Lighten Jokes
33 lighten jokes and hilarious lighten puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lighten that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
In this article, learn ways to lighten a joke or conversation that has become too heavy. Discover how to use flannel and other tactics to show that you understand the seriousness of a topic but don't want to dive too deep. Learn how to use a trebuchet to help lighten the mood in any situation.
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Funniest Lighten Short Jokes
Short lighten jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lighten humour may include short brighten up jokes also.
- My granddad always used to say "there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing". I say "used to', he got hit by lightening.
- Whenever my mate Dave starts stuttering, I always try and lighten the mood. By pretending to scratch invisible turntables.
- When your wife is complaining about looking overweight... It's probably best to steer clear of saying, oh honey, lighten up.
- I wake up happy, slowly get angrier, then eventually start lightening up and by bedtime I've come full circle and am happy one again I've got pi-polar disorder
- Pyongyang launches nuclear missile following end of US election Just kidding, thought I should lighten the mood a little.
- A comment on police killing young black men. Things would get better if everyone lightened up.
- Best Joke What is the best joke you've been told?
I often have patients at the hospital who ask me to tell them a joke to lighten the situation, let's here the best ones! - I was complaining to my friend about the racism I face every day being a person of color. He said, Just lighten up, will you?
- I've been banned because of drunk driving. The workers at the go kart centre need to lighten up.
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Lighten One Liners
Which lighten one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lighten? I can suggest the ones about brighten your day and lightning up.
- My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes... ...I told him to lighten up.
- My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight... She needs to lighten up.
- Did you hear about the lightening bug that ran into the bug zapper? He was delighted.
- What does a cow think when it sees another cow get struck by lightening? Moo
- Why do blondes smile during lightening storms? They think their picture is being taken.
- Why did the boy want to see a thunder storm in Greece? Because Greece lightening
- What do you call it when thunderstorms refuse to go to work? A lightening strike.
- Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
- What did the flashlight say to the darkness? **"Lighten up."**
- What did the guy say to the offended, overweight, man? Lighten up.
- How do depressed people lighten' up? They drink bleach.
Laughter Lighten Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about lighten you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shorten jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lighten pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...
The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.
The Russian takes a case of fine v**..., throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
Seeing the Russian's generous gesture, the Syrian takes a bag of fine hibiscus tea, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty in my country."
Finally, the German, seeing that it is his turn, throws the Syrian overboard and says, "We have plenty of those in my country."
I was checking out at Tesco...
I was checking out at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one item on the conveyor belt... a box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring, but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So, to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said, "Looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages!".
I was at a hospital, talking to some patients.
I tried to lighten the mood with a coronavirus joke. Barely anyone reacted at first, but eventually everyone got it. However, the Chinese guy got it right off the bat. Some people have called my joke tasteless, however. It really killed the mood. But I bet the British variation of this joke will spread much quicker!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My smart a**... mouth always gets me in trouble.
I was rear-ended, which caused me to rear-end the car in front of me. The driver, who was a dwarf, approached
aggressively after the accident yelling, "I am NOT happy."
I decided that I would try to lighten things up and answered,
"OK, I can see that, but then which one are you?"
That's when the fight started.
An airplane joke
The pilot comes on the speaker
Pilot: "Now that we are in the air I figured I'd lighten it up with a joke. Knock knock"
Passengers "Whose there?"
Pilot: "Superman"
Passengers: "Superman who?"
Pilot: "You're at forty thousand feet, it's either me, or a really unlucky baggage handler, now open up"
Need a joke about a refrigerator for work
I work in a refrigerator manufacturing plant and am giving a presentation next week. I would like to start out the presentation with a joke to lighten the mood. Anyone have any short, clean jokes about refrigerators?
A priest wants to know how he can become a better priest..
.. so he asks the bishop. The bishop had only two points to make.
"Eat healthy and exorcise daily"
(Just thought of this on the can, is there any ways I can improve on it? Or do you know of any similar jokes to lighten up my day?)
When we get married,
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'That's very kind of you darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
A man goes on vacation...
And has his brother watch his beloved cat while he's away.
He calls his brother when he lands and asks about the cat his brother says "oh the cat died."
Devastated the man says "well next time couldn't you lighten the blow a bit?"
His brother asks how
He says "well maybe the first day I call you could say the cat got on the roof. Then the second day you could say like the fire fighters couldn't get him down. And then on the third day you could tell me."
The brother says "okay I'll keep that in mind."
The man asks" so how's mom?"
"She's on the roof"
Plane Trip
A plane is crashing, carrying a Mexican, A Frenchman, and an American, and the pilots need to lighten up the load. So they ask the passengers to toss unimportant items out of the aircraft. The frenchman picks up a croissant and says "we have to many of these in our country, " and throws it out the window. the Mexican picks up a Burrito and says " we have to many of these in our country," and throws it out the window. The American picks up the Mexican and says "Here, we have to many of these in our country," and throws him out the window.
So yesterday I was getting a mole removed...
The dermatologist explained that since it grew back looking cancerous, they'd have to cut a bigger section out, which would require a few stitches. Anyways, the procedure is underway, and I'm laying face down as they're cutting into me. It's a little quiet so I try to lighten the atmosphere with a joke.
"You guys know that this mole spoke to me. It could actually talk!" The nurse was a little confused by this and responded, weakly "oh, really?". I said "Yeah, he used to talk to me all the time. He said I could never tell anyone that he was on my back, because 'Snitches... Get Stitches.'"
It was pretty silent after that. The doctor let out a snort/cough/chuckle after thinking about it. But I'm still not sure if the joke was worth the awkwardness.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest, an Army Man, and a Teacher
A priest, an army man, and a teacher are all in a helicopter. The helicopter starts to go down, so the pilot says quick everybody through anything you have on you to lighten the chopper! So the teacher throws her apple, the priest throws his bible, and the army man throws his grenade.
The helicopter lands safely, and the army man starts walking around when he sees a little girl crying. "Little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" The little girl answers, "an apple fell out of no where and hit me in the head!"
The army man continues walking until he stumbles upon another crying girl. " little girl, little girl, why are you crying?"
The girl responds, "a bible came out of no where and hit me in the head!"
The army man is walking again and sees a little boy rolling around laughing. He walks up to the boy and asks, "little boy, little boy, why are you laughing so hard?"
The boy laughs and says, "my grandpa f**..., and the house behind him blew up!"
