.

Funniest Lighthouse Short Jokes

Short lighthouse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lighthouse humour may include short lantern jokes also.

  1. I got so fed up with the trick-or-treaters last halloween that I turned off the lights and pretended I wasn't home. My lighthouse, my rules.
  2. How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....
  3. I got so sick of trick-or-treaters on Halloween night that I turned off all the lights and pretended I wasn't home. My lighthouse, my rules.
  4. It's been a long-term dream to convert a lighthouse But the project has been on and off for years.
  5. There was a lighthouse owner that noticed the tide was coming way too high and might wash away his home. So he called 911 It was an emerging sea.
  6. The trick-or-treaters this year didn't get the hint about my unlit house not having candy. It completely wrecked my quiet evening in my lighthouse.
  7. Just finished building the deepest well in England. Got the plans wrong way round, started work on the tallest lighthouse.

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Lighthouse One Liners

Which lighthouse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lighthouse? I can suggest the ones about signal light and street light.

  1. What kind of house can you pick up? A lighthouse.
  2. I bought a book called 2,023 Lighthouses Huge ripoff— there were only 12 in there.
  3. I built a lighthouse... but it blew away.
  4. how does the US Navy see at night? they order a lighthouse

Lighthouse joke, how does the US Navy see at night?

Uproarious Lighthouse Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about lighthouse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stoplight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lighthouse pranks.

A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.

He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.
The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.
The light signals back, I'm a s**... First Class. You must change your course, sir.
Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.
The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.

A Navy ship hailed a civilian at sea...

**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.
**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!
**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

The aircraft carrier captain saw a light whilst at sea

"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."
But the light flashes back "\*YOU\* turn to port to avoid a collision."
The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 warplanes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! \*YOU\* turn to the left to avoid a collision!"
The light flashes back "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

A First Mate turns to his Captain and says...

"Captain! There is a light ahead and we are receiving a transmission that we should veer to the left."
The Captain grabbed the radio and said, "This is a fully armed battleship. Veer right or be destroyed."
The voice on the radio responded, "This is a lighthouse. Your move."

A Navy Aircraft carrier and its entourage were traversing out at sea when they get a signal of an approaching mass.

They comm it and express for them to move out of their way they were on a mission of high importance. "Negative sir we cannot accommodate your request" The admiral quite taken aback exclaims that "Its not a request son, this is the United States Navy Aircraft carrier Ronald Reagan flanked by two naval war ships and a submarine. I repeat edit your bearings and move out of our way!" "Negative sir, were a lighthouse, so its your call!"
(Someone told that this actually happened one time)

An admiral is sailing a ship...

and ahead of him, spots an incoming light. He radios the light, commanding, "Turn 10 degrees South to avoid a collision course." The radio squawked, "No, you are to turn 10 degrees South." This exchange happens about 3 or 4 more times until finally, the admiral yells into the radio, saying, "Do you know who you are talking to? I AM AN ADMIRAL OF THE UNITED STATES NAVY!"
The radio says back, "Well, you're talking to the lighthouse."

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.

He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a s**..., second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

Lighthouse joke, Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his sh