Light Bulb Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?


One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.

How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb?

Why must it be a group activity?

How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Too

How many D&D players does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them. Never split the party.

How many optometrist does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?

How many Germans do you need to change a light bulb?

One. Because we are efficient and not very funny.

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

One. We are efficient and dont have humour.

How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

How many dyslexics does it change to take a light bulb?

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. They never get to keep the house.

How many fuq bois does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None it's always lit fam

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That's not funny

How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently not three. It's still dark in my basement.

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States.

How many prepubescent teen boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

He said "screw" lolol

How many Congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Better buy a flashlight

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

How many ladybugs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.

How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to tell you they are vegans.
.......
Well apparently the correct answer is three. The extra one is needed to post whiny replies when they all get triggered by this joke.

How many dead hookers do you need to change a light bulb?

Dunno. Seven's not the answer though, my basement is still dark

How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. But the light bulb has to want to change.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Feminists don't change anything.

How many bros does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer Natural Light.

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?

How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

\[removed\]

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, or two? Three, or four?

How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb?

1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was

How many Republicans does it take to change a light-bulb?

None.

Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but I have no clue how they got in there.

How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. It *has* to be seven.

How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Thats what grad students are for

A burglar stole all the light bulbs in my house

I know I should be more upset, but I'm absolutely delighted!

How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but it takes an entire emergency room to get it out.

How man nihilists does it take to change a light bulb?

It doesn't matter.

How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

69.

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but it will take three episodes.

I like my women how I like my light bulbs...

Not too bright, easy to turn on and hanging from electrical wire in my basement.

How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a hardware problem.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fact that you think that it's not society, but the light bulb that should change is problematic.

How many PETA memebers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. PETA can't change anything.

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them.

How many cops does it need to change a broken light bulb?

No idea, but they beat up the room for being black and the bulb for being broke

How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know, but it's not five, because my basement is still dark.

How many introverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why does everything have to be a group activity?

How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick question. Protesters never change anything.

Two.

How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wanna go for a bike ride?

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. German light bulbs are quality products.

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb?

LETS GO RIDE BIKES

How many light bulbs does it take to change a man?

Just one, if you put it in the right place.

How many abducted women does it take to change a light bulb?

Five is apparently not enough because my basement is still dark.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.

How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.

How many hobos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dumpsters

How does a 49er fan change a light bulb?

He doesn't he just talks about how great it use to be

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, they will hold it up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them

How many suh dudes does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It's already lit fam

One

How many time travellers does it take to change a light bulb?

Last night I had to change a light bulb, a bit later on I crossed the road, then walked into a bar...

I began to realize my life was one big joke.

How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb?

None, it is a hardware issue!

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

Six.

Why?

IT JUST DOES, OK!?!?

As a feminist who's fairly critical of her own movement, this made me laugh:

Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: That's not funny.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the real question is how they got in there.

How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?

Five. One to hold the lightbulb and four to turn the ladder.

How many NSA agents does it take to change a light bulb?

I've just been informed that the NSA no longer has the capability to change a light bulb, but if we give them access to everyone's email and cell phone communications they will hopefully intercept a message that will crack this lightbulb case wide open.

Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

How many guys wearing turbans does it take to change a light bulb?

Sikhs.

How many angry people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they tell it to screw itself.

How many dead hooker's in your basement does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not 4

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but how they got in there I will never know.

What are the funniest light bulb jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Light Bulb? Well, here are the best Light Bulb puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Light Bulb pick up lines to share with friends.

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