One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.
My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago.
She looked at me and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt".
I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.
They throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.
He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
Why must it be a group activity?
None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.
Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.
The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?
He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."
After I tried, she freaked out and told me never again.
I guess the bulb was hot.
Too
"This is not working I'm going to my mum's house."
So, I opened the fridge's door, the light came on and the juice was cold.
- What the hell did she mean?
She told me to turn the light off and stick it in her butt.
Should've waited for the bulb to cool down first.
Delivered by crane.
how come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?
1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?
There was still nothing, but now you could see it.
The cop asks the girl "did santa get you that?"
"Yes" the little girl replies
"Well next time tell him to put a reflector light on it" and the cop fines her £5
The girl, startled, replies "did santa get you that" and points at the horse
"He sure did" replied the cop, laughing
"Well tell him next time the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top of it"
An **optimist** sees light at the end of the tunnel.
A **realist** sees a freight train.
The **train driver** sees 3 fucking idiots standing on the train tracks.
One. Because we are efficient and not very funny.
Some days I just stay at a green light till I'm feeling good about myself.
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire
God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day."
One. We are efficient and dont have humour.
So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.
Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!
the brewmaster of Budweiser orders first and proudly asks for the most popular brew in America, a Bud Light.
the brewmaster of Miller smiles and asks for a true original, a Miller Lite.
the brewmaster of Guinness winces and orders a Diet Coke.
"a Diet Coke?!," exclaim the others.. "don't you drink Guinness?"
"well shit no one else was having beer I didn't want to be the only one," he complained.
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
^([I stole this from imgur comments, but I am posting it here so that you can use it today and tomorrow on people you dislike. Merry Christmas.])
Light blue.
No one knows. They never get to keep the house.
Thoughts and prayers.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Light? Well, here are the best Light dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Light pick up lines to share with friends.