Following is our collection of Light jokes which are very funny. There are some light flashlight jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these light light bulb puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.
They throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.
He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
Why must it be a group activity?
The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?
He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."
None. Feminists don't change anything.
The bellhop says "can I take your bags?"
"No," she answers, "I'm traveling light."
*(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*
Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.
Better buy a flashlight
Prism
(Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)
You can explore light fluorescent reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean light illumination dad jokes. There are also light puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
None. They prefer Natural Light.
That's not funny
A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."
..should be taken outside and shot.
No one knows. They never get to keep the house.
I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?
A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...
He said "screw" lolol
Thank you day light savings
Microorganisms
Humidity
Light
Heat
Just one. But the light bulb has to want to change.
We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"
Light blue.
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!
One. We are efficient and dont have humour.
Dunno. Seven's not the answer though, my basement is still dark
Do you have a ticket for that?
So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States.
We were at a a red light and i noticed a woman in the car behind me making a lot of arm and hand motions. No one was in the car with her (probably on bluetooth).
Me: Hey babe look at this woman behind us. What is she doing? She's just flailing her arms around but there isn't any one with her.
GF: Maybe she's deaf and she's singing to herself.
A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"
The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"
Apparently not three. It's still dark in my basement.
God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day."
Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.
I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, "60 Watts - Made in China."
I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.
a match made in heaven .-.
1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guy replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist asks, "Well, then what are you doing here?"
The guy says, "Your light was on."
We may never know the truth.
None it's always lit fam
He says, "My clock is defective. It only goes 'tic...tic...tic...tic...' unlike the others, which go 'tic...toc...tic...toc...'."
"No problem", says the watchmaker, taking the clock from its owner.
He then shines a light in the clock's face and says menacingly, "We have ways to make it toc."
how come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?
There was still nothing, but now you could see it.
All they had was 13,749 matches.
Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.
IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?
Customer: Nothing.
IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?
Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...
IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?
Customer: Nope. The power's out.
The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel
... and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.
They aren't dangerous until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.
Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to tell you they are vegans.
.......
Well apparently the correct answer is three. The extra one is needed to post whiny replies when they all get triggered by this joke.
But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.
I'm now afraid of light.
... Is to not talk about fight club.
The second rule of fight club...
Please keep your seat belt on at all times when the light is on.
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel
The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway
Delivered by crane.
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire
That's why some people appear bright until they talk.
Some days I just stay at a green light till I'm feeling good about myself.
One. Because we are efficient and not very funny.
They always eat light.
Unless you get multiplied by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy
But if it looks like bud light, you're good.
Thoughts and prayers.
Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees light from incoming train.
Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
It makes it really difficult for me to see them through the window...
That's why some people look bright until they start talking.
Too
The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied:
"I figured if you 3 weren't ordering beer it would be rude for me to."
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is *New Jersey*
"Are my other relatives also here?"
And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."
The man sits up and says,
"Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"
All of them. Never split the party.
Light blue.
Because light attracts bugs.
One day, the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.
Little Johnny says, It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth.
The teacher says, That is correct, but why?
Little Johnny answers, I don't know, but my mom always tells my dad, 'Turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!'
When he dies, he'll probably walk towards the light - and turn it off.
When he was there, he found a huge lion. The man didn't have a gun and there was no way he could outrun the lion. So, he did the only thing he could do. He got on his knees and prayed "Dear God, I was always a good Christian. Will you perform a miracle and give this lion some christian feelings".
That moment, the clouds parted and a beam of light came from above and touched the lion's heart. The lion raised his paws to the heavens and loudly prayed "Thank you Lord for this meal I'm about to receive."
PS: it was a beam of light.
PPS: 12 700 upvotes and 17 awards. Thank you so much. I haven't been this happy since Xmas.
You should have seen her face light up when she opened it
None, they'll all resist change even if it makes the world a brighter place.
He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.
The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.
The light signals back, I'm a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.
Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.
The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.
Because the light attracts too many bugs
- Dad, which concentration camp are we going to?
- Dunno, son, I'm not interested in politics.
It makes them hard to light
After all, they're literally pro-pain...
The policeman says Sir, you ran a red light. The scientist said I could've sworn it was green. The policeman says Understandable. And gives the scientist a 111,075,071 mph speeding ticket.
Little Johnny was complaining to his mom that he needs a new computer, because the graphics aren't as clear as his friend's.
His mom looked at the monitor and said, it'll take her 10 minutes to upgrade the computer.
Johnny laughed. Mom could barely change a light bulb, but she was going to upgrade his computer in 10 minutes!?
10 minutes later, Johnny couldn't believe it. The graphics were clearer than his friend's!
"How did you do it?", he asked?
She said, "I cleaned your monitor".
Each time you light your lighter. Your lighter gets lighter.. ... Until your lighter gets so lighter it wont light again
It was worth it just to see his little face light up
Jedi aren't allowed to have attachments.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the light bright jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working light lamp piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.