Lightbulb Jokes

Following is our collection of bulb puns and teamsters one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Lightbulb jokes for adults, dirty edison jokes and clean lamp dad gags for kids.

The Best Lightbulb Puns

How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They only *talk* about change.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take in to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.

(

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes two, very tiny people, to screw, in a lightbulb.

How many Karens did it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

She just holds the lightbulb in the socket and expects the rest of the world to revolve around her.


How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They will never allow change, even if it makes the world a brighter place.

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

Men can be Feminists, too.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.

How many "sup dude"s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, it's already lit fam.

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.


How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. We don't address hardware issues.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. One to change the lightbulb and nine to blog about how empowering it was.

How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Look, we can change the lightbulb. That I will tell you. We're changing it, ok? And I understand what you're saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say "Is the lightbulb really dead?". Thats what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The lightbulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. But we are going to change it.


One day I changed a lightbulb, crossed the road, and walked into a bar.

Then I realized my whole life was a joke.

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.

One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis..*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*

how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to beat the room for being black and one to arrest the bulb for being broke.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark

How many dead people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.

How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none. That's a hardware problem

but have you tried turning it on and off again?

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb just burned out; this is not the time to discuss it.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves

How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who knows? They're all too busy playing with the switch.

How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?

We wouldn't know, the women always get to keep the house.

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

...


Change? That's socialism.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. You don't need a lightbulb when you have a glass ceiling.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.

How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?

Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb

None. Who needs a lightbulb when there's a glass ceiling.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. They're efficient and not very funny.

How many corpses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It must be more than eight, 'cause my basement's still dark.

How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb?

"No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."

How many LAPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They shoot the room for being black and beat up the bulb for being broke.

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

How many ninjas does it take to...

Where did that lightbulb come from?!

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only two, but its kinda hard to get em in there.

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

5.

1 to change the bulb and 4 to shoot the room up for being black

SRS bait.

How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light-bulb?

None.

Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?

*One to hold the bulb up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them, three to scream at the circuit breaker and belittle it for controlling power, and eight others to console the first four while they tweet about how problematic this traumatic experience has been for everyone.*

How many non-humorous people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One

How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?

Only one, but it takes the whole Emergency Room to remove it.

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes two doctors and a nurse to get it out.

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it.

Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed.

Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?

Man 2: I prefer the ladder.

Man 1: ok, step stool it is.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Only 2, it's just really difficult getting them in the lightbulb.

How many fat activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is beautiful the way it is. Society needs to change and learn to accept and stop shaming lightbulbs that don't conform to its standards.

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?

14,000.

1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

(My 8yo Daughter) How many cookies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't, I eat them all.

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know, but I have 3 in my basement and I still can't see a thing.

There is an abundance of incandescent jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 61 funniest jokes and lightbulb puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any mras witze you can hear about lightbulb.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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