lightbulbs Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious lightbulbs puns

A woman was robbed...

...but upon coming home she discovered that nothing was stolen apart from her lightbulbs.

She was delighted

👍🏼

How many fat activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is beautiful the way it is. Society needs to change and learn to accept and stop shaming lightbulbs that don't conform to its standards.

👍🏼

So I came home from work yesterday ....

.......To find that someone broke into my apartment. Looking around, it seemed like they didn't really take a whole lot. My TV was still there, my PS4, and my legos were fine. But the apartment was dark, even when I tried to turn on the lights. Seems the only thing that was taken were my lightbulbs and a couple lamps...I was delighted.

👍🏼

How many Nazis does it take to screw in 6 million lightbulbs?

One. The rest were just following orders.

👍🏼

How many Freudians does it take to screw their mothers?

Not mothers, lightbulbs. Shit.

👍🏼

Do lightbulbs ever think about sex?

Only when they're turned on.

👍🏼

How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.

German lightbulbs are very high quality and never break.

👍🏼

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty vans...

👍🏼

My dad eats lightbulbs

One day these three little boys were bragging about their dads. The first little boy said, "my daddy can lift 100lbs. over his head." The second little boy said, "thats nothing my daddy can lift 200lbs. over his head." The third little boy said, "Thats nothing my daddy can eat light bulbs!" The other two little boys were like really hows that? the boy said, "Yeah i heard my daddy tell my mommy in the bed room the other night you turn that light off and I'll eat that thang!

👍🏼

Why don't feminists need to change lightbulbs?

Enough light comes through the glass ceiling.

👍🏼

How many JokeExplainBots does it take to change a lightbulb?

**Lightbulbs** are easily threaded by one person, **usually** with one hand. Doot.

👍🏼

Light bulb thief

I came across an open package of light bulbs at work today.

I thought to myself, "Stealing lightbulbs? This guy must be in a really dark place".

👍🏼

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a bad joke teller?

To get to the other side!

👍🏼

How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Frat boys don't screw in lightbulbs; they screw in puddles of vomit.

👍🏼

My 7yr old heard this...

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero, lightbulbs are hardware.

👍🏼

How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)

👍🏼

What do lightbulbs and Peruvians have in common?

Incan descent

👍🏼

Jack walks up to his teacher and asks...

Jack: Can you eat lightbulbs?

Teacher: No, why?

Jack: Because last night when I went to bed I heard my mom and dad. My dad says to my mom: "shut off the light, you're gonna eat the whole thing"

👍🏼

Why are newer lightbulbs smarter than older lightbulbs?

Because they're brighter.

👍🏼

What did the socialists use before they used candles?

Lightbulbs.

👍🏼

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in zero lightbulbs?

Indeterminate

👍🏼

MEN 'N' LIGHTBULBS

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, men will screw anything.

👍🏼

How many metal drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one, but it takes 32 lightbulbs.

👍🏼

How many insufferable pedants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Technically, you don't "change" a lightbulb. Lightbulbs don't change. You have to *remove* the lightbulb and *replace* it with a *different* lightbulb.

👍🏼

How many hipsters does it take to screw a lightbulb?

It's such an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it. And besides, lightbulbs are so mainstream. Kerosene lamps are more true to my inner being.

👍🏼

Why dont feminist use lightbulbs?

The glass celling lets in more than enough light.

👍🏼

Where do lightbulbs die?

Offswitch.

👍🏼

I replaced all the lightbulbs at my friend's place with Phillips' smart range of lightbulbs and now occasionally mess with him by remotely turning them on and off.

Huehuehue.

👍🏼

People always ask how many people does it take to change a lightbulb

but I think the more important question is: how many lightbulbs does it take to change people.

👍🏼

I like my women how I like my lightbulbs...

...not too bright, easy to turn on, and hanging in my basement by a wire.

👍🏼

How many American presidents does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

None, broken lightbulbs have the rights to be treated as a normal lightbulb.

👍🏼

How many feminists do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Lightbulbs promote rape culture.

👍🏼

How many conservatives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three: Two to steal your furniture in the dark, and one to deny lightbulbs exist until you prove otherwise by screwing one in yourself.

👍🏼

How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question. Idiots can't screw in lightbulbs regardless of help from other idiots.

👍🏼

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw a person?

.....none.......wtf are you into.

👍🏼

What are the most funny Lightbulbs jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Lightbulbs? Well, here are the best Lightbulbs dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Lightbulbs pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes